AITA: visiting senior relatives edition

[Anonymous]

It’s one night. Leave the alarm off and put the dog in your room with you.
I’m currently in bed alone ( well with the dog) with no alarm because my spouse gets in from work at midnight. I’m still alive and well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't tell an adult not to go outside. Give them the alarm code/put your dog in the room with you.

Agree with this. Maybe you should have just invited them for a homemade dinner and then they could stay overnight at a hotel where they have the freedom to ::checks notes:: leave their bedroom when they want as a grown ass adult.

Another in agreement with this. I wouldn't like it either, but I would accept what they need or not invite them to stay the night. Keep dog in your room and let your guests roam.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't allow them in my house if they feel entitled enough to endanger my dog in the middle of the night. Who does that? How would you be able to tell if it's your wandering senior making noise in the night or a robber? They can wander in a hotel.

[Anonymous]

You are fine. Your house, your rules. Don’t offer next time. I have teens and tell them to stop walking all over in the middle of the night because it wakes us up. It’s jarring to hear the front door open or people walking around in the middle of the night if you are a light sleeper.

[Anonymous]

It is reasonable.

My brother smokes. When he comes, I keep the alarm off because I know he smokes outside. It is really annoying but it is what it is. Our house has this him and when you open the door and I can hear every time he opens the door.

[Anonymous]

You didn't have to invite them to stay if that causes you problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep the dog in your room with the door closed.

+1

Do this even when guests come to your house for just socializing.

[Anonymous]

I probably have guests who stay overnight or for a longer stay 1-2 times a year.

My household is functional enough that this is a nothing-burger.

[Anonymous]

Isn't this a clear sign of dementia? It's not just insomnia.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks everyone. To the pp who mentioned dementia, yes. Both of the guests have it, sadly. This was part of my I wanted to keep the alarm on - I wanted to wake up if they left our house.

I ended up asking the relative they normally live with if my plan was ok (because it does feel odd to essentially lock them in my house) and she said it is what they normally do, too.

So, I guess under normal circumstances I would be TA, but perhaps not under these!

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit surprised by the responses. I cant imagine locking someone in my home while they are visiting. How stifling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks everyone. To the pp who mentioned dementia, yes. Both of the guests have it, sadly. This was part of my I wanted to keep the alarm on - I wanted to wake up if they left our house.

I ended up asking the relative they normally live with if my plan was ok (because it does feel odd to essentially lock them in my house) and she said it is what they normally do, too.

So, I guess under normal circumstances I would be TA, but perhaps not under these!

1. A person with dementia cannot be trusted to walk out on their own in the middle of the night.

2. Indeed, a person with dementia is not capable of traveling and thus visiting you on their own.

So your posts are contradictory.

Did you just want to throw that in to justify your locking the house at night?
Or do you mean that your visitors are a little confused with Mild Cognitive Impairment - which is not dementia, and might never become dementia?

[Anonymous]

So, if it's dementia you can't just ask him nicely to not do something. He won't remember! Why are these people traveling around on their own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, if it's dementia you can't just ask him nicely to not do something. He won't remember! Why are these people traveling around on their own?

OP is wildly exaggerating. Someone with an official diagnosis of dementia cannot get around on their own safely.