When should kids "tell"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should tell if it affects them directly. So telling on someone who tackled him was correct. NOT telling on Larla for saying mean things about someone else was also correct.

Ehhhhh… I see we’re coming from, but I don’t think you’re taking the bullying aspect into consideration. If your child sees that somebody else is getting hurt or bullied, then they should absolutely tell adult.

Agree.

+2
Bullying has an actual definition. But nowadays one bad/rude comment is considered bullying. It’s a bit out of hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What grade and how old is your son? It also matters whether he is big for his age/grade, average or small. A bigger than average 5th grader who gets playfully tackled and then tattles isn’t going to be well liked. But a smaller sized 2nd grade boy who gets tackled by a bigger/older kid not in a playful way- okay to complain

You’re disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our rule is you should tell the other kid to knock it off first. If they stop, you don’t tattle. If they continue, you tell an adult. 99% of children are normal and will stop when another child tells them to stop. This is good for both your child and the instigator - your child learns to defend themselves and to trust their own ability to confront wrongdoing with confidence. Or helps the instigator learn proper socializing and teaches them to respect your child.

1% of children are psychopaths and that is for whom we preserve the right to tattle.

NP. A whole lot more than 1% of kids are immature and impulsive and learn to stop later than your kid. It may make them annoying and may get them in trouble frequently but it doesn't make them psychopaths.

Then they are on the path of becoming psychopaths. Believe it or not, in elementary school a child should recognize another’s firm NO as a signal to stop. In fact, if your child is older than 5 and does not respond to a NO by another child, they are very poorly socialized, which is just another way of saying they are on the path of psychopathy. It is unfortunate that parents don’t recognize how early a child needs to learn how to play with other children.

[Anonymous]

I always told my kids:
If it doesn't affect you and nobody is getting hurt, there's no reason to tattle. MYOB.
If someone could get hurt (physically, emotionally, etc), first try to step in if you can do it safely. If you can't - or if you try and it's not effective - then you need to find an adult for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should tell if it affects them directly. So telling on someone who tackled him was correct. NOT telling on Larla for saying mean things about someone else was also correct.

Ehhhhh… I see we’re coming from, but I don’t think you’re taking the bullying aspect into consideration. If your child sees that somebody else is getting hurt or bullied, then they should absolutely tell adult.

+1 If a child is assaulting, harassing, committing battery upon, spewing uncalled-for/persistent hateful speech at, or bullying another person or people, the child should always report them to the grown up, even if the report is anonymous. If we witnessed an adult doing any of these things, we would (hopefully) take action, which many times involves reporting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher. I explain tattling as trying to get someone in trouble. Telling is getting someone help. If someone is hurting someone, breaking something, or being unsafe, you tell me.

Snitches get snitches drives me crazy. I teach in DC where the gun violence is often retaliation. If someone “snitched” on the guy with the gun the cycle might end.

Love this.