Getting over baby fever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We got a dog.

Same
Best decision ever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone wanted to have an additional baby, but your spouse didn’t? How did you get over your baby fever?

menopause

[Anonymous]

PP did menopause actually make your desire go away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We got a dog.

Same
Best decision ever

We started accumulating pets and it certainly was helpful in diminishing any baby fever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Myself and some others I know are in process of divorce from husbands who never really wanted that final child. And they keep reminding us. Men know their limits and we need to respect that for the last longevity of our marriage.
Think if having that additional baby is worth being a single mom at some point ( because these husbands usually abandon, and I’m talking upper middle class families)

Somehow when my husband denied me the last baby, I realized he has no respect for my desires and my vision of my life. He knew how important it was for me, he knew I’d never get over it, but he decided it’s we’ll worth his comfort. I have limits too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Myself and some others I know are in process of divorce from husbands who never really wanted that final child. And they keep reminding us. Men know their limits and we need to respect that for the last longevity of our marriage.
Think if having that additional baby is worth being a single mom at some point ( because these husbands usually abandon, and I’m talking upper middle class families)

Somehow when my husband denied me the last baby, I realized he has no respect for my desires and my vision of my life. He knew how important it was for me, he knew I’d never get over it, but he decided it’s we’ll worth his comfort. I have lim.its too. [/quote

If the roles were reversed .....you know the answer lol. I honestly women don't realize sometimes how much it's always bout them and their happiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Myself and some others I know are in process of divorce from husbands who never really wanted that final child. And they keep reminding us. Men know their limits and we need to respect that for the last longevity of our marriage.
Think if having that additional baby is worth being a single mom at some point ( because these husbands usually abandon, and I’m talking upper middle class families)

Somehow when my husband denied me the last baby, I realized he has no respect for my desires and my vision of my life. He knew how important it was for me, he knew I’d never get over it, but he decided it’s we’ll worth his comfort. I have lim.its too. [/quote

If the roles were reversed .....you know the answer lol. I honestly women don't realize sometimes how much it's always bout them and their happiness

The roles were reversed in many situations , and I always did my best to accommodate. I made many sacrifices because I knew how important certain things for his happiness.

[Anonymous]

I looked at all the things we were able to do that would be more difficult with another kid. I got over the baby fever pretty quickly but just appreciating our lives for what they were. And then a few friends started having babies and I was worried it would kickstart resentment. It did the opposite. I loved visiting and helping out, but I was SO glad we ended up not having another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I looked at all the things we were able to do that would be more difficult with another kid. I got over the baby fever pretty quickly but just appreciating our lives for what they were. And then a few friends started having babies and I was worried it would kickstart resentment. It did the opposite. I loved visiting and helping out, but I was SO glad we ended up not having another one.

Sorry should say BY just appreciating our lives.

[Anonymous]

It’s better for the environment, and therefore better for your existing kids, if you stop at 2. You’re doing your kids a favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people I happen to know with three kids are having major marital issues and I didn’t want to disturb what has so far been a great life.

This. Or the mother who was the one who wanted that third baby the most is a miserable mother martyr who pretends it’s all fine when she’s cracking. If one spouse says no, you have to respect that. Some things cannot be compromised on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I happen to know with three kids are having major marital issues and I didn’t want to disturb what has so far been a great life.

This. Or the mother who was the one who wanted that third baby the most is a miserable mother martyr who pretends it’s all fine when she’s cracking. If one spouse says no, you have to respect that. Some things cannot be compromised on.

The families I know with multiple kids are pretty happy, you are just trying to convince yourself that all big families struggle. Also, it's in no way a rule or law that if one spouse says no, you have to respect that. Life is so much more nuanced than that, but you seem unable to grasp it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Myself and some others I know are in process of divorce from husbands who never really wanted that final child. And they keep reminding us. Men know their limits and we need to respect that for the last longevity of our marriage.
Think if having that additional baby is worth being a single mom at some point ( because these husbands usually abandon, and I’m talking upper middle class families)

Somehow when my husband denied me the last baby, I realized he has no respect for my desires and my vision of my life. He knew how important it was for me, he knew I’d never get over it, but he decided it’s we’ll worth his comfort. I have limits too.

“Denied you the last baby?” That’s pretty harsh. What makes your needs more important than his limits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Myself and some others I know are in process of divorce from husbands who never really wanted that final child. And they keep reminding us. Men know their limits and we need to respect that for the last longevity of our marriage.
Think if having that additional baby is worth being a single mom at some point ( because these husbands usually abandon, and I’m talking upper middle class families)

Somehow when my husband denied me the last baby, I realized he has no respect for my desires and my vision of my life. He knew how important it was for me, he knew I’d never get over it, but he decided it’s we’ll worth his comfort. I have limits too.

“Denied you the last baby?” That’s pretty harsh. What makes your needs more important than his limits?

The internet stranger cannot asses his limits and my needs better than I do. So you have to trust my word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I looked at all the things we were able to do that would be more difficult with another kid. I got over the baby fever pretty quickly but just appreciating our lives for what they were. And then a few friends started having babies and I was worried it would kickstart resentment. It did the opposite. I loved visiting and helping out, but I was SO glad we ended up not having another one.

+1

Especially to the first sentence above: "I looked at all the things we were able to do that would be more difficult with another kid."

OP, sit down and list all the things you want to do with your existing kids(s)--do you look forward to, say, traveling with them and showing them interesting places and creating memories that way? Do you want to be involved and volunteer when they are involved in activities, groups, etc.? Be able to chaperone school field trips sometimes? Have the ability to sit down and do things at home with your kid(s) without the nagging feeling that you have to watch the clock because another, younger kid's schedule/nap/preschool pickup time is coming up soon? If you want to do those things, shift into the "It's great to be able to be involved in my kid's preschool/dance class/scouts eventually etc.!" mindset. Focus on that instead of on the baby phase.

I am NOT saying that parents with 2, 3, more kids are never chaperones, or volunteers, or travel with the kids, etc. But I am saying that those things are much easier, the fewer the kids. Sure, there are joys in however many kids you want to have, but your time and energy don't stretch infinitely, and you can be a parent with more time and energy for involvement as your kids grow, if you don't have another child.