But OP’s DD made it a point to tell her parents (or at least her dad) about it—-and she knows it’s wrong. She’s basically asking for dad to condemn this and he just shrugged it off. Epic dad fail, tbh. OP I’m sorry that your DH didn’t take this seriously. Just be sure he is the one to go down to the police station or mall security office to fetch your DD when the phone rings. Because this is on him. |
Your 16 year old is dating a guy whose parents you don’t know? This is weird. So I’m Going to bow out of this thread because we are just on different parenting planets. She’s not in college. And imo, influences on your daughter should at least be known to you. |
I don’t think all teens shoplift but I assure you, the kids you are stereotyping either direction don’t fit your mold. How on earth would you know if they shoplift or not? I know quite a few high performing academic future ivy kids who do it (have done it) and the only reason I do is bc I got it on a phone search. My own smart high achieving daughter isn’t stupid enough to actually share that info with me. |
I would talk to her like an adult. Let her know that you will respect her choices and in turn she will need to respect yours. You and your DH have no tolerance for stealing and her BF will not be allowed in your house without an escort. This includes the bathroom - take it or leave it. I would also tell her that if she suspects him of stealing something in a store that she needs to excuse herself and wait outside so she does not get caught up in an arrest. All you can do at this point is guide and give advice. |
This isn't LOL. I know in DC and MD they have decriminalized crime, but this isn't funny. If they ever travel out of state he will quickly find out that most places do indeed arrest shoplifters. Take a look at the Florida thread of a man getting a felony arrest for keying a car for examples. |
Ewww how much of a helicopter are you? The best part about high school is not having to meet all the parents of friends and def not meeting parents of kids they are dating, esp the first few weeks like OP said. They aren’t that serious. You do not meet parents. That is weird. |
Dad did fine in the moment. Now you follow up and discuss how she wants to handle. She may already be thinking “ I’ve got to dump this guy”. She should have taken the nail glue back and said she accidentally walked out with it without paying. |
The stereotypes quite a few of the posters have here are jaw dropping. You have to wonder if they ever really had any close relationships with people. If so you’d know how common all people in all walks of life have done things in their youth that they don’t want their kids doing. People shouldn’t have to describe their kids when discussing teenage issues unless it’s related to the issue. Teen shoplifting involves all types of teens. Compulsive shoplifting is a different story. That’s why it would be a good idea to phone the mother. You might get some insight on him. |
I wish you do not meet parents. I always met the miserable ones. |
Tell her - you don’t need to steal. He doesn’t need to steal. I’ll buy you nail glue. It is 1,000% not worth ruining your future or his over nail glue. I want the best for both of you, but the security guards at cvs do not. Cut the crap & I’ll help you figure out how to get what you need.
Drill into her that she should never steal, & he shouldn’t either, & that you have adults who will help you. |
I have never met the parents of any boy/girlfriends of my teens except for prom and graduation. |
To the folks who find “the best part of high school is not meeting other parents”, etc., that’s pretty sad, but good luck to you. As PP said upthread, you’re on a different parenting planet. you’re free to abdicate supervision of your teenagers and deal with the associate consequences. |
This! All of this. |
Can you stop being the one person that responds lol We get it. Your kid starts dating someone and you scream I need to meet their parents. Totally normal haha |