How is your marital relationship if your spouse is unhealthy and eats junk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disordered eating is a mental health issue. I say this as someone who has struggled with it for most of my life. For anyone who has not struggled with it, you'll just never get it. People's brains just aren't wired the same way, so for all of the posters whose spouses have unhealthy eating habits, I would suggest urging them to see a therapist to work on it. It's a combination of mental health (therapy), physical health (training), eating (dietician), and sometimes/often medication (which can be prescribed by a therapist). For me, I did the mental health, physical health, and eating pieces but it didn't all click until I tried medication. It's almost a 180 and I finally understand how "normal" people feel. Try to be supportive of your spouse and encourage them to find a therapist to discuss. There is no overnight solution, but the one PP who mentioned being stuck in the rut of complaining about being fat but still going to McDonald's for breakfast is so, so common. Again, it's really hard for people who haven't been there to understand. But I can tell you for sure that getting a third party involved is probably the best idea. No amount of nagging, begging, pleading, shaming is going to work.

+1 I wish more people recognized that what OP describes is very much a mental health issue, it is not a character flaw or lack of willpower. Treating it as a mental health issue changes the treatment approach and how people feel about it.

My DH's disordered eating was tied to his depression and ADHD/anxiety. His depression and disordered eating were treated first and then his ADHD/ADHD. It was a 180.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is great. I am healthy, work out, same weight as at wedding.

Spouse gained weight eats junk and became clinically obese. Generally I let it slide because I love them and still found them to be attractive, even if a bit less.

Then spouse started Ozempic. They still eat unhealthy but look much better.

Of course I want spouse to prioritize health. And worry about junk food diet. But they are their own person. I still love them the same if they are thin or fat.

[Anonymous]

It's mostly fine except for two things:
1. They run out of steam really quickly and won't want to go on a hike, or a walk (unless it's very slow and there's a bench or two) or to do anything more physical than bowling or mini golf. I go with the kids or friends and that's okay, but it'd be nice to also include DH
2. Sometimes it's hard for us to find a restaurant we'll both enjoy. I don't eat fast food at all. He always wants to stop at BK or McD's or something and even considers Wendy's and Panera "health food". On long car rides that cover meal times I'll often bring a meal for me to eat in the car which would be fine if we all ate it together, but for me to eat my sad car meal while he sits at a booth at McDonalds and happily chows down makes me sad. Even when we eat locally, he never wants to share a dish with me. If something looks good but it's too big a portion, he won't share.

[Anonymous]

when therapy is refused and the terrible eating continues the end result is full-time caregiving for a spouse long before the elder years....then what? I'm so concerned about a couple friends but I just encourage them to carve out time so their own health won't get neglected, not really hearing me though it's just sad....

[Anonymous]

I went through this with my spouse . He was thin no matter what he ate eventually though all the junk caught up to him and his cholesterol is scary high . He is finally changing for the better . Can you use a pcp check up to scare him into doing better ? He should want to be healthier for your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is fat. She loves McDonald's and she does not exercise much. But she is a great wife and a great mother. The way she looks is secondary. We have a good marriage. We have a good time as a family. Do I want her eating habits to be better? Yes..But she is an adult she has ownership of her health.

Guys stop criticizing your spouses eating habits looks etc...

Gross