Anyone tried Dr. Becky?

[Anonymous]

There’s a comedian who imitates her on social media and it’s hilarious. “My child stabbed the dog today and you know what I didn’t do? Make him feel like he did something wrong.”

[Anonymous]

I paid for a couple of months and then canceled. She had a Mother's Day special last May when I signed up. I learned a few things that worked well for me as a parent. I still use "two things are true" and "you are a sturdy leader" phrases either out loud or to myself.

Ultimately, my husband was not a big fan. He found her annoying. And I felt like we needed to find something where we were both on the same page. We paid for a few sessions of family therapy.

[Anonymous]

She’s not evidence-based for kids with actual behavioral issues. Probably fine for normal parenting.

[Anonymous]

Like almost any "parenting expert" she has some good points that may or may not be effective with your kid.
I watched her video on how she didn't like the phrase "You get what you get and you don't get upset." She thinks the phrase is overly harsh and not helpful for working through emotions around disappointments.
I disagree - it's an extremely helpful phrase for teaching children how to function in a group where the adult may not have the ability/time to help each child process their feelings about getting a green popsicle instead of a red one. Children often repeat it themselves, and I think its empowering.

[Anonymous]

I have the youngest kids amongst my friend group so am not at the age where she’s as relevant but I will be steering farrr clear of anything she recommends because anecdotally my friends who watch her have the worst behaved kids, and it’s not even close. She seems to attract parents who have emotional issues themselves around discipline. I feel like she does less what’s best for the kid and more how to justify whatever parenting technique you want to do (which again, anecdotally, does not yield good kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree more with Bad Therapy and think Dr. Becky's style is too permissive. But to each their own.

Ewww. You actually read that crap?

NP. You sound super tolerant. No need to call ideas you don't agree with "crap," it makes you sound rather fragile.

OP, if Dr. Becky's advice doesn't work for you, keep looking. Gentle parenting is the current fad parenting style, but it doesn't work great for all families.

It’s crap because it’s political propaganda being pushed as parenting advice.

This. It’s not science it’s fear mongering right wing bullshit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like almost any "parenting expert" she has some good points that may or may not be effective with your kid.
I watched her video on how she didn't like the phrase "You get what you get and you don't get upset." She thinks the phrase is overly harsh and not helpful for working through emotions around disappointments.
I disagree - it's an extremely helpful phrase for teaching children how to function in a group where the adult may not have the ability/time to help each child process their feelings about getting a green popsicle instead of a red one. Children often repeat it themselves, and I think its empowering.

+1 She has good advice and bad but she does seem to have the idea that her way is the one right way for all types of kids (and doesn’t seem open to the idea that different types of kids respond to different approaches.)

[Anonymous]

I think she lost me when you weren’t supposed to tell your child when your feelings were hurt because that was making the child responsible for your feelings.

No, that is showing your child that their actions have impacts and other people ALSO have feelings that matter.

—A mom who was a legit parentified daughter and knows exactly what it means for a child to feel responsible for an adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she lost me when you weren’t supposed to tell your child when your feelings were hurt because that was making the child responsible for your feelings.

No, that is showing your child that their actions have impacts and other people ALSO have feelings that matter.

—A mom who was a legit parentified daughter and knows exactly what it means for a child to feel responsible for an adult

so she's another one of these modern parenting "experts" creating child-centric households where parents lose their minds and kids grow up to be narcissists. great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the youngest kids amongst my friend group so am not at the age where she’s as relevant but I will be steering farrr clear of anything she recommends because anecdotally my friends who watch her have the worst behaved kids, and it’s not even close. She seems to attract parents who have emotional issues themselves around discipline. I feel like she does less what’s best for the kid and more how to justify whatever parenting technique you want to do (which again, anecdotally, does not yield good kids).

anecdotally, my friends who spanked their kids as toddlers have the best behaved kids. not even joking. the kids who grew up with "positive parenting" are the ones who are intolerable to have over because they have zero respect for adults and behave rudely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree more with Bad Therapy and think Dr. Becky's style is too permissive. But to each their own.

Ewww. You actually read that crap?

NP. You sound super tolerant. No need to call ideas you don't agree with "crap," it makes you sound rather fragile.

OP, if Dr. Becky's advice doesn't work for you, keep looking. Gentle parenting is the current fad parenting style, but it doesn't work great for all families.

It’s crap because it’s political propaganda being pushed as parenting advice.

This. It’s not science it’s fear mongering right wing bullshit

i think you have the wrong wing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree more with Bad Therapy and think Dr. Becky's style is too permissive. But to each their own.

Ewww. You actually read that crap?

NP. You sound super tolerant. No need to call ideas you don't agree with "crap," it makes you sound rather fragile.

OP, if Dr. Becky's advice doesn't work for you, keep looking. Gentle parenting is the current fad parenting style, but it doesn't work great for all families.

It’s crap because it’s political propaganda being pushed as parenting advice.

This. It’s not science it’s fear mongering right wing bullshit

i think you have the wrong wing.

DP - yes, literally nothing that she says is even center right. The woman’s a liberal loon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree more with Bad Therapy and think Dr. Becky's style is too permissive. But to each their own.

Ewww. You actually read that crap?

NP. You sound super tolerant. No need to call ideas you don't agree with "crap," it makes you sound rather fragile.

OP, if Dr. Becky's advice doesn't work for you, keep looking. Gentle parenting is the current fad parenting style, but it doesn't work great for all families.

It’s crap because it’s political propaganda being pushed as parenting advice.

This. It’s not science it’s fear mongering right wing bullshit

i think you have the wrong wing.

DP - yes, literally nothing that she says is even center right. The woman’s a liberal loon!

Look at the posts above. They aren’t taking about Dr Becky. Just a RW hack who pushes RW opinions as facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the youngest kids amongst my friend group so am not at the age where she’s as relevant but I will be steering farrr clear of anything she recommends because anecdotally my friends who watch her have the worst behaved kids, and it’s not even close. She seems to attract parents who have emotional issues themselves around discipline. I feel like she does less what’s best for the kid and more how to justify whatever parenting technique you want to do (which again, anecdotally, does not yield good kids).

I hope your friends and others are not as judgmental as you when your youngest gets older and act out. Judging how all kids act based on their parents shows that you are very naive, judgmental, and maybe not ready to be a parent (too late). My parents disciplined different than Dr Becky and my sibling has all sorts of issues...all from childhood.

You don't get to judge. Maybe you should tell your friends how you feel so they can get a better more understanding friend. Kids have ADHD, anxiety, all sorts of stuff. Kids act out for all types of reasons, not just due to how the parent disciplines their child.

DR Becky says different kids need different things. She also says if what she says doesn't work, get help elsewhere. Some of her stuff works for my kid, some doesn't. I like some of her phrasing and how she is non-judgmental for parents with kids who have trouble with things like transitions. But judging other parents is really awful (unless they are abusing the child like spanking them) as you have no idea what they have to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Trying to replace communities where people can raise kids to play and learn from each other and adults with parenting experts isn’t t going well is it?

I’m starting to think parenting advice is just a giant scam.