Abuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking?

OP here. DD, 16, thinks her father (DH) is emotionally and verbally abusive. I’m not sure if she’s right, or if they just don’t have a good relationship…

You...you can't hear or see what he says or does to your daughter in your house? Does he live elsewhere? Tune in to wtf is happening in your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

OMG yes, this is abusive. You need to get her out of this situation. Leave with her, help her be elsewhere, support her in emancipation if that seems warranted.

This absolutely causes life long issues, I've seen it in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

That's abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking?

OP here. DD, 16, thinks her father (DH) is emotionally and verbally abusive. I’m not sure if she’s right, or if they just don’t have a good relationship…

The fact that she says this and you’re “not sure if she’s right” means you are an enabler. You are helping him to abuse her and she will hold you accountable for this later - I promise this will come back to haunt you. She is asking for you help, something that teens don’t always do - give it to her.

True

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

The car accident may have been her fault. If you don't agree with it, take her and move out.

I don’t think it was her fault- she was not in the car at the time. He wouldn’t let me take her, since he is very close with her…

You make no sense, if he is that abusive, they aren't close. You take your child and file for full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

dcum is going to hate me, but I have to call troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

I am going to try really hard here to be nice to you OP>

You are either a troll or an incredibly awful human enabling your DH. How in the world do you not know any of this even one item on this list is not abuse????

Yes this is abuse 1000% shame on you for allowing your daughter to be anywhere near a person who treats here this way.

Your daughter needs help. NOW!

[Anonymous]

This is 1000% abuse.

[Anonymous]

I suspect OP is also being abused or came from an abusive background. The behavior she listed is so obviously abusive. And the fact that she doesn't know, shows that this type of behavior has been normalized, at best, or she was told it was to help her, at worst.

OP--do not do anything until you talk to a Domestic Violence hotline or counselor. You need help and your daughter needs help. But you do not tell your abuser what you are doing, that you think they are abusive, or that you are thinking of leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

dcum is going to hate me, but I have to call troll.

Lol. It’s always a possibility, but this doesn’t scream troll to me. Just a clueless, out of touch parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect OP is also being abused or came from an abusive background. The behavior she listed is so obviously abusive. And the fact that she doesn't know, shows that this type of behavior has been normalized, at best, or she was told it was to help her, at worst.

OP--do not do anything until you talk to a Domestic Violence hotline or counselor. You need help and your daughter needs help. But you do not tell your abuser what you are doing, that you think they are abusive, or that you are thinking of leaving.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

troll

[Anonymous]

Agree its a troll and if not, she needs to move out with her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP give us examples.

Yes, emotional abuse can absolutely be as bad as physical abuse.

Okay, I’ll just give a few common examples (basically on a day to day basis):

- calling her fat, ugly, worthless, stupid
- mocking her voice/appearance
- screaming at her for hours without stopping
- blaming her for things (car accident, medical issues)
- saying she should “just die”

I’m pretty sure these are all signs of abuse, however I don’t know enough to decide.

Yes this is abuse. You need to make a journal and document each instance with dates and times. Get a therapist for your daughter or tell her to go to her schools counselor. Cps will likely mandate family counseling and anger management for your husband. Start quietly making a plan for you both to live separately from him in apt or with family/friends. If you feel he will react violently you should contact a domestic violence shelter. Be brave for your daughter. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Emotional vs verbal vs physical:

1. Which kind is the most damaging?
2. Is emotional abuse actually a thing? What are some examples of it?
3. Which kind(s) should be reported?

Thanks.

Verbal. Words hurt and leave invisible scars. I was a voice major and one day a small group of students were invited to a master class which was taking place at a farm. When we got to the stable the vocal coach stood about 6' from a horse and told screamed complimentary. The horse shied away and was visibly upset. Then he motioned us to come closer and then in a soft voice he called the horse every name in the book and the horse nuzzled up to him

Then he looked at us and said, " The human voice is the most beautiful instrument on any stage and it is also the only instrument that can hurt at will. ". I have never forgotten that lesson and I have tried my very best to speak to everyone in a soft voice.