Academic Rigor vs. Having a Life

[Anonymous]

I don't know of any capable, high-achieving high school student who ISN'T stressed-out. In public or private, for that matter! It's not a function of the school, it's a function of the student's and their family's awareness that it's difficult to find the "best-fit" college, and it's challenging to juggle academics with extra-curriculars. That's all. Then they get into college and feel better.

Actually, I'll go even further: if you're not at least a little stressed out and aware of the challenges in high school, you're likely to be more stressed out in college, because it won't be the right one, or you're not entirely prepared for it. The ones who work really hard in high school towards their goals and find the right college for themselves, tend to be the ones who can relax a little once they get there, because they're highly prepared and they've made sure to select the best fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think it depends on your kid. My daughter played multiple sports at NCS. She had a great social life with kids from all over the DMV, obviously including STA.

She chose not to compete with the "smartest" kids at school. She has a 3.87 uw gpa and 35 ACT score first try.

I really think kids need to decide what is important to them and as a parent, be supportive of their choices.

Your daughter sounds like an impressive kid and the exception to the rule. It sounds like she coasted to the top 10% in the class (the average NCS GPA is a 3.5) with an active social life and many athletics. 90% of the girls can't achieve this. My daughter and friends like the school but they work really hard for uneven grades and barely see boys (despite being lovely, outgoing and wanting interaction.) They do play several sports per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that Stone Ridge is very supportive of their students having outside sports and activities. Our DD have never had an issue leaving school early or missing a day of school for a club sport competition, as long as we notified the school ahead of time. Teachers have always been supportive allowing the students to make up work or tests thay were missed on those days. SR has a “whole child” approach to their education: growing mind, body, and spirit.

I can second this ... Our child is in SR MS. We haven't done much missing school besides medical appointments, but the block schedule/workload has felt balanced and our child says school is "fun" (the school day itself). I like looking forward to where I spend my day, and I'm glad she does as well .

SR is very different in high school, when students have to make choices about taking honors and AP courses. It is very competitive for students who are looking for that. You could also take the less rigorous route and not take any AP courses, but that would hamper college admissions choices.

+1 my daughter studies all the time. I see kids from other private high schools who seem to not be as stressed.

A perfect example of trying to balance rigor and school spirit is when the girls at SR attend games with their laptops open. We saw this during a visit to the school and decided this was the place for my academically motivated daughter.

if a girl feels like she needs to open her laptop and get work done while she is at a game, that sounds awful to me. to each her own I guess.

depends how many games I guess? I am not very sporty and find games boring... I could see them as an opportunity to enjoy the highlights and also read/catch up on tasks. Saying this as an adult, not a student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of any capable, high-achieving high school student who ISN'T stressed-out. In public or private, for that matter! It's not a function of the school, it's a function of the student's and their family's awareness that it's difficult to find the "best-fit" college, and it's challenging to juggle academics with extra-curriculars. That's all. Then they get into college and feel better.

Actually, I'll go even further: if you're not at least a little stressed out and aware of the challenges in high school, you're likely to be more stressed out in college, because it won't be the right one, or you're not entirely prepared for it. The ones who work really hard in high school towards their goals and find the right college for themselves, tend to be the ones who can relax a little once they get there, because they're highly prepared and they've made sure to select the best fit.

This is a good point. My girls who graduated from SR were stressed in high school but went on to top colleges (according to DCUM) and find it easy in comparison. They still have a lot of work but they have been extremely prepared for the workload and rigor of college.

Looking back though, it's hard to know if it's better to have them working so hard in high school pays off? Yes, they are prepared and doing excellent in terms of grades (and social life in college) but they did not have the same high school experience I had 30 years ago at a public high school where my social life came first and I still wound up at a great school. But times have changed and things are so much more competitive these days.

[Anonymous]

I think it definitely is possible at most of the privates. But, also, a lot of it depends on the kid.

I have two girls that went through the same private school. DD 1 seemed to always be doing work. DD 2 doesn’t do nearly as much. This could be because of COVID and change when DD 2 starts taking more advanced classes, but they take pretty similar classes with many of the same teachers.

DD 1 is the type to take as long as she is given and over study. DD 2 is not like that. DD 2 is much more likely to finish quickly then go see friends. They both get similar grades.

[Anonymous]

A lot is KID dependent.

My kids always have gotten straight As fairly easily (yes they study, but it isn't enough to affect participation in sports or social life).

They are at a private HS. They have always scored high on standardized tests with almost no prep. They have fantastic memories and retain info, can analyze and summarize very quickly---just like their parents.

I was (and am) the same. I was a STEM major-athlete that partied a lot in college to the amazement of friends. AT a job where everyone had to do involuntary overtime to stay afloat...I was out the door at 5pm and more productive. My work colleague (former college roommate) would spend hours trying to do the same. Her boyfriend used to ask why it was so hard for her and easy for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that Stone Ridge is very supportive of their students having outside sports and activities. Our DD have never had an issue leaving school early or missing a day of school for a club sport competition, as long as we notified the school ahead of time. Teachers have always been supportive allowing the students to make up work or tests thay were missed on those days. SR has a “whole child” approach to their education: growing mind, body, and spirit.

I can second this ... Our child is in SR MS. We haven't done much missing school besides medical appointments, but the block schedule/workload has felt balanced and our child says school is "fun" (the school day itself). I like looking forward to where I spend my day, and I'm glad she does as well .

SR is very different in high school, when students have to make choices about taking honors and AP courses. It is very competitive for students who are looking for that. You could also take the less rigorous route and not take any AP courses, but that would hamper college admissions choices.

+1 my daughter studies all the time. I see kids from other private high schools who seem to not be as stressed.

A perfect example of trying to balance rigor and school spirit is when the girls at SR attend games with their laptops open. We saw this during a visit to the school and decided this was the place for my academically motivated daughter.

if a girl feels like she needs to open her laptop and get work done while she is at a game, that sounds awful to me. to each her own I guess.

depends how many games I guess? I am not very sporty and find games boring... I could see them as an opportunity to enjoy the highlights and also read/catch up on tasks. Saying this as an adult, not a student.

It was a show of support to her friends on the team during what I understood to be senior day. I am sure if students had exams or papers due, they felt the need to multi-task. Otherwise they probably would have had to skip the game. I find it positive that students don't feel inhibited to open their laptops in the bleachers.

[Anonymous]

Obviously it depends on the student's processing speed and executive function.
It's the RARE kid who is so efficient that they can do it all without stress. Most feel at least a little stress.

[Anonymous]

This is why I am happy with Field.

[Anonymous]

Well, that’s nice if you have a kid who can finish near the top of the class at any of these top schools while taking the most rigorous classes and being a serious (recruited) athlete, all without a lot of stress. I thought I had a kid who could pull that off, and he did not come close. He met this description freshman year, but not soph, junior, senior. Tons of stress the last three years, always working, although did have some social life.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it depends on the kid and the friend group. I have 2 recent SR grads. They were not stressed in high school and had a great social life. I think the block schedule helped a lot. They learned to be efficient and did very well- definitely not perfectionists. College is harder, due to their majors, but they are doing very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there any area privates that allow kids to have both? Can your DC really have a challenging curriculum and do multiple sports and have a social life outside school?

Children in this area, particularly in private, seem to be so over scheduled and stressed out.

Love how you want "academic rigor" plus you want your kid to have a life and let me guess, you also want them to get into an ivy or a top 20 college too. Life doesn't work like that. Just go to Bullis where your kid will definitely have a life. Probably no academic rigor and if you are a legacy they might still get into a top school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that Stone Ridge is very supportive of their students having outside sports and activities. Our DD have never had an issue leaving school early or missing a day of school for a club sport competition, as long as we notified the school ahead of time. Teachers have always been supportive allowing the students to make up work or tests thay were missed on those days. SR has a “whole child” approach to their education: growing mind, body, and spirit.

I can second this ... Our child is in SR MS. We haven't done much missing school besides medical appointments, but the block schedule/workload has felt balanced and our child says school is "fun" (the school day itself). I like looking forward to where I spend my day, and I'm glad she does as well .

SR is very different in high school, when students have to make choices about taking honors and AP courses. It is very competitive for students who are looking for that. You could also take the less rigorous route and not take any AP courses, but that would hamper college admissions choices.

+1 my daughter studies all the time. I see kids from other private high schools who seem to not be as stressed.

A perfect example of trying to balance rigor and school spirit is when the girls at SR attend games with their laptops open. We saw this during a visit to the school and decided this was the place for my academically motivated daughter.

This is a dumb reason to pick a school - that the girls feel so much academic pressure that they watched a game while tethered to their laptops. Oh, great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally worry about girls schools being too academically focused because girls often have a tendency to be perfectionists. Girls already outnumber boys in college. I imagine any competitive girls school will have an academically intense environment.

Umm, let me guess, you are a "stay at home mom" - an unemployed woman with nothing to do but fret about what life *might* be like in the big scary world beyond your kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of any capable, high-achieving high school student who ISN'T stressed-out. In public or private, for that matter! It's not a function of the school, it's a function of the student's and their family's awareness that it's difficult to find the "best-fit" college, and it's challenging to juggle academics with extra-curriculars. That's all. Then they get into college and feel better.

Actually, I'll go even further: if you're not at least a little stressed out and aware of the challenges in high school, you're likely to be more stressed out in college, because it won't be the right one, or you're not entirely prepared for it. The ones who work really hard in high school towards their goals and find the right college for themselves, tend to be the ones who can relax a little once they get there, because they're highly prepared and they've made sure to select the best fit.

This. I don't know how often I have heard, at least from all girls schools like NCS, Holton and Visi, that college was a cake walk due to their high school preparation.