My CS is less than 10% of the other parent’s income but!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College is 30K a year, in-state. Some private unis cost nearly 100K a year. That's total cost of attendance, room, board, tuition, fees, etc.

So... by the time your kid goes to college, it will be an astronomical sum.

Please bear this in mind. Maybe keeping the peace isn't such a bad idea. Did all his family go to college and does he attach great importance to it?

I understand that you didn't fight for child support, OP, but why in God's name didn't you insist that your EX pays for your son's college tuition???

I don't care what else you had going in on your life at the time that was emotionally draining, the ONE point of contention that you should NOT have backed down on was college tuition!

Did you even have a divorce attorney, because it sounds like they were highly ineffective when working out your divorce decree.

You needed to buck up at the time, put all of your emotional drama on hold, and FIGHT for your son's future.
I'm not understanding how you let him off the hook completely when it came to ensuring your child's future was locked in??

Too tired to fight for yourself? Fine.
Too tired to fight for your son? NEVER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College is 30K a year, in-state. Some private unis cost nearly 100K a year. That's total cost of attendance, room, board, tuition, fees, etc.

So... by the time your kid goes to college, it will be an astronomical sum.

Please bear this in mind. Maybe keeping the peace isn't such a bad idea. Did all his family go to college and does he attach great importance to it?

I understand that you didn't fight for child support, OP, but why in God's name didn't you insist that your EX pays for your son's college tuition???

I don't care what else you had going in on your life at the time that was emotionally draining, the ONE point of contention that you should NOT have backed down on was college tuition!

Did you even have a divorce attorney, because it sounds like they were highly ineffective when working out your divorce decree.

You needed to buck up at the time, put all of your emotional drama on hold, and FIGHT for your son's future.
I'm not understanding how you let him off the hook completely when it came to ensuring your child's future was locked in??

Too tired to fight for yourself? Fine.
Too tired to fight for your son? NEVER.

Child is an adult. Parents are not required to pay for college. Op income may be higher.

[Anonymous]

What is your plan for college? Ask him to fund a 529 and explain that his dads income will affect his financial aid options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College is 30K a year, in-state. Some private unis cost nearly 100K a year. That's total cost of attendance, room, board, tuition, fees, etc.

So... by the time your kid goes to college, it will be an astronomical sum.

Please bear this in mind. Maybe keeping the peace isn't such a bad idea. Did all his family go to college and does he attach great importance to it?

I understand that you didn't fight for child support, OP, but why in God's name didn't you insist that your EX pays for your son's college tuition???

I don't care what else you had going in on your life at the time that was emotionally draining, the ONE point of contention that you should NOT have backed down on was college tuition!

Did you even have a divorce attorney, because it sounds like they were highly ineffective when working out your divorce decree.

You needed to buck up at the time, put all of your emotional drama on hold, and FIGHT for your son's future.
I'm not understanding how you let him off the hook completely when it came to ensuring your child's future was locked in??

Too tired to fight for yourself? Fine.
Too tired to fight for your son? NEVER.

I'm not the OP, but in Virginia the courts cannot order a parent to pay college costs. If your spouse agrees to pay, it can be included in the agreement. I was only able to put in that the parent will supply any information needed for the FAFSA or other college application reasons.

The rules vary greatly by state.

[Anonymous]

Keep the peace.

A son's relationship with father is very important. Maybe more than we as moms can understand. Let them have it. It's just a few more years. Dad is more involved than many others. Be grateful.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar situation and have chosen to keep the peace.

I think it has probably been a mistake. He constantly accuses me of subsidizing my life just bc he is paying the amount specified in our support agreement. Never paid what he owed me for child care, at settlement, for my reduced income during COVID, or for his increased income now. Says if I don’t move close to him he will stop paying for my choices if private school and summer camp. Does take the child for about 5 weeks (in total not consecutively) during the summer but otherwise does not use all his time.

[Anonymous]

Op probably did not get a lot of child support with a high income and time share.