Kid hang out in the night at Washington DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 20-year-old college student is home on winter break from college. He goes out almost every night around 9pm and doesn't come home until who knows when. I do not wait up for him, and I don't wake him in the morning.

Do I like this? No, I don't. I didn't allow this when he was in high school--he always had a curfew, and I always waited up for him. But he's an adult now. And as long as he is not driving while under the influence, or exhibiting signs of drug/alcohol addiction or mental health issues, or negatively affecting my life (e.g., by waking me when he comes or leaving me without a car when I need it, etc), I treat him like an adult. Mostly, LOL--I do occasionally subject him to brief lectures about the importance of good sleep habits, etc. He's a good student with excellent grades.

--sorry, hit submit too soon: He generally gives us no problems and is reasonably helpful.

[Anonymous]

This is very common and normal, especially for a weekend night(Friday or Saturday)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi,

My son hang out in the night at Washington DC until early morning 9 (3 am or 4 am).(once a week or so) He is 23 and working in DC. He is still completing his undergrad. Is this normal for his age kid to do these.
I worried about his habits and well being. He presently stay with us. How do we control this behavior?

"Kid"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi,

My son hang out in the night at Washington DC until early morning 9 (3 am or 4 am).(once a week or so) He is 23 and working in DC. He is still completing his undergrad. Is this normal for his age kid to do these.
I worried about his habits and well being. He presently stay with us. How do we control this behavior?

Have a calm conversation about why he doesn't see it as unsafe and unhealthy. Not to enforce but just to give some food for thought.

Eventually, he'll grow out of it. As highschoolers, mine thought midnight curfew was unfair, in their mid 20's, they say it was very wise and they themselves try to abide by it.

[Anonymous]

What is he doing? Is he drunk? Where is he?

[Anonymous]

When I was in college and living at home I go out to clubs to 2-4 am 1-2 nights a week.

My mom was not paying for college she was charging me rent I had my own car.

In summer I had a job 4pm to 1145 pm and often go to clubs 3-5 nights a week.

You do realize as a straight male single hit girls are in clubs mainly from 11pm to 2 am. I was going to meet girls plus I had tons of make friends I meet at clubs. I went by myself most nights. I was pretty broke so only have 1-2 drinks and usually paid no cover as a regular.

I did this this around 30 when I aged out then I got engaged not long afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Awaken him every morning at 5 am, household chores, even weekends. He can retire at whatever time he chooses, but 5 am he must rise.

[Anonymous]

Awaken him every morning at 5 am, household chores, even weekends. He can retire at whatever time he chooses, but 5 am he must rise.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

OP, apologies if this is an incorrect assumption, but it seems like you may come from a culture where this isn’t a rite of passage. My family was similar and would have panicked if I did this. If he’s productive at school, nice to you and helpful when home, I would not focus on this. Make sure he knows not to drink and drive etc. If you think he has some sort of alcohol or drug problem, that’s another thing entirely. (Of course, my family would have thought that the fact that I drank at all was an alcohol problem.) Good luck! It is hard raising kids in a culture that’s so different from your own.

[Anonymous]

23 is an adult. There is nothing wrong with what he is doing. There are approaches you can employ to redirect your focus and thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Umm totally normal. You should be thankful he has a social life

[Anonymous]

OP, just try to make sure he's not driving drunk. Encourage him to use Uber or something.

A 23yo getting drunk with friends is 100% normal. I miss those days!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm totally normal. You should be thankful he has a social life

This is very true re: reason to be thankful. — friendships are enjoyable and social networks will get him through life.

[Anonymous]

He's 23, leave him alone bro