It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now. |
We are in a similar situation and really sad about it - though definitely not suicidal about it. I've always lived below my means. Now I so regret not stretching for places that were priced somewhat higher than the numbers I had in mind but that we really could have afforded. Now we are looking at paying even more for houses not nearly as nice. |
I know you're right. There is nowhere I can afford that I have any desire to buy or live. But I know that in a couple of years event eh places I don't want to live will be unaffordable. |
Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment. |
What is your plan now? Buy somewhere you don't really want to? |
If they have a roof over their heads now, then you're doing fine. |
I guess. But I won't be happy. |
Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown. |
I'm a second-time buyer and I am depressed too. Current home is a condo, has not appreciated much but everything else has, and our equity will not make up the gap.
We thought we were being practical buying a condo as first-time buyers because it was well within our budget and close in, which has saved us a lot of money on commuting over the years. And we have saved the difference in what we might have paid for a house if that's what we'd bought. But neither our appreciation nor our savings (nor our incomes) can keep up with the appreciation in houses over the last 7/8 years. We either have to accept that we're raising kids in a small condo with bad IB schools, or make the big jump to a lower COL area. I guess it's better to have these two options than no options, but it's still disappointing. Especially when peers who only spent maybe 50-80k more (back when borrowing money was cheaper than it is now) are sitting on way more appreciation and have way more options. Our mistake was underbuying and being overly conservative about debt. It's a tough thing to reconcile. |
Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable. |
If it makes you feel any better, I own 11 houses in NW DC. I stretched to buy all of them. Now all are up 50-60% in equity and I refinanced down rates in the low 3’s. Just buy the house you can afford now- stop hand wringing and feeling sorry for yourself. |
What kind of monster are you? How is what you did, which is obviously impossible to repeat now, in any way helpful to OP at this time? |
Don’t beat yourself up pp. Hindsight is 20/20. If you’d overbought and then you or spouse lost your job or experienced some financial crisis you’d have major regrets then too. |
Pretty similar here. I have lots saved up, and despite my current property not appreciating much, I have paid off most of the mortgage. Strongly considering overbuying this time around. My career is stable, and at least I'll hopefully get something I like. It seems like stretching to afford the place you want is frowned upon on this board, but people who have done it in the past are now way ahead of me. |
You clearly deeply love your kids. Those would be nice things to be able to give them. They need your love and presence in their life more than any of those things, though. |