Is anyone under 35 without a rich mommy and daddy be able to buy a good house?

[Anonymous]

I'm just so frustrated. I don't want to live out in the boonies, I don't want to live in a crappy neighborhood. But I'm too young to have bought before the housing boom (when most people over 35 or 40 made big nest eggs that have allowed them to trade up and get bigger houses and/or drive up prices in desirable neighborhoods and school districts).

Despite having worked and saved for almost ten years, and having gone back to school to get better degrees with the hopes of future earnings increases, my husband and I can't afford anything over 440K. We really scrimped (live in a tiny, crappy apt) and saved 100K. For what? Seems like good school districts have houses starting at 600-700K. If you're willing to live way out or in a marginal school district, sure you can get a house with that down, but then you're stuck with so-so schools (or worse) and a long commute. We're in Arlington right now and love it so much. But I can't imagine being able to afford to buy a house here.

Sorry, I'm moping. It's just I'm not a spring chicken anymore, and can't wait for the market to cool more (we're expecting, which is a blessing for us!). I'm just frustrated that people 5-10 years older than me are much more comfortable because they lucked into a market on the way up and then pulled the equity in their homes to trade up while the trading was good. Perhaps also fueling my sad feelings is that I come from an area, out-of-state, where beautiful homes are 200K (and many of my friends own). The economy is ok in this other area, but moving there's not an option (and I love the DC area).

Boo hoo, right? Can someone else who's been there (no help from rich parents, hard-working young-but-not-too-young professionals, struggled to find a good home in a good neighborhood) sympathize and tell me it gets better? Since I come from a much lower cost-of-living place, and it's hard to get good advice from my family, who don't understand how expensive this area can be. So many of my friends have rich parents or are older and bought before prices exploded, so I can't commiserate with them, either...

Feel free to tear me apart. I just hope someone reading this has been there and wants to share how they did it in a big-sisterly (big-brotherly) way.

Thanks ladies and gents!

[Anonymous]

I'm 37 and living in a 2BR condo in Arlington with my DH, DD and #2 on the way. It seems like there is no way we will ever be able to afford even a townhouse unless we move out to Loudon county or somewhere else equally far from our jobs. I can definitely commiserate with you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Yes. No inheritance, help or $ from the boom.

First house in NW was bought in 2005 at height of boom with our own Hard-earned savings--we were 34.

2nd house bought 2010 without selling first one. Also from saving and being frugal.

We were married and pooling income for 7 years prior to having kids--that helped.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- thanks PPs! You are making me feel like there are other people out there who have done it or who are trying to make it happen like us. I guess we will just keep chugging along and try not to get frustrated. It's hard, sometimes (boy do I ever envy my friends with trust funds! Ugh, I tell myself I have "more perspective" because I had to earn everything myself, but that's just sour grapes! ).

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I know it's tough. We bought what we thought would be our "starter" home in the crappier part of FC (FFX County) in 2004. Schools were not an issue b/c we had no kids at the time and were only planning on staying 5 years max. FF to today, 2 kids, the oldest is starting K in the fall and we're stuck. We like our house and it's close in, but the neighborhood is still not the best and the schools marginal. We're vacillating between selling our house at a net loss and really stretch financially for the next 4-5 years to move into a great school district, looking into some less expensive private options or sending the kids to the local public and hoping that being very involved parents that provide extra enrichment activities will counteract the fact that the schools are not top-tier. It's a tough choice, and it's just the way things are for now.

[Anonymous]

Wait it out, OP. I refuse to think there are that many spoiled brats who are helpless without mommy and daddy. We have parents who are more than able to help but did not. Are they really doing you any favors by giving/lending you the money? Look around.

Your first house is not going to be your dreamhouse, BTW. What some of us know about is sacrifice. I would not really worry about the neighborhood/high school until impressionable teen years. By then you will be able to move up.

We have to have been fortunate about the market timing, but you can be too.

In the meantime, keep scrimping and saving.

[Anonymous]

We did - early 30s at the time, and we bought at the height of the housing boom (when we were getting out bid regularly by people who were dropping 70-100K down payments).

It honestly took us close to a year of actively looking (like going to to actually see houses a few times a month constantly perusing the weekly new listings, etc) and we were disappointed OFTEN. Finally the stars aligned and we got a house that was "as advertised" in the price range we had a pre-approved mortgage for, with an owner who didn't hold out for a "better" offer.

Long story short, it took lots of time and effort and patience, but it's definitely possible and it wound up wonderfully for us.

Good Luck!

Laura

[Anonymous]

I am 31 and my husband is 32. We did luck into a good downpayment from a condominium my husband got RIGHT before the boom hit. Honestly, it was such a good price that it never fell and the people who got it from us didn't lose any money when they sold (they, BTW, bought it with cash from her Father ($270K!)).

To tell the truth, it wouldn't have mattered really. The house we bought went down nearly as much as the condo went up. We live in Gaithersburg....I don't know if that qualifies as "the boonies" to you, but we like it here. The suburbs aren't so bad!

[Anonymous]

We brought a house in Old Town Alexandria for $500K with no help. The school district is bad, but since we only have one kid, and only plan to ever have one kid, we will pay for Catholic or, if necessary, private school.

[Anonymous]

I'd have more sympathy if you hadn't mentioned 440K. My house is worth 450K and it's an awesome neighborhood, no more near the boonies. Awesome elem. schools, we will deal with middle school years from now (may have to move but will have lived in the house for several years).

440 is a lot of money for a house. Buy a nice townhouse, or rent. Buying isn't the American Dream investment it used to be and it's not the end all be all.

[Anonymous]

Don't make assumptions that people over 40 "lucked out" with the pre-boom prices. We didn't and could never, ever buy in the DC area no matter how much we saved or how "easy" our loan officer was at the time.
Flash forward from being 35 to being 41. We got better jobs, were able to save and are closing on a house in January with less than 20% down with an FHA loan in an Arlington neighborhood that has good schools for a house at 450k. Single Family. It can happen. You need a good buyer's agent and a good finance person. 100K is a lot of money! There's no reason why you couldn't find something in Arlington. Also, remember you can always make a lower offer so should look at houses a little above your price point. Many sellers will pay closing costs these days...

[Anonymous]

We were only able to buy a great first house b/c I'm a lawyer and received a clerkship bonus when I joined a firm. I wonder if in today's housing market it would be worth talking to a real estate agent about finding a seller who would be motivated to help with financing?? I have heard that people are going to great lengths these days to sell their houses, and it would be good to find a creative way to capitalize on that.

[Anonymous]

We're in the same boat. We've saved $75,000 and are going to be able to spend $425,000 max for a home. We have one child and plan to probably have a second. There aren't a lot of options with good public schools. We're going to look in the Burke/West Springfield area. We also considered Silver Spring and the true "boonies" Crofton, MD. We feel like Burke/Springfield is the best long term decision for us in terms of schools and general feel of the area.

It is frustrating though. I grew up outside Chicago and it can get expensive there but NOTHING like it is here.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are 34 and we bought our current home two years ago for $600k. We live in Vienna and I'm not sure if you consider that the boonies.

We bought our first home when we were both 25 with 5% down (this was 2001) with no help from our parents, but we were in a lower cost of living area.

We both got Masters degrees, so we only worked for one year before buying our first home. Times were different then, so we didn't need a huge down payment and we were thrifty with our purchase. We didn't buy the biggest we could afford (I remember that we were approved for $250k and we spend $170k). When we sold that house in 2008, we made enough money to put 20% down on our current house.

Good luck, OP. I don't think home ownership is the be-all end-all that many people make it out to be. Find an apartment that you like with nice amenities and try to be content with the fact that you have a nice, safe home for your child.

[Anonymous]

We bought in early 2003 when we were 26/27 with no help from parents. We bought in Old Town in a great school district and renovated the house after saving more money. We now want to move out a little and after investigating our options, decided to rent out our place instead of sell (we would make some $$$ off of it, but we can rent instead of sell so why not). We have about $150-200k for a down payment and have a contract on a $1.0 million house. Again, no family help. It helps that I'm a pretty successful attorney with no school debt, but what really makes the difference is that my husband is brilliant and doing great in IT. But honestly, we both worked our asses off before having kids, still occasionally work long hours even with having young kids, and made a smart investment decision on our first place (lots of rental potential / bought at a good price in a great area with a great elementary school) and don't spend too much on things we don't need.

As for this area being expensive...I don't know. I've lived overseas and if you really want expensive, try moving to Europe. People complain so much here b/c our expectations are so off.