breastfeeding angst

[Anonymous]

New baby is a week old and I'm having a hell of a time with breastfeeding. It's painful, my nipples are raw and bleed occasionally and DS is not a great latcher (although by the assessment of the lactation consultant at the hospital, he's latching correctly). I don't understand how everybody touts this as the *best thing ever* -- I've only ever had pain. I tried to BF my older DD and not only had all the same nipple issues (plus mastitis -- fun), but also had supply problems so I was pumping each session as well as supplementing (and had seen multiple lactation consultants to figure all this out). That went on for five months and DD gave up on BF (and I was secretly relieved because it was so painful and time consuming). I've started supplementing with my new one as well since he's not satisfied with the little I can produce right now. UGH! If I didn't feel horribly guilty I'd be using formula.

That's all -- thanks for letting me vent! (DH is pro-formula so I can't really vent to him).

[Anonymous]

Your nipples should toughen up. *should*

[Anonymous]

I think you should just try to get through another week and then reevaluate (and then another and another, if you can). I found it got so much easier after the first month or so.

[Anonymous]

I was in the same boat with #1 but gave up after 3 months. No pregnant with #2 and have already decided that if it's not working the second time around, I will switch to formula. I don't need to go through THAT misery again!!!

[Anonymous]

I tried breastfeeding. It was not right for me or my LO. I had a consultation with the Lactation Center and it helped, but it didn't resolve the incredible pain (like you it was painful, I had blasts, an infection, then uneven sized breasts so that the bras rubbed or aggregavated the nipples) and I let it peter out and supplemented. You know? For me, it was a great decision. My son is happy, thriving, my DH got to be a "full service daddy" as he calls it, and they are incredibly close.

So, there's no downside here. Do what is right for you.

[Anonymous]

I wish that I had lost the guilt and formula fed! My baby is 6 months old now and EBF. It was a rough rough breastfeeding start. I was so damn determined to spite the bitch LC who told me that I wouldn't persevere. Well, I created a breast only baby and it sucks. No bottles, and he really isn't into solids either it mama or nothing 24/7. And you know what, next time I am formula feeding. I felt so much pressure "breast is best" "give it 6 weeks" etc... I have the confidence now that I can bottle feed and not look back. Seriously. Another mom in my neighborhood had problems, and instead of making herself insane, she just switched. The kid is doing awesome. I am so envious, she can go out to exercise or get a haircut. Her baby is beautiful and healthy. Line them up and no one could say which was fed which way, but line up the mommies and you can see which is able to leave the house for a haircut! BTW, my husband was FF, he's a college professor!

[Anonymous]

Sorry about the guilt because without it, it sounds like you could be a happy FF since your DH is pro-formula. I love BFing because it didn't come hard for us (many other things did, and I feel guilty for not handling them the way I'd planned), but could I ask how many of us it would take to tell you to just do what will enable you to feed your child with pleasure and a genuine, loving smile (not a grimace!) in order for you to stop feeling guilty giving the formula? Five months of this last time-- you must have SO hoped it would be different this time and be disappointed...as my mom has told me when I'm crying about things I feel I've done wrong, "Your baby isn't judging you-- move on..." ENJOY your precious precious one (or try not to feel guilty about not always enjoying having a newborn ).

[Anonymous]

If you want to quit, its ok. Really.

If you don't want to quit, a week or two can make a really really big difference a lot of the time.

Consider nipple shields.

[Anonymous]

Sounds very similar to the problems I had with my first. I was miserable for 4 months of extremely painful pumping before I gave up (after a while I gave up nursing because it was so intensely painful despite 4 lactation consultants telling me he was latching correctly.) My second is about a month old and I started with all the same problems. Before I quit and went with formula which my husband wanted, I tried Pat Shelly at the Breastfeeding Center because she had been so highly recommended here. I admit I was a little skeptical because so many lactation consultants couldn't figure out what was wrong so I figured, what was she really going to say differently. I went to her about a week ago and she recommended all sorts of things that no one had suggested. Again, I was very skeptical but they made an almost immediate difference and I'm almost pain free now. While we still supplement a couple of bottles a day, I can't tell you how much better I feel. I realize now that the pain and discomfort were totally overshadowing my time with my newborn. So...you shouldn't feel any guilt about quitting breastfeeding or supplementing but I highly recommend making an appointment with her to see if you can figure out what's going on!

[Anonymous]

Sympathy from here. I had the same - blisters, bleeding, excrutiating pain, mastitis. It just all seems so unnatural. But they really did toughen up after a few weeks and it actually became enjoyable by 1 month. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Consider nipple shields.

DO THIS! I called them my little sombreros and they are the ONLY reason I made it past the first 2 weeks. By the time I got home from the hospital, my nipples were blistered, bleeding and when baby would cry, I would start crying, too, anticipating the pain-- the pain was WORSE than my c-section and broke through the Percocet I was on. The shields allowed my nipples to heal and also made baby learn what it felt like to take in more of the areola with the nipple. I also spent alot of time topless to allow as much air on my breasts as possible to promote healing. We successfully nursed for a year after our disastrous start. I never thought I would have made it. BTW, I got "fitted" for the shields by the lactation consultant at the pediatricians office b/c there are different sizes.

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?sku=14987657&utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=shopping

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2403234&CAWELAID=234104404

[Anonymous]

Lose the guilt. EspeciallY since you don't have the time right now to do all you did for #1 with #2, assuming she's doing normal toddler things and not letting yoU stop for a second. Your DH is probably pro-formula because he saw how nuts the BF and pumping made you with #1. Be a happy mommy and do what's beSt for the whole family. If you want to give it another week, go for it, but if you must supplement to keep your sanity, then no one, least of all you, should blink. BF should not = martyrdom.

[Anonymous]

Nipple shields and a new LC who can provide a different perspective. That's what worked for me.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who said to give it 1 more week...plus the nipple shield suggestion (under the supervision of a LC). It does get better for some women. Next week, take step back and ask yourself if you are missing out on this miraculous slice of your baby's life by trying to BF. If you are, and you aren't enjoying it...stop! Who is making you feel guilty? Is the pressure internal or external? You can and will be a wonderful mother despite your ability or desire to BF!

[Anonymous]

OP here -- Thanks all. I almost cried when I read these posts. I'm so glad other people feel the way I do. I did make an appointment at the Breastfeeding Center for Thursday to see if they can help. But if they can't I'm going to lose the guilt and be happy. As one of the PP's said I'm sure it's not good for my son to hear me screaming "ouch" every time he tries to latch or change position, or see me wincing the entire time. When I supplement with a bottle he just happily stares into my eyes.