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Anonymous
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Ok, this is my first MIL rant on here. Background: My husband and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year as we have every year since 2007. My BIL's wife and their daughter are vegetarians. Of course I know this, as my BIL and his wife were married in 2005 and their daughter was born in 2007. I was highly annoyed by this email my MIL sent me over the weekend:
I just wanted to share that when I make stuffing/dressing now I use vegetable broth instead of turkey or chicken broth. Of course you should make yours any way you want, but using vegetable broth means there is one more dish that vegetarians can eat! (I am presuming you will be making stuffing which is my favorite part of the whole holiday meal. If not, I would be glad to bring some.) We are so looking forward to Thanksgiving at your house. Let us know when you decide what time you would like for us to appear. Love, XXX AHHH!!! Ok, I feel better now. |
Anonymous
Sorry, I don't see anything wrong with her email. She is sharing her method, acknowledging you can do what you want, and offering to bring stuffing if you like. Not sure what the problem is. |
Anonymous
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I agree with PP - she said you can make yours how you want... maybe a little annoying that she is trying to be "helpful" but she is making her suggestion in the least obnoxious way possible....
Ah the holidays! (FWIW, my MIL drives me insane by trying to hug me too much - also not a crime, but annoys the hell out of me) |
Anonymous
| oh honey... that was nice. be glad you arent dealing with a crazy pants inlaw. be advice - do not give that email a second thought. in fact id respond nicely and say something like "already thought about that - thanks! bringing dish x would help out, cant wait to see you!" |
Anonymous
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As a vegetarian, I would've really appreciated that if my MIL sent that email to my BIL/SIL! My SIL once very kindly made me a great navy bean soup b/c there wasn't anything else vegetarian for me to eat, and I watched in silence as she added beef stock to it (I ate it politely b/c she had made a nice effort and I couldn't bring myself to point it out).
BUT, I can also understand being (maybe irrationally) annoyed by in-laws too... |
Anonymous
| I can understand how this would grate on your nerves -- I'm the youngest in my family and everyone sends me these kind of "tips" that state the obvious. Try to laugh about it. |
Anonymous
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OP,
That's a sweet email. Gosh, you are quite the DIL! YOU POSTED YOUR MIL's EMAIL ON HERE. Does DH know? I pray I do not end up with a DIL like you. I'm calling bitch. |
Anonymous
| P.S. I am sorry I called bitch on this, it's posting her email that really crosses a line for me. Do you know how mortified she'd be if she found out? And how furious your husband would be? This is such a nice email from her. You do not know how lucky you are! |
Anonymous
| Stating the obvious is annoying. |
Anonymous
| OP here - I found the email very condescending. I am a 34-year-old who grew up in the DC area. I have plenty of vegetarian friends, and I've hosted this for the past few years. Does she not think I know how to make a dish vegetarian? In addition, we are a family with Southern roots, so we have more sides than you can count and this year, eight of them are vegetarian. Also, I always send my SIL a list of the vegetarian items ahead of time just to give her a heads up. Yes, my MIL loves her grandchildren and she is wonderful with them, but I get tired of her "helpfulness". |
Anonymous
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I have to side with the OP on this one. Sounds like my MIL. Passive-agressive while trying to be "helpful." It's tough to just grin and agree with her for the 110000 time.
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Anonymous
Ah, I see, growing up in the DC area somehow gives one special hosting powers and makes them a better DIL. Seriously, you made yourself sound rather stupid and pretentious. Please stop posting. |
Anonymous
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OP,
I totally feel the condesecion. As someone who also has a "wonderful MIL" who is incredibly passive-afgressive but not a bad/mean person, this kind of thing drives me crazy. Recently, we invited MIL to go to the playground with us and DD (2 yrs.) She said "I'd love to go but I cant bear to see DD fall down." Of course, she told DH not to tell me she said that. DD is 2 and likes to run and climb and sometimes falls down. Her statement, while seemingly innocent, really meant: 1) you are a bad parent bc DD falls down 2) I love her more bc it bothers me when she falls down and you dont care 3) There is something wrong with her that she falls down so often and you dont care, and 4) Now I dont have to get off the couch but I still seem like an amazing loving grandmother. Perhaps I am overeacting to her, but when you get these types of condescending, guilt-filled, passive-aggressive statements on a regular basis, they can be quite infuriating. |
Anonymous
Ya think? |
Anonymous
| My response would have been - You are so sweet. We would love to take you up on your offer to bring stuffing. Hell, one less thing on my list. |