Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

Read the thread. No one recommended that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

Read the thread. No one recommended that.

DP - then how else does she keep tenure? You really think a department is willing to let someone go on sabbatical for 3-5 years? It’s usually 1 year every 7 years. Academia is competitive enough where they could find someone just as good who’s not going to be on leave for that long. I’ve seen some couples do long-term distance (even with kids) so I guess there’s always that option. But for someone already making 7 figures I have to wonder what’s the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

Read the thread. No one recommended that.

Read the previous post. The recommendation was for a lateral move. No way OP can take a multi year leave of absence and come back to her tenured position. The options are pretty much - move, long distance marriage or commute. OP can also try to negotiate a schedule where all teaching (double or triple load) is in one semester and the other semester is free. But if indeed op is tenured full professor then there are a lot of service responsibilities as well. There is no free lunch here

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone with a tenure who was able to have 4 kids that young, much less a woman.

If this is real, and dh is making tons of money, why not go to Europe and take a sabbatical for a year and then reevaluate how important the academic position is to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The obvious solution is to let him travel and you stay home with the kids.

Might lead to infidelity & divorce.

[Anonymous]

I’ve only skimmed through the entire thread, so I apologize if I’ve missed something or am repetitive.

I was a professor who gave up her job for DHs. But I did not have tenure and DH had been affected by the dot com crash in the early 2000’s. We ended up moving for an opportunity that gave him job security, excellent benefits, and a salary that was about 3X what I was making. It was absolutely the right decision for our family (I was pregnant with our oldest child at the time).

If I’d had tenure and he’d been earning 7 figures, I wouldn’t even have considered it. At that point he’s doing more than fine and I would not be sacrificing my career so he could “progress more”.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm not really seeing what the benefit of this move would be. As it stands, you have one spouse making almost 7 figures, and another one making a decent salary (even by DCUM standards!), but with a ton of job security. Why not just keep things the way they are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm not really seeing what the benefit of this move would be. As it stands, you have one spouse making almost 7 figures, and another one making a decent salary (even by DCUM standards!), but with a ton of job security. Why not just keep things the way they are?

Ego. What other kind of people try to climb the ladder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm not really seeing what the benefit of this move would be. As it stands, you have one spouse making almost 7 figures, and another one making a decent salary (even by DCUM standards!), but with a ton of job security. Why not just keep things the way they are?

Adding to this, even if you both decide to stay stateside in your current jobs, and DH's employer says "welp, you weren't ambitious enough to see this European opportunity through, so we're going to let you go," he presumably has some in-demand skills if he's making almost seven figures, plus you have your job to fall back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm not really seeing what the benefit of this move would be. As it stands, you have one spouse making almost 7 figures, and another one making a decent salary (even by DCUM standards!), but with a ton of job security. Why not just keep things the way they are?

OP here, thanks for the comment. DH needs to move because people in his particular role usually are expected to change position after 3-4ish years, usually to a P/L role internationally. If DH does not want to move, he will likely need to find a similar position in a different company, which can come with a host of other problems (e.g. may not be convenient location wise, the new role may also require him to move again after certain number of years etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only skimmed through the entire thread, so I apologize if I’ve missed something or am repetitive.

I was a professor who gave up her job for DHs. But I did not have tenure and DH had been affected by the dot com crash in the early 2000’s. We ended up moving for an opportunity that gave him job security, excellent benefits, and a salary that was about 3X what I was making. It was absolutely the right decision for our family (I was pregnant with our oldest child at the time).

If I’d had tenure and he’d been earning 7 figures, I wouldn’t even have considered it. At that point he’s doing more than fine and I would not be sacrificing my career so he could “progress more”.

Thank you for sharing your experience. For DH, the problem is complicated by the fact that people in his current role are usually not expected to stay there past 3-4ish year mark, so he will need to move one way or another even if he doesn't want to "progress more" (change role or may need to change company) unless he wants to go back down.

[Anonymous]

I’m not op but know someone in a similar position. I vote keep your job - do not make big changes there unless something is wrong with your job.

7 figures is enough. Your spouse is making more than enough right now and some kind of advancement is not going to make any of you happier in the long run.

What makes sense for your family unit, for your schedules and for having a nice time together? That’s what I’d probably do.

[Anonymous]

^^ oh and bank as much of that salary as you can. If you keep your spending low and save 3-4 years of most of your income, he’ll give himself a LOT more freedom and options when the 3-4 years are up.

[Anonymous]

OP, you both make enough money that you could travel on a weekly basis internationally if you wanted to. Stack your classes on Tuesday/Wednesday; spend thurs - Monday with your family. Call in sick once during the semester and teach remotely that week. Try to see if DH can choose a major international location that makes the flight bearable or has direct flights to your university. Agree with others to take that one year sabbatical to begin with so you can help get all the kids settled in the new country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm not really seeing what the benefit of this move would be. As it stands, you have one spouse making almost 7 figures, and another one making a decent salary (even by DCUM standards!), but with a ton of job security. Why not just keep things the way they are?

OP here, thanks for the comment. DH needs to move because people in his particular role usually are expected to change position after 3-4ish years, usually to a P/L role internationally. If DH does not want to move, he will likely need to find a similar position in a different company, which can come with a host of other problems (e.g. may not be convenient location wise, the new role may also require him to move again after certain number of years etc).

So here's my question for you OP; you mentioned that DH will be in this position abroad for 3-5 years. What happens after that? Is the goal for his experience abroad to lead him to other oppurtunities at his current employer? Or elsewhere?

All that said, I still think the best option is to stay where you both are. Is it possible for you to save very diligently some of the money that you're both making now for 1-2 years, and then if DH needs to take a job where he takes a salary cut, you'll have a decent cushion?