Ph.D. Mom - dissertation writing

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had experience with this?

The Berkeley Mom's Forum has some information, but frankly, the culture is different enough that I'd be interested in some local perspectives. With great affection, I recognize that this city is awash with terrific type-A moms. How about sharing some of the strategies you have found work best at keeping you high-functioning in very demanding circumstance? Yes, lawyer moms, I'm looking at you!

I have a magnificent infant, who is in child care; a loving partner; and an overwhelming amount of pressure and bullying expectations and piles and piles of work to do.

How do I best honor the commitments I've made as a mother, partner, and as an ambitious doctoral candidate? I'm tired of constantly feeling unproductive and exhausted.

Other moms may mourn their Sex in the City single selves, I miss the woman who could pull together and capably analyze and present vast amounts of information on a topic that held considerable meaning for her. Everyone seems to cut me a lot of slack, saying "but you had a baby!" I understand that and have no problem having added a year to my program for the privilege of being this little guy's mom. But, how do I now get back on track and stay there?

How do I best manage the interviewing schedule and travel for data collection? The writing stage? The space and time needed just to think things out?

[Anonymous]

http://chronicle.com/forums/
especially "Balancing Work and Life" and "Grad-School Life"'

Also, a writing group can help.

[Anonymous]

it's tough....I am trying to publish my dissertation and work full time in a non-academic, 9-6 pm job, teach a class on the side, and have a baby and a stepchild. All I can say is that my mind was child-focused for the first 6 months entirely, after that work began to reclaim some part of my brain; the problem now is finding the time. I try to devote 3 hours each sat and sunday to either preparing class or writing. But I've also let go of expectations that I'm going to produce as much as I used to be able to, or travel for a month at a time for research, like I used to do when my life was pretty much just about me. The only good thing that has come out of this pressure is that I am less perfectionist, and as a result my writing, in a strange way, is less labored and more fluid, since I don't have the time to be anxious about every sentence.

[Anonymous]

Does your department provide you with office space? If yes, use it rather than try to work from home. Lower your expectations--- get the degree done. Dissertations don't need to be perfect. Be frank with your committee... ie, say: "I want to defend by such and such a date, do you think this is reasonable?"

-Signed, current post doc

[Anonymous]

Here's what my Mom told me: "Just get it done. Be brilliant later. Just. Get. It. Done."

That was hard. The people on my committee were my intellectual hero's. I set a date, got everyone on-board, and good enough or not good enough, three weeks before that date, printed full document, made 6 copies and prayed.

I passed.

The publication that came from it was smarter, better, leaner...and frankly meant more professionally than that dreaded defense. I had already passed the intellectual tests with my committee, you forget that when you're staring down at the defense. They know what you're capable of.

Good luck. Just. Get. It. Done.

[Anonymous]

Once when I was in a real bind professionally and needed to get writing down, I got up at 5 am to write for an hour everyday. Dd, a baby at that time, somehow figured out I was getting up early and she started waking at 5:30, which made me desperate, but eventually she started sleeping in till 6 or 6:30. Just knowing I would work on a small piece every day helped and I would also plan out what I would address the next day before I finished my work that day.

Another thing I learned was not to try to work on my days at home with dd (dh and I switched off). I would spend 45 minutes trying to get everything taken care of in order to spend 5 minutes working and then I'd have to do another 45 minutes on child/house care for the next 5 minutes. I realized that I wasn't really enjoying my child and I also wasn't getting any substantive work done -- so I decided to not try to get in a little work while doing child care. Made me happier.

Last thing -- just remember that a dissertation is not a great book, it's a union card. It gets you entry into the profession but you keep on learning and developing and improving once you enter the profession. My dissertation is embarrassing -- but it's done!

[Anonymous]

You must switch from the marathon that is the dissertation, to multiple deadline-driven sprints.....stick to your deadlines, momentum is the key, excellence can come later....MOMENTUM is the key.....

You will get your brilliant brain back, you need some sleep and just a little more time. For now, just get this thing done. As PP says, be especially brilliant LATER and be productive and good-enough now...

I ran the economics of it..what it would cost to keep me in the data collection loop one more year PLUS absence of income...wrote the number on a sticky note (is was 58K at the time) and everytime I held myself up would say "OK , is this a 58K kind of hold up, or is there away around this...."

Good luck, many of us have done it and you can too...but the group that really understands how much inner-push this is gonna take is relatively small....

[Anonymous]

I'm now a professor mom, and I echo everything said here. Do not be a perfectionist. A good dissertation is a DONE dissertation. It helps to have your advisor on board with your plans--what does s/he say about how you should go about your dissertation? No one's dissertation gets published w/o heavy editing.

Do you have any other friends who are dissertating with young children? You might want to start a baby-sitting coop-type thing where you each get a nice chunk of time on a weekly basis to write. The other thing is to set goals for yourself/group. Even ONE page a day is a good day.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/How-Write-Lot-Practical-Productive/dp/1591477433/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282067721&sr=1-1

[Anonymous]

Some great advice here. I'm still in the thick of it but I would say it is key to find a writing group of some kind- colleagues in the same boat that you can bounce ideas off of, even if it is just via email, and set deadlines with them to get chunks of writing done. Also, figure out when you think clearest- at night, early in the morning, whatever- and carve out at least an hour each day to write, either before baby wakes up or after he/she goes to sleep. Make that hour sacred, no checking email, no dcum, just writing, every day.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the encouragement and the tips.

I've already noticed that I'm getting up ahead of DS and am thinking now that I may start doing this intentionally and with an eye on writing. Early morning is when I work best. Building this into my day should make a difference---certainly in how I feel.

The writing group is tougher, but I'll start looking.

Thanks again for the been-there-done-that. It means a lot to know that there's a cadre of folks out there who've already made this happen.

[Anonymous]

Carve out your time to work on your dissertation, and treat that time as inviolate. Do not make exceptions for doctor's appointments or any of the other little things that can creep in. If you need to work at a library because home is too distracting, go there religiously, rain or shine. Treat the diss like a job. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I had a hard enough time getting through mine long before I had my kids. Yikes--I hated it...I majorly procrastinated and pull it out just before the deadline. good luck!

[Anonymous]

just remember: Schnell not well!!!

[Anonymous]

Wow- thanks for the post! I've been struggling with this all year and it's helpful to see so many people have gotten through it.

I agree with the comments about expectations-- I have much better days when I say to myself that I'm NOT going to get any work done that day. I'm productive around the house and on other things, and then the next day I resume research as scheduled. I do not have child care, though, so I have to do my work while my son is napping.

I have also adopted the philosophy that this is not my master work- so it's time to just GET.IT.DONE. I went to meetup.com and met some other PhD students in the area-- we made a little writing group and gave one another assignments. Gave me something to strive for!