Adults who were third culture kids

[Anonymous]

What are the major advantages and disadvantages of growing up in multiple countries?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

[Anonymous]

multiple countries and also changing schools every year, parents "divorcing" every year, infidelity on both sides, drama daily...great for my job in mental health because you know -it feels like home LOL, however as PP said no sense of belonging, now live the counterpoint of my childhood, very boring life in DMV, insisted kids stay in same house from KG to college.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

+1. Another pro is that it can be easier to empathize with others because you have seen different perspectives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

This sums it up. Im an immigrant and came at 11 so it was a big shift but I'm still bilingual, bi cultural. Teaching my kids my native language. Dh is american but he's embraced it all and had been absorbed into my family and culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

This sums it up. Im an immigrant and came at 11 so it was a big shift but I'm still bilingual, bi cultural. Teaching my kids my native language. Dh is american but he's embraced it all and had been absorbed into my family and culture

Interesting. What is your native culture? Does your DH just have a super laid back personality or is he just really into your culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:multiple countries and also changing schools every year, parents "divorcing" every year, infidelity on both sides, drama daily...great for my job in mental health because you know -it feels like home LOL, however as PP said no sense of belonging, now live the counterpoint of my childhood, very boring life in DMV, insisted kids stay in same house from KG to college.....

This exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:multiple countries and also changing schools every year, parents "divorcing" every year, infidelity on both sides, drama daily...great for my job in mental health because you know -it feels like home LOL, however as PP said no sense of belonging, now live the counterpoint of my childhood, very boring life in DMV, insisted kids stay in same house from KG to college.....

This exactly.

NP that’s so funny because most of this is the same for me too

- Lived in 3 different countries
- Frequent school changes
- could make myself fit in everywhere but didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere
- Parents had marital issues (my dad probably had affairs but I just didn’t know about it)
-now I work as a psychologist!
- married a super stable man and my kids have been in same house from preschool to high school! Didn’t want them moving all the time like I did.

[Anonymous]

As a person growing up in same house, school and town. I always envied people who get to travel and live abroad. As a parent, did opposite and feel like my kids appreciate their experiences but also envy my kind of upbringing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:multiple countries and also changing schools every year, parents "divorcing" every year, infidelity on both sides, drama daily...great for my job in mental health because you know -it feels like home LOL, however as PP said no sense of belonging, now live the counterpoint of my childhood, very boring life in DMV, insisted kids stay in same house from KG to college.....

This exactly.

NP that’s so funny because most of this is the same for me too

- Lived in 3 different countries
- Frequent school changes
- could make myself fit in everywhere but didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere
- Parents had marital issues (my dad probably had affairs but I just didn’t know about it)
-now I work as a psychologist!
- married a super stable man and my kids have been in same house from preschool to high school! Didn’t want them moving all the time like I did.

11:48 here.
We need to be friends!

[Anonymous]

Lived in 3 countries before coming to the US as a young adult.

My husband comes from another culture than mine.

Between us there are multiple ethnicities, languages, religions, cuisines, etc.

Kids are American.

As others have said, it's easier to empathize and connect with people who are different. I am very adaptable.

Home is where my children are. When I was a kid, it was: home is where my parents are.
You cannot have a strong geographic belonging when you're an international person. The belonging is familial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

This is what I think too. I have an American and an Arab Parent. Grew up in N. Africa (went to a French school just to throw in another thing that made me different) and then in the US. I was the only kid at school who had a foreign name. I would at least try to live in a diverse place when you come back to the US. I really wouldn't change my childhood though. I have a much better understanding, or at least appreciation, of other cultures.

[Anonymous]

From birth to 11 I was in the UK
11-17 the US east coast
17-40 in the uk
40-57 in the US

you feel like you never quite belong anywhere fully

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

This is all true. I’m an adult raised by 1st gen Americans in another country they weren't from (south America). I feel keenly the sense of Other of all humans, of wishing to belong, and tend to side with the excluded, the underdog. I married someone with a similar background from the Middle East (third culture kid now an adult) and we have a lot in common on that front. Our kids are totally American kids and wish our background wasn’t so complicated. Sorry kiddos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lived in 3 countries before coming to the US as a young adult.

My husband comes from another culture than mine.

Between us there are multiple ethnicities, languages, religions, cuisines, etc.

Kids are American.

As others have said, it's easier to empathize and connect with people who are different. I am very adaptable.

Home is where my children are. When I was a kid, it was: home is where my parents are.
You cannot have a strong geographic belonging when you're an international person. The belonging is familial.

Wow so insightful. It’s true, my home is in my husband and our children.