Help me with mornings for my terrible sleeper

[Anonymous]

We do all the things to get my adhd 7.5 year old to sleep: no screens on weekdays, early-ish dinner, guafacine and melatonin, relaxing bath and then reading in bed, lights out by 8:15. Sometimes she falls asleep around 9 and other times around 12am. She often wakes in the night. We’ve experimented with no melatonin (takes until 12am to fall asleep) and more melatonin (more likely to wake up in the middle of the night). We’ve gone to the sleep specialist at Children’s. We’ve done all the things—relaxation exercises, meditation podcasts, etc I just can’t get my formerly ok sleeper to get enough sleep at night. As a result, our mornings are so frustrating.

Her alarm goes off at 7:30 for an 8:30 departure, so she has an hour to get ready. She sleeps right through the alarm no matter the volume, so I end up waking her up at 7:40. She’s totally exhausted, so my choices are to stand over her and nag/threaten her so that she eventually gets dressed or to dress her like a baby (her preference). We’ve done reward charts and it helps a bit while we are doing the chart but doesn’t carry over to when there’s no chart. She is exhausted and doesn’t care if we are late to school—all she wants to do is get back in bed and sleep. On weekends she often sleeps until 9:30/10, making up for lost sleep during the week.

Help!!! I feel like an awful parent when I dress my 7.5 year old like a baby and carry her to the bathroom but I also hate standing around and yelling at her. She’s not a bad kid but she’s just too tired to be helpful in the mornings, and I’m going bananas. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

I totally get you have done all the things for sleep. But I will say that my kid (albeit with a different diagnosis) takes A LOT more meds to sleep. She takes seroquel, tizanidine, mirtazipine, melatonin and doxypin.

Setting that aside, I would have her sleep in her school clothes so you don’t have to deal with getting dressed at all. And honestly, I would keep helping her a lot rather than yelling.

[Anonymous]

There’s no such thing as “making up” sleep. It doesn’t work that way.

[Anonymous]

What are her special needs?

[Anonymous]

Would it help to limit sleeping in on the weekends to keep a consistent schedule?

[Anonymous]

OP here. She has ADHD (mostly inattentive presentation).

She’s a hot sleeper so we can’t have her sleep in her clothes. She likes to sleep in underwear and a tank top but she wears jeans/leggings to school even when it’s hot because the AC in her classroom makes her class super cold.

She slept great as a baby and then, when we took her pacifiers away at 2.5 it was like a flip switched and her sleep became terrible and it still is!

[Anonymous]

You need a later bedtime. She’s not going at 8:15 so what is that helping. Try listening to meditation music. BUT and a huge huge but. Guanafcine is known to cause major sleep issues in about half the people who use it. Did to my kid. All was fine when we switched to clonidine. It’s not at all uncommon. Search the forum. And ask your doctor but they may poo poo you - know that several neurologists have confirmed it to me. It can be okay for a period and then BOOMM

[Anonymous]

Guanafacine was a huge stimulator for my kid. He could not take it before bed. And it would wake him up when it re-released.

[Anonymous]

I have an autistic kiddo whos had years of awful awful sleep. He didnt sleep through the night one time till 4 years two months. Anyway second grade we slipped into a similar pattern, did NOT fall asleep till midnight no matter what the medication/routine. And we tried it all. I ended up taking him to school at 10:30 for almost six months. He was so deprived he needed it. He solidly slept 1 am to 9:30 ish and i just took those months to inch it back 10/15 min when i could. He missed a morning special and one academic lesson that i just did that following night. Just letting you know i get how awful this can be!

[Anonymous]

Who is prescribing her meds? I agree with others to try replacing guanfacine with clonidine. And please help her instead of yelling at her -- she's doing her best and it's ok that she needs more help right now than other kids her age.

[Anonymous]

You aren't "dressing her like a baby." You are dressing her like the 7 year old, sleep deprived, exhausted, ADHD child she is. And that's ok.

[Anonymous]

My kid is also a naturally 10pm bedtime. If he starts ruminating it’s worse. What helps us a bit is an audiobook that is old and not exciting (like charlottes web) so he can slow his thoughts down. I am similar and one trick I learned was to force my brain to move onto the next thought like a word association game ie car, wheel, tire, circle, pizza and every time my brain want to stop at a word I force it to move on. It somehow tricks my brain out of ruminating and into sleep mode. But my kid hasn’t had luck with that, unfortunately.

Also being outside first thing (at 7:00 here) helps (in their pajamas). Here’s what I do I send him outside with a blanket to “check the weather” and decide if he wants pants or shorts. I leave him out there for at least five minutes. I know it seems crazy but it’s the best way for him to shrug off sleep. But I wouldn’t sweat the help with dressing thing.

I would cut back the weekend sleeping in til. 8:30 qt the latest. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for disaster each Monday.

I sympathize op good luck.

[Anonymous]

Go to bed later, sleep in clothes, and wake up later as well leaving 30-45 minutes not more for morning routine.

[Anonymous]

How much exercise is she getting?

I find that my kids sleep really well after practices. Summer swim team is sleep regulation heaven.

Also, I know it’s rough, but I would keep the schedule the same on weekends. She should wake up no later than 8 am until she’s more regulated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has ADHD (mostly inattentive presentation).

She’s a hot sleeper so we can’t have her sleep in her clothes. She likes to sleep in underwear and a tank top but she wears jeans/leggings to school even when it’s hot because the AC in her classroom makes her class super cold.

She slept great as a baby and then, when we took her pacifiers away at 2.5 it was like a flip switched and her sleep became terrible and it still is!

She does not have adhd.