Pull the plug on travel in favor of private training?

[Anonymous]

DS is 0 for 4 on U17 tryouts for various clubs in the area - mostly big clubs and one small. And recently shit the bed in his most recent tryout even after having practiced with the top 2 teams (out of 4) at the club. Seems like this is the end of the road for travel. His current club is hot garbage - disorganized, horrendous communication (when there actually is some), zero development (zero fall practices), abusive coaches (cursing and name calling at players on the field), mediocre players that think their hot shit, you name it. I refuse to pay them another cent.

As tryout season is ramping down, DS is going to be left without a team for the first time in 8 years. He's clearly not skilled/strong/fast enough for most top (MLSN, ECNL, ECRL) teams. But he's also better skilled than the majority of players on 3rd or 4th teams - joining one of them isn't going to help him. Add to this that he wants to make the JV team for his HS this fall. That looks unlikely, but he says it's important to him.

I've seen various posts on this forum over the years that have lauded getting private training in lieu of or in conjunction with travel. Can't see spending 1000s of $$$ on both a trainer and a team, so figure it is one or the other if he is going to prepare for HS tryouts this summer and possibly play beyond that. Maybe he makes another run at some other clubs.

Does anyone have experience with this - ditching travel in favor of private training? Did your DS/DD enjoy it? Did your DS/DD accomplish whatever goal they had set for themselves? Or was it just throwing more time & money down a hole?

Honestly, I have gone above and beyond for this kid and am frankly not seeing the return on investment in terms of his development and work ethic ("can I skip practice tomorrow - my legs are sore"). Kind of concerned that even with private training, the amount of improvement is going to be insufficient for him to achieve his goals. So could just be time for him to hang up the cleats permanently. How do you have that conversation with the kid? Clearly, I can't want this for him more than he does, and sometimes if feels that way.

[Anonymous]

Does he... want to play? Sounds like not. Let it go. Let him play school sports and have fun

[Anonymous]

Did he ask you for the private training? Or is this what you think he needs to become better? If this is what he wants to do and he knows the person he wants privates from, budget $500 and see how it goes. If he hasn't become more confident, learning things he didn't know were weak areas before, that private trainer isn't worth it.

How much training is he already doing on his own? Money spent on clubs, private training, etc is additive to what he does on his own.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like he may be being pushed beyond his comfort zone. I know you said he is more skilled than the “majority” of lower team players but there really is something to be said for being one of the stronger ones on an EDP team, for example. Life isn’t all MLSN and ECNL.

I’d give serious consideration to him being a star on a lower team and being happier. At some point it’s not worth it whether it’s drive or skill. It’s ultimately a sport that only a tiny number play beyond youth years. You don’t have many years left at u17.

[Anonymous]

OP- my U17 has been on top teams (ECNL). He gets ID'd at every tryout he's ever gone to and almost always makes the team. Like 2 out of 100 players taken.

This year he is SOL too. His team folded and rosters are FULL. There were 200 kids at the U17 tryout this week.

No idea. We are just waiting until the madness dies down and things shake out. Same thing happened to older sib who was injured junior year and went on to make a top MLS Next team Senior year and is playing in college next year.

Trying not to stress about it. It is highly frustrating when you do see they are demonstrably better than kids clubs won't cut for whatever reasons over the years and just keep carrying the same kids even with losing seasons.

[Anonymous]

Miss the good old days with Vista. When sh*t like this happened, you formed your own team and were able to compete and win against the best. There weren't barriers. Joga faced a sh*t ton of barriers and so did Barca when the clubs tried to block them from fields and leagues.

[Anonymous]

What area do you guys live in?

If your son was on a top ECNL team previously, it seems he would be a lock to make the JV team in HS without issue at all, especially if he will be a sophomore?

Regardless, sounds like he could use a break and or get on a program with a good friend to re-kindle that passion.

I'd second the opinion to get him on lower travel team and let him shine on that team, specially if you're locked out of the top teams.

A good private coach can motivate a player and work on certain skill sets... like agility and technical play. Honestly, they should also be able to give you a sense of his work ethic too. If the work ethic is lacking, that would indicate his motivation is low and it is time for a break from more serious soccer. But they can't analyze his game play if he's not on a team. You might run into a dead end or get a hard truth.

You could also try sports psychology and counseling...on its about $100 per session. They can give you a good assessment after the initial session. But be prepared for the hard sell of attending 6-10 sessions to help fix the mental problems. That might be more beneficial than the private training.

https://www.kidssportspsychology.com

Also, keep waiting, don't panic, something might shake out this summer!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here. THANK YOU EVERYONE! I wasn't sure if I should post on here but was feeling vulnerable and didn't really have anyone to talk with about the situation. Really appreciate everyone's perspectives. Every post has great points.

For the PP about playing on a lower team - definitely something that he should consider. DS hasn't played MLS Next or ECNL - his teams have been upper level EDP or USYS NL at smaller clubs where that was the top team. The fact he only has potentially 3 more years makes me well up a bit. He expressed a desire to play ECNL or RL or USYS NL with a different club so he wanted to tryout with clubs that offered those teams which is mostly bigger clubs. Fact may be he needs to accept a 2nd or 3rd team offer, if he gets one, and go from there.

PP about sports psychology - Thanks! I had not thought of that. Worth looking into. He very much has a love of the game and plays on a rec team with some of his elementary and middle school buddies that my DH coaches. He has a blast there and has very much enjoyed his travel teams until this year with this a-hole coach. We're in DC. He was not on a top ECNL team previously, and the competition at his HS is pretty intense. JV is not a lock.

PP with the U17 that is also SOL - thank you for sharing and hope things shake out well for you. Sounds like your DC will have some options. But, yeah, the lockdown on rosters and these bogus cattle call tryouts really is stressful.

I think we will try to relax for now, not worry about being on a team, and focus on training over the summer to see what sort of dedication he has. If anyone has a good coach they'd recommend would appreciate suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Is he rising u17? Or was he playing up? I’m confused since you mentioned he hopes to make his JV team. Anyway, if you are in MoCo and not focused on high level or prestige, check out Juventus. They play EDP. They are always looking for good players because as a small club it’s tough to get depth. My DS used to play there before moving to a more competitive club but we liked the coaching, kids and parents. At the older ages, it’s just tougher. I think it’s because teams start collapsing meaning fewer spots. A team might only be looking for a striker or a CB so most of the kids trying out are wasting time, even if they are skilled.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Rising U17 - played on freshman team last year after not getting selected for JV. That’s a good suggestion. Can’t argue with the brand. MoCo works for us. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Whatever tier or League or level he has been playing on, why don't you just look at one level below that? He's almost guaranteed to make one of those teams. They would love to have him because he's coming from a higher level.

[Anonymous]

I would look at a smaller club. He’ll get more hand holding and attention. It needs to be fun again. The tryouts must have been awful FOR HIM.

[Anonymous]

Soccer is not your kid's thing. If he wants to do it for just playing - great. But, he's been given ample opportunity to show he can play at top levels, and his work ethic sounds abysmal. Save the money...play in an environment close to free. You'll both enjoy it more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Miss the good old days with Vista. When sh*t like this happened, you formed your own team and were able to compete and win against the best. There weren't barriers. Joga faced a sh*t ton of barriers and so did Barca when the clubs tried to block them from fields and leagues.

Vista still exists.

[Anonymous]

Return on investment? Wow. Your son has been playing for how many years and you never saw this?