Should I homeschool dc?

[Anonymous]

I don't live local to this board so I'm not asking for any suggestions for local schools, since I live about 17 hrs away lol.

Dc is 9, finishing 3rd grade ,dx autism, at a small private school. Think church basement type school, it's not sn but she's also not the only sn kid there. She gets A's. I like the curriculum used and it's available in the homeschool market also.

She's asking to homeschool. She's been asking. She does have friends and her quirks are well tolerated. I think she just gets overwhelmed with all those other humans around. She's not happy. She's not even eating lunch or going to recess lately.

In my area, there are a few other church basement type schools, a few large church schools, our local zoned public (about 700 kids I think) and she would qualify for our county's GT academy, housed in a 1400 student school. People have told me to put her in there, but I've also heard other moms of kids with ASD have issues with the setting.

I work. So does her other parent. It would have to be an online school. There are many. Even the curriculum her school uses has its own homeschool program.

Has anyone else's dc around this age homeschooled, was it just for a while or did they graduate from homeschool? Were they able to socialize? Did they return to traditional school at some point?

[Anonymous]

I would try another school before I went to homeschool. It’s much better for kids all stripes to be in a school setting. It may be that the existing school was not the right fit. Maybe take her to visit a bunch of other schools and involve her in the process - speak to their administration about her specific issues and see if any feel like a good fit. If she cannot tolerate multiple schools then I would consider homeschooling but some of the schools may have accommodations that will help her

[Anonymous]

Have you spent time with homeschool kids?

And, are you going to home-employ DC too? Learning to deal with uncomfortable environments is a life skill. If your snowplow your kid to adulthood, don’t be surprised when they can’t deal in college, workplace, life.

[Anonymous]

Can she articulate what makes her unhappy?

[Anonymous]

How would you make it work if you both work? Who would watch her during the day and can you do a few hours a day of schoolwork?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can she articulate what makes her unhappy?

To some extent. Some of it I try to figure out based on what she's told other parent and my mom (who she is really close to). She was in therapy for the last 1.5 years but we actually had recently paused, as she didn't want to keep doing it. She agreed to restart but the therapist is trying to fit her in. I am taking her to our ped on Friday because I'm wondering if anxiety is now an issue and maybe she should see a pysch? I know as our asd kids get older, these things can come into play. She seems happy as far as our family's life, it's just school that is the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you make it work if you both work? Who would watch her during the day and can you do a few hours a day of schoolwork?

This is a concern. So, dad and I each have a weekday off. My mom (we'll call her GM) picks her up the other days. GM wants to help homeschool her-I never want to burden her with that, but we were talking and GM really wants to. She did help during Covid (as me and dad work in person only job) and it was using the same curriculum program that I might use again (it has streaming/dvd classes with a teacher and kids, plus you get the paper books and the teacher gives the assignment). GM has been relatively healthy, but those of us with elderly parents know how that can change and quickly.

If I didn't work, I would absolutely homeschool her-but I do work so I'm trying to think through all angles.

[Anonymous]

I’d homeschool, no question, but I’d probably go for a co-op type program to keep grandma on track with curriculum and give your daughter some access to peers and social situations. I’ve done classical conversations with students before and found it excellent. Parents supplement with other programs but the CC curriculum was great in many ways. My favorite part was the Latin curriculum, wish I’d had it as a child.

Overall I found that the best thing about the co-op structure was it kept parents on track as much as the kids. It also gave them an opportunity for things like weekly group presentations, science labs, music performances, structured music class, group activities, book fairs, optional testing opportunities, etc that can’t be recreated with just a single homeschool student. It gives parents a community as well, opportunities for summer programs, play dates, etc. All the parents I met were lovely and accepting of anyone.

[Anonymous]

With a homeschool program you really only need about 3 solid hours of work. After that focus on teaching life skills like cooking, gardening, budgeting, home repair, etc. You have a great resource by having someone that can devote 1:1 attention to her, at this age that’s huge. Take full advantage of it and make it as structured as possible while still being fun.

[Anonymous]

I homeschooled 3rd grade because of Covid and it was fine. I wouldn’t want to have to homeschool MS or HS though.
Maybe do one year and see how it goes?
If you do it it’s on you to make sure she does other activities with kids, sports teams, clubs, etc, she needs to get out of her comfort zone sometimes and not just be alone all the time because of her autism. Are their homeschool groups on your area where she do group things like field trips with other kids?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Send her to the GT program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a homeschool program you really only need about 3 solid hours of work. After that focus on teaching life skills like cooking, gardening, budgeting, home repair, etc. You have a great resource by having someone that can devote 1:1 attention to her, at this age that’s huge. Take full advantage of it and make it as structured as possible while still being fun.

all kids, even kids on the spectrum, deserve to be around other kids and adults and be exposed to the world. relegating the child to 3hrs a day of homeschool with grandma based on mild complaints about a school that frankly sounds unchallenging, would be massive parental malpractice.

the child is apparently academically advanced but going to a tiny “church basement” school she dislikes. It is VERY common for kids that age to proclaim they don’t like school. this is a child who deserves to be placed with similar peers and teachers who actually know how to teach advanced kids.

[Anonymous]

I would see what can be done at her school to reduce her stress and sensory input. Noise canceling headphones, a study carell with a mesh curtain, anything like that. She needs the social skills practice and yes, we all have to learn to focus despite distractions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a homeschool program you really only need about 3 solid hours of work. After that focus on teaching life skills like cooking, gardening, budgeting, home repair, etc. You have a great resource by having someone that can devote 1:1 attention to her, at this age that’s huge. Take full advantage of it and make it as structured as possible while still being fun.

all kids, even kids on the spectrum, deserve to be around other kids and adults and be exposed to the world. relegating the child to 3hrs a day of homeschool with grandma based on mild complaints about a school that frankly sounds unchallenging, would be massive parental malpractice.

the child is apparently academically advanced but going to a tiny “church basement” school she dislikes. It is VERY common for kids that age to proclaim they don’t like school. this is a child who deserves to be placed with similar peers and teachers who actually know how to teach advanced kids.

Also homeschooling would cripple her socially at a time when she needs to be working on her social skills the most.

For SN kids, absent truly extenuating circumstances, we need to fight to keep them from being isolated and pay more attention to ensuring they can interact with the world. This is more important than with NT kids.

If you go down this route OP you could end up with a kid who refuses to leave home or engage at all. I’ve seen it happen to well-meaning parents who give in to their kids who say they “don’t like school.” It snowballs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a homeschool program you really only need about 3 solid hours of work. After that focus on teaching life skills like cooking, gardening, budgeting, home repair, etc. You have a great resource by having someone that can devote 1:1 attention to her, at this age that’s huge. Take full advantage of it and make it as structured as possible while still being fun.

all kids, even kids on the spectrum, deserve to be around other kids and adults and be exposed to the world. relegating the child to 3hrs a day of homeschool with grandma based on mild complaints about a school that frankly sounds unchallenging, would be massive parental malpractice.

the child is apparently academically advanced but going to a tiny “church basement” school she dislikes. It is VERY common for kids that age to proclaim they don’t like school. this is a child who deserves to be placed with similar peers and teachers who actually know how to teach advanced kids.

You cannot be serious.