Are doulas recommended?

[Anonymous]

I have read so many stories about women being mistreated by medical staff during labor. Does anyone have any experience with an independent doula or midwife making a positive difference in their experience? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I enlisted a doula for a midwife delivery and had a horrible experience. They both were hell bent on ensuring a vaginal delivery without pain meds, even when things were going south for me and the baby. And the nurse assisting them was similarly horrible. I was grateful to be transferred to OB care for that birth, and chose an OB for my second delivery sans doula because that first birth was so awful. Beware of providers who care more about your birth outcome and mode of delivery than you as an actual person or the health and safety of you and your child.

[Anonymous]

I was so grateful for my doula. I loved the midwives I delivered with, but the doula being there for me throughout a long labor was priceless. She also helped reassure my husband what was normal and when it made sense to advocate for more attention. Otherwise my husband and I would have been alone for most of the process and neither of us had prior experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enlisted a doula for a midwife delivery and had a horrible experience. They both were hell bent on ensuring a vaginal delivery without pain meds, even when things were going south for me and the baby. And the nurse assisting them was similarly horrible. I was grateful to be transferred to OB care for that birth, and chose an OB for my second delivery sans doula because that first birth was so awful. Beware of providers who care more about your birth outcome and mode of delivery than you as an actual person or the health and safety of you and your child.

+1

[Anonymous]

My doula was crap but I know there are population-wide studies that show they improve outcomes, especially for women of color.

[Anonymous]

My doula was very helpful with counterpressure during labor. It was nice to have to have someone there so it’s not just you waiting for a check every hour or so. (OTOH my husband did not appreciate she took the baby from the dr and held him while I got some stitches)

[Anonymous]

Midwives can be just as bad as obstetricians, but they are sneakier and they will refer to you as a birthing person.

[Anonymous]

No thanks.

My sister and SIL had horrible experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enlisted a doula for a midwife delivery and had a horrible experience. They both were hell bent on ensuring a vaginal delivery without pain meds, even when things were going south for me and the baby. And the nurse assisting them was similarly horrible. I was grateful to be transferred to OB care for that birth, and chose an OB for my second delivery sans doula because that first birth was so awful. Beware of providers who care more about your birth outcome and mode of delivery than you as an actual person or the health and safety of you and your child.

Alot of times doulas are buddies with midwives and don't want to piss them off to avoid being excluded from future births. I have heard of a doula assisting a midwife in physical assault, holding the mom down for an unwanted vaginal exam.

[Anonymous]

Save the money and get a postpartum doula or overnight help

[Anonymous]

I wish I'd gotten a doula because it turned out my DH was simply not enough support (and actually probably could have used the support of a doula himself). The hospital staff was okay. My L&D nurse was phenomenal, the first attending (the one there when I arrived in active labor) was kind of curt and rude and I felt pushed me into an epidural. I wasn't that worked up about it because I think I would have done the epidural regardless, but it was an extremely rude and unpleasant way to start my hospital visit, having this doctor (not my actual OB, who showed up later) basically bully me into an epidural in a rude way.

There was also some stuff that went down during the actual birth that was scary at the time and it would have been good to have someone who was BTDT there. It all worked out fine (again L&D nurse was awesome and once my actual doctor showed up, I felt much more comfortable) but it would have been good to have someone else there to explain things or put certain things in context for me.

What I really wish I'd had was a postpartum doula though. We had no family help and no friends to help and those first couple weeks were rough, and I would have loved to have someone come and help. In particular if I could have found one who would have mostly focused on me. I had horrible baby blues and struggled to stay on top of eating enough and hydrating during the first couple weeks of nursing around the clock. My DH did what he could be he was also kind of dumbstruck and exhausted and it would have been awesome to have someone come in for a couple hours and meal prep some stuff for me, answer questions about infant care, and also just keep an eye on my mental health. I sometimes wonder if I would have been able to avoid full blown PPD if I'd just had more care and support during those early weeks. I felt incredibly isolated and stressed.

[Anonymous]

Our doula helped my husband as much as myself. She was an invaluable part of my birth team. I felt no pressure from her for any choices. I did end up with interventions and she helped me navigate how and when they happened. I labored a long long time and the staff turned over twice. She stuck with us and was a constant. Forever grateful.

[Anonymous]

My doula was great. I used one recommended by my physicians practice because I wanted to make sure there was no tension between the people in the room. My husband in particular thought it was the best money we spent.

[Anonymous]

Are you attempting an unmedicated birth? I could see a doula being helpful in that scenario. I knew both times that I wanted an epidural asap, and both times it went fine and I didn’t need further support. I was glad I didn’t spend the money for a doula, who would have just sat around being bored most of the time while I slept through labor.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.