Graduation Party... Cash Bar???

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP graduating and paying for my own grad school party. It's at a restaurant, where I have decided to cover the entire meal with a set menu.

I have family and friends coming. I am paying for the meal as a thank you for all the people who have supported me during my grad school years.

The bill is about $2700 for lunch food/sangria/dessert for an expected 45 people.

I can NOT afford more than that.

The restaurant has offered to set up a small cash bar in the room for this who want more than sangria.

Is this okay etiquette wise?

How to convey this ?


Invitations have already been sent weeks ago.

[Anonymous]

No, it's tacky. Cover the bar, but have it be beer and wine, and pick out the beers/wines they're offering to keep it in a range.

[Anonymous]

It’s lunch? Just offer iced tea, lemonade, water, sangria. No need for a cash bar, sheesh.

[Anonymous]

No cash bar, OP. Sangria is lovely, seasonal, and perfectly fine. Not everything has to be a booze fest. Particularly not the celebration of your brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s lunch? Just offer iced tea, lemonade, water, sangria. No need for a cash bar, sheesh.

I agree, it's lunch. It's also at a restaurant, so if someone wanted something different isn't there an actual bar they could go up to to pay for something else? For some reason that's better to me than having your own little "cash only" bar by the rest of the drinks. I'm an old school WASP with family members who would love a 3 martini lunch but I feel like you either do full bar (paid) or they...find their way. I'm the first to think a cash-only bar at a Sat night wedding is the tackiest thing EVER, but a grad student paying for their own party? Lunch? Sangria is fine.

[Anonymous]

The restaurant is offering that because it's a money grab for them. What you have on the menu is fine. The alcoholics will ask the waiter where they can get their drinks.

[Anonymous]

If you cannot afford this, find a cheaper alternative.

[Anonymous]

Say no to the restaurant. Cash bars are so tacky.

[Anonymous]

What you have planned sounds lovely! I wouldn’t add a cash bar. If anyone wants to buy a drink, they can find the bar and order one somehow. But no one needs to drink at lunch. And you’re already offering sangria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP graduating and paying for my own grad school party. It's at a restaurant, where I have decided to cover the entire meal with a set menu.

I have family and friends coming. I am paying for the meal as a thank you for all the people who have supported me during my grad school years.

The bill is about $2700 for lunch food/sangria/dessert for an expected 45 people.

I can NOT afford more than that.

The restaurant has offered to set up a small cash bar in the room for this who want more than sangria.

Is this okay etiquette wise?

How to convey this ?


Invitations have already been sent weeks ago.

Sounds absolutely beautiful. Nothing more needed. I’d love an event like this.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone! I appreciate the helpful feedback!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No cash bar, OP. Sangria is lovely, seasonal, and perfectly fine. Not everything has to be a booze fest. Particularly not the celebration of your brain.

I agree with this 100%. If anyone needs a stiff drink at lunch, that’s their problem, not yours.

[Anonymous]

No one ‘needs’ an alcoholic drink. It’s your party. Plan it your way.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m a drinker and I just want to chime in and I say I think your plan is just lovely and generous. I would be honored to be invited to such an event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m a drinker and I just want to chime in and I say I think your plan is just lovely and generous. I would be honored to be invited to such an event.

Thank you!