One glass of wine at night

[Anonymous]

My father recently passed away and it’s been incredibly difficult. I’m actively seeing a therapist, exercising, eating healthy, working a regular schedule, basically doing everything for my family that I did before, plus taking care of my mom (and dealing with a BPD sibling).

I tried the antidepressant route and ended up feeling close to suicidal. So I’ve landed on a small glass of wine at night. It takes the edge off after dealing with reality all day. I rarely if ever drink during the day and never drive after I’ve had my glass.

Yet I feel so guilty, and worry about long term health impact. Obviously I know it’s not good for me, but I figure it’s better than being incredibly stressed all day into the night. I am trying to cut back but just curious about others opinions.

How terrible is it really? I would estimate I go through one bottle a week myself (low tolerance).

[Anonymous]

Try quitting for a few days and see how you feel. Have you tried yoga?

[Anonymous]

It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

This is basically nothing. Probably your worrying about it is worse than the booze itself.

[Anonymous]

This is fine and debatably healthier than being on a med. don’t flame me, I’ve been on meds. Do not increase the amount consumed.

[Anonymous]

Well, considering there are/have been millions of French and Italian people who typically drink a glass of wine (or two) every day and live to a ripe old age, I wouldn't be too worried about it being "not good" for you.

Honestly, Americans obsession with taking medications is much worse than drinking a glass of wine per day.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine unless your tiny little glass is a fish bowl on a stem.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine, OP. Yes, as you point out it’s self-medication, but clearly better for you than the meds you tried. Quality of life matters, too.

[Anonymous]

Hey, if you need a crutch, you need a crutch.

Not everyone can be as strong as I am.

[Anonymous]

AA

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for your loss OP.

[Anonymous]

Wine makes me wake up with middle of the night insomnia. And it also makes me gain weight. But for those two things, I’d probably do it too OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I love wine but generally can't drink it 2 or more nights in a row because it seems to cumulatively add to my bad mental state. I get the relief at night for a few hours, then I feel worse the next day, even on a measured 5 ozs.

I get the stress and I know it's easy to say try something else. But is there anyway you can try walking, even in place, at the end of the day and try something like Tylenol to relax. Perhaps try it for a few days and see if you can't get some better sleep, which will definitely help.

I know that's not what you're asking. And I don't think a glass of wine a night is a bad thing. I just would worry that it's making the problem worse.

So sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

I used to love wine in the evening. It was great until I developed heart palpitations.

[Anonymous]

You say your dad recently passed away. I think you should cut yourself some slack. You recognize that it's a crutch and you are mindful of the health "risks" (which I would say are minimal for small, short term use). I would let yourself just have this for a defined period of time (30 days? 60?) and then re-evaluate. Continue to do all those other things, too, of course.