My neice is scared of my husband

[Anonymous]

Niece is 2 year old, and she stays home with SIL ( full time mom) most of the time. She has not gone to daycare or any playdates or any structured class. We see them a few times at family gathering per year. She scares of my DH since she was like 8 months old. She cries everytime she sees him even he stays far away. She just cries at the sight of him. DH is a big guy. I have told DH to smile at her or try to play with her. She is just scared of him. DH gets annoyed that everyone sees him as a bad guy and he can't be present at the family room.

She used to scare of SIL's brother, but overtime, she is over it. My brother/SIL tells me that they don't understand why she is scared of DH as the only person in the world. I don't like the way they put it, and I also doubt it. The way they put in words hurt DH's feelings. DH has not done anything to niece. What could be the reason why she is scared/cried at the sight of DH even he stays far away out of all family members? We are all look the same (black hair, black eyes), except he is the tallest and biggest one (6 ' 180 lbs).

[Anonymous]

You and your husband need to get over it.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure this is hurtful for you, but your niece is 2. Being "scared" of your husband is not a rational thought for her. It would be helpful if your sister and BIL showed your niece pictures of your husband and said nice things about him. But absolutely don't force contact between your husband and your niece.

[Anonymous]

There is no reason to be offended by a two year old

[Anonymous]

Does he have facial hair? Wear a hat? Only one with glasses?

Agree with the others that neither of you can be offended by this…

[Anonymous]

Does your DH have a loud voice? I apparently was terrified of my dad's best friend around that age (who was close enough to our family to be my officiant at my wedding). He just has a naturally booming voice and for some reason it scared me!

[Anonymous]

Our niece was afraid of ALL men for her first 2.5 years. Kids are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Niece is 2 year old, and she stays home with SIL ( full time mom) most of the time. She has not gone to daycare or any playdates or any structured class. We see them a few times at family gathering per year. She scares of my DH since she was like 8 months old. She cries everytime she sees him even he stays far away. She just cries at the sight of him. DH is a big guy. I have told DH to smile at her or try to play with her. She is just scared of him. DH gets annoyed that everyone sees him as a bad guy and he can't be present at the family room.

She used to scare of SIL's brother, but overtime, she is over it. My brother/SIL tells me that they don't understand why she is scared of DH as the only person in the world. I don't like the way they put it, and I also doubt it. The way they put in words hurt DH's feelings. DH has not done anything to niece. What could be the reason why she is scared/cried at the sight of DH even he stays far away out of all family members? We are all look the same (black hair, black eyes), except he is the tallest and biggest one (6 ' 180 lbs).

She’s a weird kid. She was scared of the BIL, so don’t take it personally and if they bring it up again and it still bothers you remind them she was scared of someone else too.

[Anonymous]

My daughter used to cry at large men (her father is a short slim man). She got over it.

The solution is exposure. He should NOT stay away. He has to stand there with the group, and the group has to make an effort to engage him, smile and laugh with him, so the scared toddler is brought to understand he means no harm.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should be offended but I also don't think it's reasonable to make your DH stay out of the family room if that's where most of the family is gathered.

[Anonymous]

I can understand why you DHs feelings would be hurt, but who knows what the reason is.

It would be nice if your brother and SIL would try to do things to help her be less scared (like the picture idea) but most likely she'll just outgrow it.

[Anonymous]

My mom says I was afraid of all men when I was a baby/toddler (except relatives like my dad and grandparents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Niece is 2 year old, and she stays home with SIL ( full time mom) most of the time. She has not gone to daycare or any playdates or any structured class. We see them a few times at family gathering per year. She scares of my DH since she was like 8 months old. She cries everytime she sees him even he stays far away. She just cries at the sight of him. DH is a big guy. I have told DH to smile at her or try to play with her. She is just scared of him. DH gets annoyed that everyone sees him as a bad guy and he can't be present at the family room.

She used to scare of SIL's brother, but overtime, she is over it. My brother/SIL tells me that they don't understand why she is scared of DH as the only person in the world. I don't like the way they put it, and I also doubt it. The way they put in words hurt DH's feelings. DH has not done anything to niece. What could be the reason why she is scared/cried at the sight of DH even he stays far away out of all family members? We are all look the same (black hair, black eyes), except he is the tallest and biggest one (6 ' 180 lbs).

All my nieces and nephews, at that age, were terrified of my husband because he had a beard. You just have to laugh it off, it’s completely normal. He has excellent relationships with all of them now.

[Anonymous]

Immigrant troll strikes again

[Anonymous]

My son was afraid of my FIL for 3 years. It happens.

But, the niece should be removed when she cries, you husband shouldn’t leave the room. It’s a niece issue.