can someone help explain very rich, southern culture to me?

[Anonymous]

I am so intrigued. Our daughter is dating a wonderful young man that she met in college, who is from the south. My husband and I were both raised in the DMV so obviously quite different upbringings.

I knew he came from great wealth, but had no idea how much so until we were invited to his sisters wedding this past weekend in a very top notch southern resort.

we got to spend time with them off and on for three days and I was captivated. First of all, they could not have been nicer, incredibly well mannered, and impeccably dressed. Even for a casual dinner most of the guys had sports jackets on which I loved. The women were so meticulous, I found it almost intimidating, and again, not sure if this is how they mostly are, or the exception?

they seem extremely close somewhat formal and almost too nice for it to be real. Is this just the way things are? are they this way? No matter what in front of strangers and or out of the family circle?

his family owns three or four homes, and she said when she has gone, which mostly have been over holidays, that large groups of extended family are there together. Personally, I find it admirable, but I am curious if this is inherent to the rich, southern culture, or if this is an exception? I find it so interesting because it’s so vastly different from how I grew up.

sorry for my computer keyboard is sticking!

[Anonymous]

I think non southern wealthy circles are also well dressed with jackets and wonderful manners, but the southern flavor is more outwardly friendly and courteous.

[Anonymous]

Not all families are close regardless of money, OP. Surely you know this. I come from a very poor family in New England and our family was super close and everyone got along well.

[Anonymous]

Is Maryland and Virginia the south? Op says they are from this area. Which is the south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Maryland and Virginia the south? Op says they are from this area. Which is the south.

C'mon... no one actually considers the DMV area the South when referring to Southern culture. Being below the Mason-Dixon line is the only thing this area has in common with the South.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure I understand your question.

We have many people who love to dress up and show off their conspicuous consumption here in the DMV, too. Actually more.

I went to college in the South after growing up in the DMV and the big takeaway from me was how people only seemed to value a few things/brands. Destin and Sea Island but not Carolina Beach, for example. Lilly Pulitzer but not Ashley and Olivia. Lots of loud makeup and sooo much pink. That’s really the only difference.

I also got far closer to the drug trafficking trade there while hanging out with these people than I ever did spending time with wealthy business owner families in the DMV. I found that the only alarming difference. They all weren’t but proportionally more were at least tangentially connected.

[Anonymous]

Yes this is how they are this is how they are this is how they are

any range of niceness and manners can be expected on a case by case basis, but yes they will dress the part even just for themselves. My husband always has a collared shirt on. A sports coat is automatic. He has three tuxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so intrigued. Our daughter is dating a wonderful young man that she met in college, who is from the south. My husband and I were both raised in the DMV so obviously quite different upbringings.

I knew he came from great wealth, but had no idea how much so until we were invited to his sisters wedding this past weekend in a very top notch southern resort.

we got to spend time with them off and on for three days and I was captivated. First of all, they could not have been nicer, incredibly well mannered, and impeccably dressed. Even for a casual dinner most of the guys had sports jackets on which I loved. The women were so meticulous, I found it almost intimidating, and again, not sure if this is how they mostly are, or the exception?

they seem extremely close somewhat formal and almost too nice for it to be real. Is this just the way things are? are they this way? No matter what in front of strangers and or out of the family circle?

his family owns three or four homes, and she said when she has gone, which mostly have been over holidays, that large groups of extended family are there together. Personally, I find it admirable, but I am curious if this is inherent to the rich, southern culture, or if this is an exception? I find it so interesting because it’s so vastly different from how I grew up.

sorry for my computer keyboard is sticking!

Troll. There's someone here who loves to make up scenarios and wax rhapsodic over the beauty, grace, charm, and manners of the wealthy. A couple of years ago it was about a group of private school students at a Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Maryland and Virginia the south? Op says they are from this area. Which is the south.

C'mon... no one actually considers the DMV area the South when referring to Southern culture. Being below the Mason-Dixon line is the only thing this area has in common with the South.

When I moved to DC 40 years ago, many people in the DMV had southern (VA) or southern Maryland accents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Maryland and Virginia the south? Op says they are from this area. Which is the south.

C'mon... no one actually considers the DMV area the South when referring to Southern culture. Being below the Mason-Dixon line is the only thing this area has in common with the South.

Duly noted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Maryland and Virginia the south? Op says they are from this area. Which is the south.

C'mon... no one actually considers the DMV area the South when referring to Southern culture. Being below the Mason-Dixon line is the only thing this area has in common with the South.

When I moved to DC 40 years ago, many people in the DMV had southern (VA) or southern Maryland accents.

That was 40 years ago. I'm sure there are still pockets of the old south, the south doesn't really start until you get past the exurbs into Fauquier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so intrigued. Our daughter is dating a wonderful young man that she met in college, who is from the south. My husband and I were both raised in the DMV so obviously quite different upbringings.

I knew he came from great wealth, but had no idea how much so until we were invited to his sisters wedding this past weekend in a very top notch southern resort.

we got to spend time with them off and on for three days and I was captivated. First of all, they could not have been nicer, incredibly well mannered, and impeccably dressed. Even for a casual dinner most of the guys had sports jackets on which I loved. The women were so meticulous, I found it almost intimidating, and again, not sure if this is how they mostly are, or the exception?

they seem extremely close somewhat formal and almost too nice for it to be real. Is this just the way things are? are they this way? No matter what in front of strangers and or out of the family circle?

his family owns three or four homes, and she said when she has gone, which mostly have been over holidays, that large groups of extended family are there together. Personally, I find it admirable, but I am curious if this is inherent to the rich, southern culture, or if this is an exception? I find it so interesting because it’s so vastly different from how I grew up.

sorry for my computer keyboard is sticking!

Troll. There's someone here who loves to make up scenarios and wax rhapsodic over the beauty, grace, charm, and manners of the wealthy. A couple of years ago it was about a group of private school students at a Starbucks.

+1. This. I recall that one! When a sorry middle aged wanna be man keeps inquiring about the same crap over and over, it is worth it not to answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:they seem extremely close somewhat formal and almost too nice for it to be real.

I am close to a family where everything was indeed too nice for it to be real. It was a surprise to the outside world when the couple divorced because their facade was so well constructed and appearances were everything. For the individuals of the family, there was a lot of deep unhappiness hidden inside. Obviously this is just one case, and perhaps they were the exception. But I wouldn't idolize a polished family exterior because they pay attention to clothes and manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Maryland and Virginia the south? Op says they are from this area. Which is the south.

C'mon... no one actually considers the DMV area the South when referring to Southern culture. Being below the Mason-Dixon line is the only thing this area has in common with the South.

When I moved to DC 40 years ago, many people in the DMV had southern (VA) or southern Maryland accents.

Same but only 20 years ago - and they were proud to be southern! Now that people have the internet, and are universally privy to their atrocities (multiple and plural), people want to pretend that the DMV isn't south. Sure is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:they seem extremely close somewhat formal and almost too nice for it to be real.

I am close to a family where everything was indeed too nice for it to be real. It was a surprise to the outside world when the couple divorced because their facade was so well constructed and appearances were everything. For the individuals of the family, there was a lot of deep unhappiness hidden inside. Obviously this is just one case, and perhaps they were the exception. But I wouldn't idolize a polished family exterior because they pay attention to clothes and manners.

+1. Learn to be suspicious when people are overly concerned about appearances, OP. They are telling you something, loud and clear.