Fiancé wants a church wedding
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Anonymous
| I’m not religious and think it will be easier to get married at the same venue as our reception. Fiancé grew up catholic but isn’t a practicing catholic. His family and him think a church wedding is more appropriate, but I feel it’s weird to get married in a church when I’m not religious. I feel like it’s making a mockery of the religion. Should I give in because it’s not that important to me? |
Anonymous
| Can you get married in a Catholic Church without being confirmed? Serious question, always thought that was true. |
Anonymous
| 100% go for the church wedding if it's important to them and not to you. |
Anonymous
| A priest might not even marry you if you are not catholic and you will have to do pre cana classes. |
Anonymous
More research is needed for a Catholic wedding, because you can't just walk in and be given a date. Are you baptized? We opted for a civil marriage, because my husband's atheist convictions were stronger than my Catholic leanings 
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Anonymous
OP here. We checked and I don’t have to be confirmed to get married in a Catholic Church. We can also choose a non-denominational church, too. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I think we have to get a special pass or something from a higher up and lie and say I’m catholic and will raise our kids catholic. It seems like a huge task for nothing. |
Anonymous
Kind of weird to get married in a non den church when you are Catholic. The Catholic church will not recognize that marriage. |
Anonymous
If you claim to be Catholic you will need to prove it. Some Catholic churches will still perform the ceremony if you are Christian since your husband is Catholic. |
Anonymous
Generally they want to see proof of baptism, at least. And no, you should never lie. That seems like a really bad start to marriage. Maybe you guys are not ready to get married if this is tripping you up. You should have a discussion about finances. Parenting. Religion. All the difficult subjects. |
Anonymous
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It’s not giving in OP, it’s compromising. I personally wouldn’t get married in a Catholic Church because I don’t agree with their views.
I wanted to get married at the Church I attend and spouse went along with it because she knew it was important to me. She doesn’t attend now with me and DD but she is not against our religion in her values or anything. |
Anonymous
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“Catholic” as it refers to the Church is a proper noun and hence needs to be capitalized.
That out of the way, PP’s are correct that even the most happy-friendly Father Marryin’ Sam is unlikely to be willing just to have a non-religious (non-Catholic? non-Baptized? non-Christian?) and a non-practicing (non-confirmed?) Catholic stop in of a Saturday for a nice ceremony. Catholic marriage is a sacrament. It requires preparation. It requires that the parties be “suitably disposed” (in an objective state of grace, free of prior bond, knowingly and willingly accepting the obligations of a union that is permanent, exclusive and open to the possibility of offspring). It may, if one party is not Catholic, require a dispensation (“permission from a higher-up, e.g., the bishop). Unless it is to take place at the residential Parish of the Catholic party another dispensation is required for that. PP’s are correct that Confirmation is not technically required for Matrimony, but the priest doing the marriage will be interested in knowing why the person is not confirmed already or interested in becoming so. Most parishes require at least a six month lead time, with multiple preparation meetings and typically a preparation course (often called “Pre Cana). At the end of the day, the priest will want to understand why two people, one of whom has no connection to the Church and the other of whom seems to have no more than a cultural/family-pleasing connection, want a Catholic wedding and what they hope to gain by that, beyond a pretty ceremony. None of this is insurmountable, but you’d have to want it, and be willing to do what was required. Sadly, situations like this all too often result in people blaming the Church for being mean, close-minded or whatever. But Catholic rituals have meaning, they’re not just a show. |
Anonymous
| “Lying” about being Catholic will go nowhere. Part of the most initial preparation for marriage is for the officiating priest to obtain official copies of baptismal certificates directly from the place of baptism. |
Anonymous
| Seemly likely you two don’t belong together. |
Anonymous
| You’ll want to reach agreement on this or end the relationship if you can’t reach common ground. |