Please give me hope for my kids

[Anonymous]

DH and I have/had a loveless relationship. The kids have never seen true love and affection. Just tension and stress. No fighting, per se. just a lot of quiet anger and animosity. I regret not leaving sooner but what’s done is done. They are now off to college and we will soon be divorced. Please share with me hopeful stories of perhaps finding and achieving true love in spite of having parents who modeled the complete opposite. I want them to have more than I had. I’m so afraid they won’t and feel so guilty. Both are boys - by the way.

[Anonymous]

If you have been a loving mom, that’s what they will remember.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have been a loving mom, that’s what they will remember.

Thank you. I think I have been. I truly hope so. They have a selfish pompous dad who treats me like a pice of property or his personal assistant at best. I always tried to “be there” for them and be the voice of reason. They are close to my side of the family and have forged family memories from those relationships. He has no family to speak of and doesn’t like my family and they know it. I’m generally a peacemaker and kind of a pushover so I don’t like that I’ve modeled that behavior. My heart breaks for the loss and the damage I’ve caused. I hope they find happiness in spite of the toxicity they grew up around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have been a loving mom, that’s what they will remember.

Thank you. I think I have been. I truly hope so. They have a selfish pompous dad who treats me like a pice of property or his personal assistant at best. I always tried to “be there” for them and be the voice of reason. They are close to my side of the family and have forged family memories from those relationships. He has no family to speak of and doesn’t like my family and they know it. I’m generally a peacemaker and kind of a pushover so I don’t like that I’ve modeled that behavior. My heart breaks for the loss and the damage I’ve caused. I hope they find happiness in spite of the toxicity they grew up around.

NP. Oh, well crap. If that's the case you need to have the come to Jesus with them about how to treat a woman with respect despite what they've seen. To let them know to be self-aware enough if they are 'acting like dad' so they don't recreate the dynamic.