Ground rules when teen has girlfriend/boyfriend visit

[Anonymous]

What are some ground rules that you impose at your home when a girlfriend or boyfriend comes to hang out? DC is 15 and they are having someone they "like" over at our house for a few hours during the day.

[Anonymous]

I really think you need to have several discussions about sexual activity:

Consent
Safety
Your Rules Generally
Your Rules About Your House

Don’t skip those convos because they’re uncomfortable and substitute something like “your bedroom door has to be open.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think you need to have several discussions about sexual activity:

Consent
Safety
Your Rules Generally
Your Rules About Your House

Don’t skip those convos because they’re uncomfortable and substitute something like “your bedroom door has to be open.”

OP here- you read my mind! the first thing I was going to say is to keep their bedroom door open!

[Anonymous]

But this is kind of pointless since you can’t control what happens at the BF/GF ‘s home. Speaking from bad past experience, the BF’s mom claims she is home and supervising but they managed to have sex there ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think you need to have several discussions about sexual activity:

Consent
Safety
Your Rules Generally
Your Rules About Your House

Don’t skip those convos because they’re uncomfortable and substitute something like “your bedroom door has to be open.”

OP here- you read my mind! the first thing I was going to say is to keep their bedroom door open!

We had a no bedroom rule -- if you have another place can they hang out, and have some privacy, like a basement rec room, that's what we did. The door to the basement had to be left open and I'd run down to conveniently get something from the basement freezer once during a visit.

Also, condoms. I bought them, put them in a linen closet, told my teens they were there and would always be, no questions asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But this is kind of pointless since you can’t control what happens at the BF/GF ‘s home. Speaking from bad past experience, the BF’s mom claims she is home and supervising but they managed to have sex there ..

They will manage to have sex *somewhere* regardless.

[Anonymous]

Our rules

I want to hang out for a few minutes and meet them (not to ask hard questions but just to get to know)
No bedroom
Basement ok but door open and lights are on
Consent and birth control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But this is kind of pointless since you can’t control what happens at the BF/GF ‘s home. Speaking from bad past experience, the BF’s mom claims she is home and supervising but they managed to have sex there ..

They will manage to have sex *somewhere* regardless.

They might. But when you give them Carter Blanche and they up the number of encounters, the likelihood of birth control failure (pregnancy) and condom failure (STDs) goes up.

[Anonymous]

They shouldn’t even be in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Myself or their dad had to be in the house.

[Anonymous]

We don't allow them in the bedrooms - must stay in the common areas. You must walk them over to say to the adult at home upon arriving and bye when leaving. Must behave appropriately when younger siblings are around. May not bribe younger siblings more than $10 to leave the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Myself or their dad had to be in the house.

+1 no bedroom, no closed doors, consent, social media and photo rules

[Anonymous]

Our home is 3 stories, bedrooms upstairs, main living area on the ground floor, amd a finished basement.

We have boys and girls.

No one of the opposite sex is permitted upstairs on the bedroom level

If in the basement, door to the basement must remain open

Not allowed with a member of the opposite sex, AR our house or their house, if a parent is not home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But this is kind of pointless since you can’t control what happens at the BF/GF ‘s home. Speaking from bad past experience, the BF’s mom claims she is home and supervising but they managed to have sex there ..

They will manage to have sex *somewhere* regardless.

They might. But when you give them Carter Blanche and they up the number of encounters, the likelihood of birth control failure (pregnancy) and condom failure (STDs) goes up.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our rules

I want to hang out for a few minutes and meet them (not to ask hard questions but just to get to know)
No bedroom
Basement ok but door open and lights are on
Consent and birth control

Agree with these rules, but add to them:

- not just birth control but safer-sex,
- condoms. Every time. Always use a new condom, plus lube, plus:
- even for oral sex, a condom must be used (this situation is why flavored condoms are made available)
- no photos and no video.

No exceptions.