Travelling Spouses

[Anonymous]

If you have a spouse that travels a fair bit (say, one week a month) and has for years, do you ever just calculate the odds of them cheating, even if you have a solid and committed relationship?

I mean, say you and your spouse love one another, have frequent and passionate sex, still do plenty of fun things together (golf, kayaking, live music, camping, etc.) but you are apart for a lot of time. My spouse is currently in London for 10 days for the 5th time since January and it popped in my head that there's zero chance they haven't been horny any of those times.

Now multiply that over 5 years and it seems very unlikely that they have abstained from something they enjoy for that entire time. I guess I'm wondering what you think the percentages are of happy spouses cheating on work travel.

* all of this assumes your spouse is attractive and others would want to sleep with them as in my case.

[Anonymous]

I’m a female, but I am a flight attendant. I don’t ever think of cheating. I’ve yet to encounter a pilot I believe is cheating. I get “horny” when I’m away, but I masturbate. I assume that’s what my colleagues do in their hotel rooms, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female, but I am a flight attendant. I don’t ever think of cheating. I’ve yet to encounter a pilot I believe is cheating. I get “horny” when I’m away, but I masturbate. I assume that’s what my colleagues do in their hotel rooms, too.

OMg. My BIL was a pilot for about a decade---his stories of the number of pilots and flight crew cheating were numerous. Also the drinking. He left for a Fed job.

[Anonymous]

I mean, of course it’s a possibility, I’m not an idiot, but I really don’t worry about it. We trust each other. What’s the point of stressing about it or being suspicious?

[Anonymous]

Anyone close enough to cheating that travel tips them over the edge was going to do it anyway.

I mean what am I, some kind of clitoral robot? I’m perfectly capable of abstaining from partner sex for long periods of time. So are men. Anyone who says otherwise just doesn’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Funny, I’m a traveling spouse and I have been traveling pretty much since my first job 20 years ago. I have been very seriously tempted only once but not due to travel. I also haven’t witnessed any colleagues stepping out (I don’t monitor them that closely and I don’t make my team have dinner together when we travel so I guess they could theoretically be cheating but I don’t think so).

I think you could ask the same question of the spouses who stay home while their partner travels, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I’m a traveling spouse and I have been traveling pretty much since my first job 20 years ago. I have been very seriously tempted only once but not due to travel. I also haven’t witnessed any colleagues stepping out (I don’t monitor them that closely and I don’t make my team have dinner together when we travel so I guess they could theoretically be cheating but I don’t think so).

I think you could ask the same question of the spouses who stay home while their partner travels, no?

Tougher if theres kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female, but I am a flight attendant. I don’t ever think of cheating. I’ve yet to encounter a pilot I believe is cheating. I get “horny” when I’m away, but I masturbate. I assume that’s what my colleagues do in their hotel rooms, too.

OMg. My BIL was a pilot for about a decade---his stories of the number of pilots and flight crew cheating were numerous. Also the drinking. He left for a Fed job.

He was probably lying. I’m definitely not lying so it amazes me that his story differs. Pilots are the most boring creatures on earth. But yes, we definitely all go out for drinks together, that’s fact.

[Anonymous]

I am curious you have not had this conversation with your husband. A conversation about being apart and being horny (not asking …do you cheat without any reason). I have. We addressed it. We have phone or FaceTime sex when he travels or he watches porn and pleasures himself.

[Anonymous]

My DH and many of our close friends travel regularly for jobs but none is cheating type, if something out of character ever happens, that would be a moment of character weakening and it can happen in home town as well.

Main reason why most people don't cheat isn't lack of opportunities but lack of character flaw and the value the see in their monogamous relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I’m a traveling spouse and I have been traveling pretty much since my first job 20 years ago. I have been very seriously tempted only once but not due to travel. I also haven’t witnessed any colleagues stepping out (I don’t monitor them that closely and I don’t make my team have dinner together when we travel so I guess they could theoretically be cheating but I don’t think so).

I think you could ask the same question of the spouses who stay home while their partner travels, no?

Tougher if theres kids.

Nobody is like, oh, I would cheat but the logistics are killer

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]If you have a spouse that travels a fair bit (say, one week a month) and has for years, do you ever just calculate the odds of them cheating, even if you have a solid and committed relationship?
.[/quote]

I'm not going to drive myself crazy living with a man I can't trust if he is out of town. How is this any different than religious parents who don't let kids go to overnight parties or live on campus to keep them chaste, if it's supposed to happen, very well can happen during day time as well.

[Anonymous]

If you married someone likely to cheat it doesn't matter if they travel or not. And sorry OP, being attractive has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

My spouse travels at least half of any given month.

I haven't given any thought at all to him cheating. And he's horny as hell when he returns.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]If you have a spouse that travels a fair bit (say, one week a month) and has for years, do you ever just calculate the odds of them cheating, even if you have a solid and committed relationship?

I mean, say you and your spouse love one another, have frequent and passionate sex, still do plenty of fun things together (golf, kayaking, live music, camping, etc.) but you are apart for a lot of time. My spouse is currently in London for 10 days for the 5th time since January and it popped in my head that there's zero chance they haven't been horny any of those times.

Now multiply that over 5 years and it seems very unlikely that they have abstained from something they enjoy for that entire time. I guess I'm wondering what you think the percentages are of happy spouses cheating on work travel.

[b]* all of this assumes your spouse is attractive and others would want to sleep with them as in my case.[/b][/quote]

Sure