Why do men choose the toilet as their preferred spot for alone time?

[Anonymous]

And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone. Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time. FWIW, we don’t have kids and we don’t suffocate one another. We both enjoy plenty of guilt-free alone time.

And don’t come in here saying your unicorn husband doesn’t do this. It is literally a joke all across the internet and has been for forever. If your husband doesn’t choose to seek alone time with his pants at his ankles and his junk dangling in the bowl, sitting on a hard toilet seat, congratulations. This post is for us real ones, I guess.

I had just cleaned our bathroom and was getting ready to replace the toilet paper—there was none. In the time I was running to the pantry to grab a new package, DH proclaimed he had to poop. When he was done with his lengthy trip to drop the kids at the pool, I finished refilling the TP. There was still no TP, nor had he asked me to bring him any, and the bathroom still smelled like cleaning product. I asked him, “Did you not wipe, or were you just pretending to poop?” His face turned red when he realized he was caught. I asked him why he chose to spend his alone time in the bathroom when we have a finished basement and other quiet places to retreat with comfy furniture and where you don’t need to get partially naked and sit on a hard surface, so why the bathroom? He couldn’t give me an answer. Is this genetic?

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't do this, but I do.

[Anonymous]

My DH doesn't do this. When I asked him why not, his answer was, "Why would I want to sit in my own stink?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH doesn't do this. When I asked him why not, his answer was, "Why would I want to sit in my own stink?"

The answer is, because those who do this aren’t actually pooping.

[Anonymous]

As a man, I can only speculate that he was doing something on his phone that he didn't want you to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I can only speculate that he was doing something on his phone that he didn't want you to see.

Could be, but I was upstairs cleaning the toilet while he was alone downstairs where he could have looked on his phone in private. Why come UP to where I was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone. Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time. FWIW, we don’t have kids and we don’t suffocate one another. We both enjoy plenty of guilt-free alone time.

And don’t come in here saying your unicorn husband doesn’t do this. It is literally a joke all across the internet and has been for forever. If your husband doesn’t choose to seek alone time with his pants at his ankles and his junk dangling in the bowl, sitting on a hard toilet seat, congratulations. This post is for us real ones, I guess.

I had just cleaned our bathroom and was getting ready to replace the toilet paper—there was none. In the time I was running to the pantry to grab a new package, DH proclaimed he had to poop. When he was done with his lengthy trip to drop the kids at the pool, I finished refilling the TP. There was still no TP, nor had he asked me to bring him any, and the bathroom still smelled like cleaning product. I asked him, “Did you not wipe, or were you just pretending to poop?” His face turned red when he realized he was caught. I asked him why he chose to spend his alone time in the bathroom when we have a finished basement and other quiet places to retreat with comfy furniture and where you don’t need to get partially naked and sit on a hard surface, so why the bathroom? He couldn’t give me an answer. Is this genetic?

DH here: perhaps you are reasonable about “alone time”, but a lot of wives are not. “I need some alone time” is often taken personally, and it’s always qualified by “your alone time is fine, unless I happen to carrying the mental load on something at the moment, in which case you have to do it too, after all you are doing nothing at the moment anyway” Which would be fine if it was limited to serious matters, but in practice any minor task or errand can cross this threshold. Also, he may be jerking off sometimes too. Lol

[Anonymous]

Is this your biggest complaint of him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone. Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time. FWIW, we don’t have kids and we don’t suffocate one another. We both enjoy plenty of guilt-free alone time.

And don’t come in here saying your unicorn husband doesn’t do this. It is literally a joke all across the internet and has been for forever. If your husband doesn’t choose to seek alone time with his pants at his ankles and his junk dangling in the bowl, sitting on a hard toilet seat, congratulations. This post is for us real ones, I guess.

I had just cleaned our bathroom and was getting ready to replace the toilet paper—there was none. In the time I was running to the pantry to grab a new package, DH proclaimed he had to poop. When he was done with his lengthy trip to drop the kids at the pool, I finished refilling the TP. There was still no TP, nor had he asked me to bring him any, and the bathroom still smelled like cleaning product. I asked him, “Did you not wipe, or were you just pretending to poop?” His face turned red when he realized he was caught. I asked him why he chose to spend his alone time in the bathroom when we have a finished basement and other quiet places to retreat with comfy furniture and where you don’t need to get partially naked and sit on a hard surface, so why the bathroom? He couldn’t give me an answer. Is this genetic?

God Almighty. You sound absolutely insufferable.

we don’t have kids

Good. You procreating would be a crime against humanity.

I can only speculate that he was doing something on his phone that he didn't want you to see.

Suicide. No need to speculate. This man is contemplating suicide.

[Anonymous]

Only place I read my phone in peace without the kids crawling all over me. More often than not, kids seem to understand that potty time means you don't open the door.

That said, I really should get a more comfortable toilet seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone. Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time. FWIW, we don’t have kids and we don’t suffocate one another. We both enjoy plenty of guilt-free alone time.

And don’t come in here saying your unicorn husband doesn’t do this. It is literally a joke all across the internet and has been for forever. If your husband doesn’t choose to seek alone time with his pants at his ankles and his junk dangling in the bowl, sitting on a hard toilet seat, congratulations. This post is for us real ones, I guess.

I had just cleaned our bathroom and was getting ready to replace the toilet paper—there was none. In the time I was running to the pantry to grab a new package, DH proclaimed he had to poop. When he was done with his lengthy trip to drop the kids at the pool, I finished refilling the TP. There was still no TP, nor had he asked me to bring him any, and the bathroom still smelled like cleaning product. I asked him, “Did you not wipe, or were you just pretending to poop?” His face turned red when he realized he was caught. I asked him why he chose to spend his alone time in the bathroom when we have a finished basement and other quiet places to retreat with comfy furniture and where you don’t need to get partially naked and sit on a hard surface, so why the bathroom? He couldn’t give me an answer. Is this genetic?

I don't know, but I can certainly understand why someone might want some time away from you. What a nasty post.

[Anonymous]

Flogging his meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I can only speculate that he was doing something on his phone that he didn't want you to see.

Yes. I discovered my DH was conducting a 2 year emotional affair from the bathroom. I just thought he had constipation issues. His affair turned physical and divorce is pending.
Check his phone to be sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I can only speculate that he was doing something on his phone that he didn't want you to see.

Yes. I discovered my DH was conducting a 2 year emotional affair from the bathroom. I just thought he had constipation issues. His affair turned physical and divorce is pending.
Check his phone to be sure

If you check his phone and he isn't having an affair, the marriage is over. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

I once asked a close guy friend this question. He said two reasons: 1. self pleasure time and 2. it's nice to let their member dangle and breathe for a bit.

Mmm'k then.