Manager asks for honest feedback, wants to talk about her downfalls. How honest do you get?

[Anonymous]

She would like to know her downfalls from the employee perspective. We have lost four team members who all complained to HR apparently about her management skills.

FWIW she is not someone who explains well what she is seeking from her employees and often changes course without clarity. These are frustrations the team consistently talks about amongst ourselves.

How would you word it?

[Anonymous]

Making expectations clear and written (or memorializing plan in approved memo) is helpful for some employees

[Anonymous]

They need to get someone to administer a 360. review.

[Anonymous]

how was this presented to you? From this manager directly, or from a coach she's working with, or a 360 assessment?

I'd be honest if I was confident I was part of a group and it wouldn't be tied directly to me. Otherwise I'd tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

Too dangerous. This isn't your job.

[Anonymous]

FWIW she is not someone who explains well what she is seeking from her employees and often changes course without clarity. These are frustrations the team consistently talks about amongst ourselves.

I would say exactly this. And, if I were her, I would appreciate having this information.

This assumes that you already have a good relationship with her. I might be less direct if I thought that she disliked me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too dangerous. This isn't your job.

+1. This could be a suicide run in many workplaces.

[Anonymous]

If you can frame it as things you do better with (rather than as a failing on her part) it will go over better.

So not-“you’re not very clear and sometimes you change direction mid course”

But-“I like to have very clear direction in writing so I know I understand what I’m being asked to do and can refer back to it. I find it helpful to check in weekly on project goals/direction to make sure we’re all on the same page since projects sometimes evolve.”

[Anonymous]

Why isn't her manager (or even skip manager) dealing with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too dangerous. This isn't your job.

I agree with this. It feels like a trap!

[Anonymous]

I would avoid telling her any of her negative qualities directly. You could say “It would be helpful if we had more communication.” You’re not making this about her negative qualities but instead discussing general actions that would benefit the team.

[Anonymous]

I would frame everything in terms of how you are affected by her style. Use "I" statements and avoid "you do this."

[Anonymous]

Op here. This is directly from my manager. Possibly prompted by the HR reporting.

Thank you PPs this will be a direct conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would avoid telling her any of her negative qualities directly. You could say “It would be helpful if we had more communication.” You’re not making this about her negative qualities but instead discussing general actions that would benefit the team.

This.

Don't talk about downfalls. Talk about positive actions and concrete steps to get there, as a team.

[Anonymous]

No!! Tap dance and get out of there.

There’s almost no chance you can manage up and make a bad manager better.

There’s a huge chance they will take criticism poorly and retaliate, even if it’s “anonymous.”

I can think of one time I gave honest critical feedback to a manager and it was because that was a very good manager who had established a culture of trust, respect and honesty.