What is this type of a response?
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Anonymous
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Frequently when our family vacation plans are shared with my MIL she will respond with a negative opinion and in a tone that is terse. For context we do not talk about our plans with her often, she is usually the one who asks (she loves as much information as possible about what everyone is doing on what dates and with whom etc…). After a few years I have just stopped sharing plans with her because it is a buzz killer, but DH still does.
Examples: “We are thinking about going skiing for winter break.” Her “Skiing is a terrible idea and so dangerous.” “DW and daughter are going to Europe for Mother’s Day weekend. They are going to see a show and friends.” Her “Well what’s there to look forward to after that.” “We are going on a camping trip in a camper.” Her “What is he thinking taking you on a trip like that.” She does it with other people too. She will bring up “did you hear Suzy took their daughter to Disney world and did a princess get up. Who does stuff like that.” With sort of a mocking chuckle. It comes off as kind of rude and judgmental to me. It’s like she has a trigger around hearing of people having lots of fun as a family or potentially spoiling their kids by treating them to a special experience. She goes on tons of amazing trips herself (she is wealthy) so it’s not that. My friend said she is jealous. What is this? |
Anonymous
| She is probably jealous. Do you ever invite her on trips with your family. I’m sure it would be excruciating, but I wonder if she feels left out? |
Anonymous
| My mom does that because she is miserable and has untreated anxiety. Ignore. |
Anonymous
| Wealth has nothing to do with it. She’s an unhappy person who’s lost her sense of wonder in life. Ask DH not to share with you his interactions with his mother. |
Anonymous
| Eh. Not everything has a name. Just be all "Oh, Judy!" about it and ignore and move on. |
Anonymous
| She wants to be included in your trips. She probably didn’t take those trips with her kids when they were young which makes her feel judged as a parent. |
Anonymous
Ugh SAME |
Anonymous
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I'd call it/her a negative nancy response.
Do not invite her on your vacations. I cant even imagine how horrible it would be. Let her huff on her own, dont let it dull your shine. |
Anonymous
She sounds like a bitter, petty woman who either takes joy in her petty rude comments or just can’t help herself. Alternatively she’s aspergers and the above but clueless how rude she is. I wouldn’t give two F’s what she ever said if she has a pattern of those rude comments. |
Anonymous
No you don’t have to bring your rude MiL on your personal trips or trips with friend or work trips or reunions. She’s had 60+ years to make her own friends and outings, not put down others’. |
Anonymous
Nope. Call a spade a spade: she’s rude and mean. Stop pretending everyone’s a victim of their own chosen behavior pattern. |
Anonymous
This. My mom is the same. |
Anonymous
| "I won't share the details if you are going to be this negative." Her son says this. More than once. "Mom, I'll talk to you again, later, when you can be more pleasant." |
Anonymous
| ^ stop wasting energy on *the why* and muster the resolve to set boundaries. |
Anonymous
| This problem is easily solved by your DH not giving her such detailed information. |