At what age did your child start playing with other kids cooperatively?

[Anonymous]

Mine is 3.5 and teachers flagged that she isn’t playing with kids cooperatively. Just wondering if that is ok for neurotypical kids. Websites say it is not expected till 4 but they said most other kids are doing it already.

[Anonymous]

Mine (boy) started closer to 4. He’s really starting to get in to it now and he’s 4.5. His preschool thinks he’s within the normal range for that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it depends in part on if they have older siblings? My daugher is almost 2 with siblings age 4.5 and 10. Little one tries to keep up and include herself with older kids the same way that they play, chasing after them, following their instructions, etc. She's tried to keep up and play along for a few months now.

[Anonymous]

That doesn’t seem abnormal. I’d say after 4, and even then, they wouldn’t exactly play together— more like respecting the other’s existence/taking turns. Real cooperative play is like 5-6.

[Anonymous]

2.75

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2.75

,+1

[Anonymous]

2-3 but they are all girls which probably hit this milestone before boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 3.5 and teachers flagged that she isn’t playing with kids cooperatively. Just wondering if that is ok for neurotypical kids. Websites say it is not expected till 4 but they said most other kids are doing it already.

The oldest one played with us at 2, but only with us and not anyone else. The second one also at 2, but only with us plus older sibling. I would not see it as a red flag if she does play cooperatively with certain people in her life at least sometimes. Some kids are selective about playmates. Maybe she just doesn't click with the other kids in her class or they irritate her? My kids are the type to complain that everyone at school is so annoying. Try a one-on-one playdate with a kid she likes for sure.

[Anonymous]

Does she do a lot of pretend play?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it depends in part on if they have older siblings? My daugher is almost 2 with siblings age 4.5 and 10. Little one tries to keep up and include herself with older kids the same way that they play, chasing after them, following their instructions, etc. She's tried to keep up and play along for a few months now.

Agree with this. My Covid baby/only child was great with adults but skeptical of other kids until halfway through preschool. She didn’t have siblings or a lot of other kids around to keep up with. Now she runs around in a pack of kids and you’d never know she was often playing alone. I think 3.5 is too young to worry about this unless there are other things you or the teachers are noticing. Every kid is different and develops differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she do a lot of pretend play?

My pediatrician flagged my oldest's advanced pretend play as a reason she didn't do as much cooperative play with other kids at 3-4 as her same-aged peers. Pediatrician said once older kids caught up to where she was in pretend play she'd do better, and it was absolutely true - but it really didn't start until halfway through kindergarten. Also held true for my 2nd girl who did a lot of pretend play. 3rd girl basically had to do more cooperative play from a young age because she was the 3rd girl in the family.

[Anonymous]

There is a difference between associative play (3s) and cooperative play (more often seen in 4s & 5s). Many preschool programs skip from parallel to cooperative play when they are observing children, missing the vital associative play that is often the world of the 3 year old. (and some older 2s and some younger 4s because children don't all move in a straight line)

See Parten's Stages of development explained in this article https://www.communityplaythings.co.uk/learning-library/articles/mildred-parten-and-her-six-stages-of-play

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between associative play (3s) and cooperative play (more often seen in 4s & 5s). Many preschool programs skip from parallel to cooperative play when they are observing children, missing the vital associative play that is often the world of the 3 year old. (and some older 2s and some younger 4s because children don't all move in a straight line)

See Parten's Stages of development explained in this article https://www.communityplaythings.co.uk/learning-library/articles/mildred-parten-and-her-six-stages-of-play

^^ So agree with this, just in my experience as a mom of young kids! (I also tend to think that parents nowadays are overly worried about any perceived differences, not understanding that all kids are different and development is not perfectly linear.)

[Anonymous]

Is this a Montessori preschool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 3.5 and teachers flagged that she isn’t playing with kids cooperatively. Just wondering if that is ok for neurotypical kids. Websites say it is not expected till 4 but they said most other kids are doing it already.

I have three and outside of our family it was around 2-2.5.