Pursuing Sports/Arts in High School but not College

[Anonymous]

Curious what others think. DD plays a varsity sport, but not with a burning passion. She's much more into her musical instrument, and has done a lot to establish her interest in the performing arts, but it's not something she wants to major in when she goes to college (but may continue in some capacity). For now, it's her main EC, though. She will probably major in something STEM and/or double with her Foreign Language.

I am seeing that some peers are giving up such ECs (all kids looking at selective schools) to focus on academic/competitive ones like science, math, debate. DD is interested in those, but doesn't want to give up sports/arts and I don't want her to. She enjoys them, and through them, I feel she's growing as a person and learning leadership, perseverance, etc. I get the sense from the other families (and one dad told me this explicitly) that if the kid is not majoring in the arts or being recruited for sports, they're dropping those things because it doesn't help their crafted "narrative" and then they can spend more time demonstrating an academic passion, doing research, or whatever.

Are they right? Am I nuts? Even if our "strategy" is all wrong, I don't think I care. But if competitive colleges don't want HS kids to explore traditional ECs, what a bummer! Kid is in 9th, so I'd love to hear from parents who just went through this.

[Anonymous]

I think it is nuts to give up things you enjoy doing. My daughter wouldn't have gotten through HS without her performing art.

I stayed with music/band all the way through college. I enjoyed it, made friends, got to travel a little. I didn't major in it - it was just elective credit. But, again, it gave me something other than straight academics that was just enjoyable.

If my parents had told me to quit the thing where my friends were and that I enjoyed doing, I would have told them to stuff it.

[Anonymous]

DD played a sport though HS at a Club Level with no intention of playing in college and did a wide degree of performing arts with no intention of majoring in that field, although she does still perform in college clubs. She is at a T15 school and I don't think it hurt her. Her ECs were part of her story. Now she did not spend as much time on her sport as better athletes or those who were trying to play in college, but she was a captain of her HS team and was able to balance the sport and her performing arts and still get good grades in high rigor classes. Your DD should be who she is and tell that story. There is not one answer. College Confidential is full of stories of disappointed kids who tried to appear pointy and focus only on activities that they thought colleges would love. Now if your DD has time to add a STEM related EC to her day, I think that would make sense. BUt I don't think it makes sense to give up the things she enjoys based on what everyone else is doing.

[Anonymous]

They are nuts. Not you.

If your daughter enjoys her sport/musical instrument, don't give them up!

We just went through this process. DD is your standard UMC white girl with good stats. I really thought she wouldn't have gotten into Top 20 schools RD because how does she stand out from all the other UMC white girls with good stats?

She got into most of the T20 schools she applied to (rejected from 1, waitlisted at other. I think 5 acceptances? I lost count). Part of what I think helped her case (and I really don't know for certain) was that she had the same activities since she was a freshman. AOs like to see continuity. They like to see quality over quantity.

If she enjoys her sports/musical instruments and sticks with them all through high school, that won't be a strike with the AOs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious what others think. DD plays a varsity sport, but not with a burning passion. She's much more into her musical instrument, and has done a lot to establish her interest in the performing arts, but it's not something she wants to major in when she goes to college (but may continue in some capacity). For now, it's her main EC, though. She will probably major in something STEM and/or double with her Foreign Language.

I am seeing that some peers are giving up such ECs (all kids looking at selective schools) to focus on academic/competitive ones like science, math, debate. DD is interested in those, but doesn't want to give up sports/arts and I don't want her to. She enjoys them, and through them, I feel she's growing as a person and learning leadership, perseverance, etc. I get the sense from the other families (and one dad told me this explicitly) that if the kid is not majoring in the arts or being recruited for sports, they're dropping those things because it doesn't help their crafted "narrative" and then they can spend more time demonstrating an academic passion, doing research, or whatever.

Are they right? Am I nuts? Even if our "strategy" is all wrong, I don't think I care. But if competitive colleges don't want HS kids to explore traditional ECs, what a bummer! Kid is in 9th, so I'd love to hear from parents who just went through this.

Both of mine are at ivies. It is not either-or, it is both, plus a top performance in the hardest course sequences offered by the school. They both did arts ECs and other ECs that did not relate to their major. Both do one of their ECs in college for fun but were not recruited athletes or a carnegie-hall level musicians, just some local awards in those Ecs. They both had academic pursuits outside of school as well, one had multiple academic awards in specific areas. Their peers at elites have all this too: most did an art or a non-recruited sport plus a lot of additional academic endeavors. For unhooked ones they need the whole package. Also, they have to be kind, good school citizens which will show in the letters of recommendation. Kindness will likely count even more going forward, at elites.

[Anonymous]

^hit submit early. Mine did not have a "narrative" or a private college counselor, or tutors or any of the nonsense DCUM loves. They were just really good students who loved to learn and loved the unrelated ECs they did, and it showed in essays and interviews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD played a sport though HS at a Club Level with no intention of playing in college and did a wide degree of performing arts with no intention of majoring in that field, although she does still perform in college clubs. She is at a T15 school and I don't think it hurt her. Her ECs were part of her story. Now she did not spend as much time on her sport as better athletes or those who were trying to play in college, but she was a captain of her HS team and was able to balance the sport and her performing arts and still get good grades in high rigor classes. Your DD should be who she is and tell that story. There is not one answer. College Confidential is full of stories of disappointed kids who tried to appear pointy and focus only on activities that they thought colleges would love. Now if your DD has time to add a STEM related EC to her day, I think that would make sense. BUt I don't think it makes sense to give up the things she enjoys based on what everyone else is doing.

Wow that's really interesting! Good to know. It's very true that there's not one answer. I think it's important to be true to who you are. Thanks for sharing a little bit about your DD. Sounds like a very talented kid! -OP

[Anonymous]

Mine does sports and music and will continue to. I want them well rounded. They aren't great at the sport but it's good exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD played a sport though HS at a Club Level with no intention of playing in college and did a wide degree of performing arts with no intention of majoring in that field, although she does still perform in college clubs. She is at a T15 school and I don't think it hurt her. Her ECs were part of her story. Now she did not spend as much time on her sport as better athletes or those who were trying to play in college, but she was a captain of her HS team and was able to balance the sport and her performing arts and still get good grades in high rigor classes. Your DD should be who she is and tell that story. There is not one answer. College Confidential is full of stories of disappointed kids who tried to appear pointy and focus only on activities that they thought colleges would love. Now if your DD has time to add a STEM related EC to her day, I think that would make sense. BUt I don't think it makes sense to give up the things she enjoys based on what everyone else is doing.

Wow that's really interesting! Good to know. It's very true that there's not one answer. I think it's important to be true to who you are. Thanks for sharing a little bit about your DD. Sounds like a very talented kid! -OP

This. Be who you are and when the time comes find the school that fits the kid. Don't make them give up things they enjoy to craft them into some theoretical applicant for a pre-determined college (that they are unlikely to get into anyway!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD played a sport though HS at a Club Level with no intention of playing in college and did a wide degree of performing arts with no intention of majoring in that field, although she does still perform in college clubs. She is at a T15 school and I don't think it hurt her. Her ECs were part of her story. Now she did not spend as much time on her sport as better athletes or those who were trying to play in college, but she was a captain of her HS team and was able to balance the sport and her performing arts and still get good grades in high rigor classes. Your DD should be who she is and tell that story. There is not one answer. College Confidential is full of stories of disappointed kids who tried to appear pointy and focus only on activities that they thought colleges would love. Now if your DD has time to add a STEM related EC to her day, I think that would make sense. BUt I don't think it makes sense to give up the things she enjoys based on what everyone else is doing.

Wow that's really interesting! Good to know. It's very true that there's not one answer. I think it's important to be true to who you are. Thanks for sharing a little bit about your DD. Sounds like a very talented kid! -OP

This. Be who you are and when the time comes find the school that fits the kid. Don't make them give up things they enjoy to craft them into some theoretical applicant for a pre-determined college (that they are unlikely to get into anyway!)

+1. She is developing skills from these ECs that may serve her well in life although the purpose is not apparent right now. Don't give them up to fit a "narrative" which may change anyway.

[Anonymous]

Yes, please let her continue her instrument and any other extracurricular that makes her happy!

Honestly, we're at the point where she'll stand out more having "normal" activities.

[Anonymous]

Each story is different. Her story is that she is well rounded and does what she enjoys. She may continue in college but at a lower level (it can be a nice/healthy break from classes). I think she’s fine and her story should be really her, not what someone thinks colleges want to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Each story is different. Her story is that she is well rounded and does what she enjoys. She may continue in college but at a lower level (it can be a nice/healthy break from classes). I think she’s fine and her story should be really her, not what someone thinks colleges want to hear.

+1 and also an easy way to connect with a social group. My DD played in band all through HS and picked a college where she could continue symphonic band & pep band (not marching band - too much time commitment) while majoring in a STEM field. Her college doesn't even have a music major but has pretty robust music programs where everyone is just doing them for fun, which makes for a nice atmosphere. I did the same in college, singing in a college choir where everyone was majoring in something else (at the time they only offered a music minor).

[Anonymous]

Build character, build personality, not just a robot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, please let her continue her instrument and any other extracurricular that makes her happy!

Honestly, we're at the point where she'll stand out more having "normal" activities.

'

I have to laugh a little whenever I get notes from my daughter's teachers (mind you, she is nowhere near Ivy League!) about what a nice, "normal" young lady she is, and how much of a pleasure/refreshing thing it is to have her in class. It actually makes me wonder a little about the types of students these teachers might be seeing these days. Probably the kids of the people OP described above.

Honestly, watching this board, it makes me glad that we aren't dealing with the Ivy or Die craziness.