Am I misreading his signals?

[Anonymous]

My male friend of 5 years and I recently started hanging out more. He had a bad accident and dislocated his shoulder and tore some tendons in knee. He asked if I would be willing to help him out since he lives in a walk-up. I figured it was his way of getting closer to me but he now has offered to pay me. I’m very confused by this and wondering if I’m misreading his actions.

[Anonymous]

Anyone?

[Anonymous]

In your group of friends, are you one of the few single ones (and I'm guessing childfree)? Or do you have the most flexibility out of those who don't have a significant other/kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your group of friends, are you one of the few single ones (and I'm guessing childfree)? Or do you have the most flexibility out of those who don't have a significant other/kids?

OP here. I’m not the only single woman in our friends group and none of us have kids. He’s also not friends with my main group of friends though.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he does not want you to feel as if "he is using him." If you are interested in him more than a friend or think it's unnecessary, decline and explain that helping is what friends do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he does not want you to feel as if "he is using him." If you are interested in him more than a friend or think it's unnecessary, decline and explain that helping is what friends do.

This. He also sounds a little socially clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he does not want you to feel as if "he is using him." If you are interested in him more than a friend or think it's unnecessary, decline and explain that helping is what friends do.

that should read "using you."

[Anonymous]

No way to know. He may just be trying not to take advantage of you. Are you getting any other vibes or signals one way or the other?

[Anonymous]

Say no thanks to payment.
Help him and see where it goes.
If you are interested look sexy when helping him out.

[Anonymous]

You could just ask him. Is he interested in trying dating or does he just want to be friends?

Your post is very vague but guessing people’s intentions is a very fraught business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say no thanks to payment.
Help him and see where it goes.
If you are interested look sexy when helping him out.

That really will only tell her his sexual orientation but not how he feels overall.

So might be worth it, but only if you aren’t sure which way(s) he swings, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP - if this friend were female, would you think she was putting the moves on you?

[Anonymous]

What exactly are you doing to help him? Cook and clean? Grocery shopping? How often? It matters

[Anonymous]

Do you live the closest?

Some people feel uncomfortable asking others for help, so that may be why he offered to pay you.

If he had been interested in you romantically I think he would have asked you on a date before his accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say no thanks to payment.
Help him and see where it goes.
If you are interested look sexy when helping him out.

Low cut blouse, bend over to pick things up, etc.