Private HS - parent communication?

[Anonymous]

My DC was at a small K-8 that is community focused and really leans in on parent communication. This is their first year at a well known private high school and while the PA sends things out here and there, we have heard nothing from the teachers the entire year. We had parent conferences in the first weeks of school and that’s it. I doubt any of their teachers would even know me in passing. We are used to periodic engagement with teachers - especially the advisor - and two sets of conferences, one in fall and one in spring. I’ve heard from parents from our old K-8 whose kids are at different area private high schools and they’re having the same experience - crickets. Are my expectations off?

[Anonymous]

I think your expectations are off, yes. Kids really are the primary communicators with the school in HS.

We also came from a very communicative k8 and have a 9th grader at SSSAS now. We get several interim grade reports throughout the year but no other regular communication. We met the advisor and teachers at BTSN in the fall and DC’s advisor also reached out near the end of the first marking period just to check in and say that DC seemed to be settling in well and was doing great. I imagine if a kid was having academic or social issues at that point, that would have been mentioned. I also assume that if anything really serious was going on—failing grades or significant social or behavioral concerns—we’d be notified. Basically, no news is good news. But DC’s advisor was very friendly and encouraged us to reach out with questions, we just haven’t needed to.

[Anonymous]

I would rather my child's teachers focus on the students - teaching, grading, and planning -rather than dealing with parents. There are only so many hours in the day and they're not paid enough as it is.

I also think your expectations are off.

[Anonymous]

Very little communication with high school teachers for multiple kids in several schools unless there is a very big problem.

[Anonymous]

Do you get report cards? I would be concerned if you had concerns and couldn't reach anyone to address them. But if everything is fine, no communication is needed.

[Anonymous]

The student is supposed to be the primary communicator in high school with teachers. You hopefully are able to passively monitor grades and get a general school newsletter that advertises school events. Also came from a small K-8 so I get that it can be jarring that it isn’t gradual ramp up but more like day 1 this is the expectation. A good parent orientation for new students should set expectations for parents while assuring them of the safety nets.

[Anonymous]

Our K-12 made clear that MS was a transition to the student being the primary point of contact with teachers, which is how it is now in HS. It does put a greater premium on good communication with your kid and getting the most out of feedback from report cards and PT conferences, but our kid has learned to take charge of their academic life. It's worked out for us, but I would hope HS teachers would be receptive to communicating directly with parents if asked or when truly needed. My gripe with the HS administration is that parent communication on big/important topics is scant. But that's probably the case at most places.

[Anonymous]

I think HS is the time to transition to less communication with teachers and more student independence, because in college your communication with professors will be nonexistent. This will be true even if your DC attends a small liberal arts college.

[Anonymous]

Well the only reason I think it's an issue is that they make such a big deal about having a strong parent and family connection

[Anonymous]

That’s absolutely normal. The kid should be communicating with teachers, not you barring extreme circumstances. Your kid needs to learn how to advocate for themselves. It’s preparing them for college and the adult world.

I have 2 in college and I never once had a reason to speak with their teachers. Youngest is in HS and outside of setting up his SSP I’m assuming it will be the same.

The school has a huge parent involvement so you get to know the teachers through activities outside of the classroom (volunteering, clubs, sports, events, etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC was at a small K-8 that is community focused and really leans in on parent communication. This is their first year at a well known private high school and while the PA sends things out here and there, we have heard nothing from the teachers the entire year. We had parent conferences in the first weeks of school and that’s it. I doubt any of their teachers would even know me in passing. We are used to periodic engagement with teachers - especially the advisor - and two sets of conferences, one in fall and one in spring. I’ve heard from parents from our old K-8 whose kids are at different area private high schools and they’re having the same experience - crickets. Are my expectations off?

Highschool at Big 3 has limited parent teacher interactions. At one we did not even have parent teacher conferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well the only reason I think it's an issue is that they make such a big deal about having a strong parent and family connection

They make a big deal out of lots of things that they don’t actually do.

Like diversity.