Why (how?) do I block out scary information?

[Anonymous]

I should preface by saying that my husband has a dangerous job. At the beginning of our marriage I was scared all the time. After our children were born, his work conditions/job became even more dangerous for a period of time, and I sort of learned to become numb to the worry in order to function. Like, he would get called away to something potentially very dangerous and I would just be like, a Stepford Wife? A zombie? Blasé about it. I think I just tucked away the fear into the back of my mind in order to function. I don’t allow myself to feel it.

But now I do that with everything. My father’s cancer. Just a few days ago, a student brought a weapon to a school in our district (NOT local to DC currently, so don’t worry for yourself!) and I was just like, meh. Parents all over our district’s social media are going crazy today, as they should be. I’m just over here without a care in the world. But deep down I know I DO care, but it’s like I can’t bring myself to *feel* those “what if’s”, and I feel sort of like a monster because of it, like there’s something wrong with me.

What is this, and what can I do about it?

[Anonymous]

It's your way of coping. there's no need to feel guilty about it.

I do it with regard to certain stressors.

[Anonymous]

You should start by divorcing your husband.

[Anonymous]

Right or wrong, I do it, too, OP. When I am not successful at doing it, I become paralyzed with stress and fear.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you've realized that much of life is completely out of your control and you'll deal with it when it comes. What good does it do to freak out in advance?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how you handling these things, so if it’s working for you I wouldn’t stress about the fact that your reactions to events tend to be different than other people’s. But if it’s bothering you or you want to figure out how to engage with your emotions and develop different coping skills for your husband’s job, this is basically what therapy is made for.

[Anonymous]

It's called dissociation.

[Anonymous]

It’s called you need to force your loser husband to get a real job where he doesn’t put you through this. Wake up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s called you need to force your loser husband to get a real job where he doesn’t put you through this. Wake up!

WTF??!!? Her husband may very well be serving our country, protecting the president, or doing any number of other important things.

OP, are you in a support group for spouses in similar situations?

[Anonymous]

Is he a garbage truck driver?

[Anonymous]

It's a good thing. It helps me save lives and provide good care to patients. Cultivate this- it's good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s called you need to force your loser husband to get a real job where he doesn’t put you through this. Wake up!

Sounds to me like he's in law enforcement.