Indulging clothing sensitivities

[Anonymous]

Until what age do you indulge your sensory-attuned but intelligent and normal boy’s insistence that some shirts are the wrong texture? Mine is 15 minutes late for school today bc he refused to put on the clean well-fitting shirt (that he has worn before) hanging in his closet and it took me 10 minutes to fish the preferred one out of the basement dryer.

[Anonymous]

It’s not that their need to be comfortable and not distracted by school goes away, it’s that they learn to do their own laundry.

[Anonymous]

This is about being to school on time, not clothes preferences. Be clear what time you need to leave for school, perhaps help him backward plan what time to start breakfast, what time to wake up, etc. and making sure he has supplies needed (including clothes) ready the night before. Each day he isn’t ready on time and that results in being late, make a consequence.

[Anonymous]

I haven't...he is 18y. It is part of who he is. Do I sometimes need to 'force' him to wear dress clothes (vs athletic clothes)? Yes. But when I buy dress clothes, I make sure they aren't overly scratchy (ie. American Eagle khakis vs Dickies) and I found performance material button downs vs starchy/stiff ones.

Also - he can 'fish the preferred one out of the dryer' and do his laundry. Also, there shouldn't be one (or a small handful) of acceptable options.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP that this is who they are. I think he, like my 14 year old with the same preference/requirement needs to learn to weed out his closet so that he only has what he will wear and to plan ahead for what he will need so he is not late.

[Anonymous]

+1. I’d he’s old enough be a tween, he’s old enough to start learning what he needs to complete to be on time. He should take responsibility for making sure he has the correct shirts ready to wear for the next day.

[Anonymous]

Tweens and teens can do their own laundry and can also lay out their clothes the night before. Mine wears basically the same few things in different colors (I do this too, tbh) so there is always something available.

Where I still struggle is choosing the item in the first place: we always try it on, I say "will you wear this? If I buy it, you will have to wear it" and yet sometimes the item suddenly becomes uncomfortable. I don't have a solution for that.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the others that said this is about maturity related to getting himself out and the door on time for school. No idea your kids’ age but I definitely put readiness on the kids by middle school.

[Anonymous]

Forcing someone to wear a t-shirt that they refuse to wear isn't going to accomplish anything, but there's no reason why a 15 year old can't get their own shirt from the basement.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t something I would classify as indulgence. I would handle it by insisting my child have clothes together the night before and at 15, teach him to do laundry.

[Anonymous]

My son has outgrown most of these issues -- largely through OT. One thing that really helped was "brushing." Your son could do it himself at this age, esp on his arms or wherever most sensitive.

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[Anonymous]

It's the age where he learns how to fish the preferred T-shirt out of the laundry himself. Would wonder if he is more stressed, which is why he had a reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not that their need to be comfortable and not distracted by school goes away, it’s that they learn to do their own laundry.

This. You are using the word "indulge" for the wrong part of your rant.

[Anonymous]

They can't be systematically late to their obligations, so if they need a certain type of shirt, they have to make sure it's available. Anyone who is reasonably intelligent and functional has to learn to pad their prep time to accommodate all their little idiosyncracies. For teens with immature brains, they need to be guided along that path, preferably by the parent who has the best handle on time management skills.

- mother and wife of ADHD/ASD people who run into these kinds of problems.

[Anonymous]

I try my best. I will buy clothing they like within reason and buy multiple so its not an issue.