Did your DC decide to transfer too late?

[Anonymous]

My freshman DC has decided they don't want to return to their college in the fall. They want to apply to another 4 year school for Spring 2025 and want to live at home and work during the application process. We're not sure that's a good idea. We're concerned about momentum and how it might impact their options applying as a non-student vs. a student transfer.

We've looked into study abroad, online classes, etc. as a way to keep them as an enrolled student of their school but not on campus, and we're either too late to the game or the options appear too limited.

If anyone has btdt I'd be grateful to hear how you/your kid navigated it.

[Anonymous]

What are their reasons for transferring and what schools are they considering? That may help with responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are their reasons for transferring and what schools are they considering? That may help with responses.

The school is too big, they are struggling socially, have a horrible roommate, it’s far away, and they don’t like the academics enough to power through. All they know at this point is smaller and closer to home. We’re looking to hire a college counselor to help target options.

[Anonymous]

Baring no mental health crisis, Imho, I would not let them move home. Tell them they have to stay enrolled until they enroll somewhere else. I would not get involved with guiding this or solving this. They either care enough, are unhappy at their present school to act, or they don't. They don't come home to figure it out.

[Anonymous]

What have they done during the year to address these concerns? Many have nothing to do with the school itself.

I would make engaging in therapy a condition of moving home.

[Anonymous]

I think this depends on your kid. If you think they might get too content earning a paycheck, depressed because no friends are around, and lose motivation, I would lean toward having them stay in their school while they apply to transfer.

If they are generally highly motivated and feel like they just need a reset, I would consider letting them do the semester at home.

[Anonymous]

What is current GPA? Is it acceptable for the target transfer schools? What is the acceptance rate or chances for transfer? I would let mine come home but they would need to continue taking classes at CC or online so they do not lose momentum or get out of the habit of going to school, studying. Outside of fall school or a job, how will they spend downtime? Are there kids from HS they will socialize with? Becoming a hermit socially is not the answer. I would want answers to all these before I go along with the plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is current GPA? Is it acceptable for the target transfer schools? What is the acceptance rate or chances for transfer? I would let mine come home but they would need to continue taking classes at CC or online so they do not lose momentum or get out of the habit of going to school, studying. Outside of fall school or a job, how will they spend downtime? Are there kids from HS they will socialize with? Becoming a hermit socially is not the answer. I would want answers to all these before I go along with the plan.

They have all As and 1 B, but don’t have any idea where else they’ll want to apply. I think they’re feeling like a failure at the moment.

Would going to CC muddy the application process? I am pushing for them to remain a student at their current school while applying out, but maybe that doesn’t really matter?

[Anonymous]

OP I would suggest hiring a college counselor to understand options without the DCUM judgement. Your son is asking for help-help him. Who cares if he comes home. What I may say is this is great for you because of course you missed him away but want to make sure coming home will feel great a month after being home. This something you can work through with a respected college counselor (I have no one to suggest but know they exist) My brother has some college adjustment issues and another school was a better fit. For him he bartended a year and then went to next school after a year home but today he says he wishes he went somewhere the next year as living with my parents got old. Full disclosure he wasn’t depressed just didn’t like the college and was the wrong major at a school that focused on that major. If he was depressed a year home with treatment would
have been fine. Just remember that DCUM tends to be harsh and judgy. Be there for your kid and it will work out.

[Anonymous]

Our kid transferred after their freshman year, applying in the spring for the following fall. Your kid gutted out freshman year which is great. I don't think there is a problem having your kid home.
Have them get a job and enroll in classes at a community college or local university. Visit schools and maybe they can transfer in the spring.

[Anonymous]

Unless your kid has shown poor judgment in the past, or has anxiety that often leads to quitting or avoiding, then I suggest listening to your kid and supporting their plan.

[Anonymous]

Figure out which schools your kid is interested in. I believe there are some that are still available for transfer. I saw one (can’t remember which with a June 1’date for apps). At least check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has shown poor judgment in the past, or has anxiety that often leads to quitting or avoiding, then I suggest listening to your kid and supporting their plan.

+1

Are you in VA? GMU is a great option and not too late, I believe.

[Anonymous]

Lots of schools still have app period open

[Anonymous]

I agree that should talk through with your DC to ensure they have fully thought through their decision and options and then support them, as well as assist them in developing a plan for what they will do during the summer and fall, how will identify schools to apply to for January, etc. I did this, albeit many years ago; left one university at end of freshman year and transferred into a different school the following January. Worked and took a couple of classes at UMd over the summer and did a great volunteer internship during the fall, getting experience that otherwise would not have had. Transferred to a highly ranked college (which probably would never have gotten into as a freshman, though that was not the reason I left the first school) and had a very positive experience, and much better for me on many fronts. Cannot imagine what would have happened if I had not had my parents support.