Is this a horrible habit?

[Anonymous]

I solo parent probably 75-80% of the time. Kids are busy with sports, Girl Scouts, church, tutoring etc. but when we are home a lot of the time they are watching tv. I especially use it when I have to take the puppy outside to go to the bathroom.

Tv is a mix of actual tv and tablets. Kids are 4, 7 and 9 years old. During the warm months they get less tv/tablet time but during the colder months they get more.

Is this a horrible habit? I would say they average 2 hours a day watching tv if we are home. I remember being a kid and loving down time watching tv when I wasn’t running around playing sports or studying. I still prefer it when I have down time, which isn’t very often anymore.

[Anonymous]

Op this is just all parents except a few smug ones and liars. Don’t sweat it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op this is just all parents except a few smug ones and liars. Don’t sweat it

Yep. Except for a few neurotic ones - and their kids will turn out to be the sorts of people that aren't fun to be around.

[Anonymous]

Op - thank you! I feel like a horrible mother when I read the thread about no phones and people say their kids don’t watch any tv and they are 10.

I am going to hold off on phones until at least 13 (hoping more like high school) but haven’t been able to hold off on the tv thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but it’s happening everywhere in most families. Including mine. It is a horrible habit though and I feel bad for this generation, but it’s hard to break.

Keep them in sports etc. and make sure they do know how to entertain themselves at home without screens. Ie have a screen free hour before bed. Have several screen free hours on the weekend with no planned or structured activities.

[Anonymous]

I watched a lot of TV after school in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Transition time at home is hard. When we have fewer transitions at home, there’s less screen time. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. If the day is packed with good activities overall, that’s a win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but it’s happening everywhere in most families. Including mine. It is a horrible habit though and I feel bad for this generation, but it’s hard to break.

Keep them in sports etc. and make sure they do know how to entertain themselves at home without screens. Ie have a screen free hour before bed. Have several screen free hours on the weekend with no planned or structured activities.

Op - but how is it any different from how we grew up in the 80s? My husband tells me about how he had a tv in his room growing up. He is now a successful lawyer making high six figures so it doesn’t seem to have stunted his development.

FWIW my kids are not gaming or watching YouTube. I am pretty strict on what they can watch. They watch Netflix kids or Disney plus kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but it’s happening everywhere in most families. Including mine. It is a horrible habit though and I feel bad for this generation, but it’s hard to break.

Keep them in sports etc. and make sure they do know how to entertain themselves at home without screens. Ie have a screen free hour before bed. Have several screen free hours on the weekend with no planned or structured activities.

Op - but how is it any different from how we grew up in the 80s? My husband tells me about how he had a tv in his room growing up. He is now a successful lawyer making high six figures so it doesn’t seem to have stunted his development.

FWIW my kids are not gaming or watching YouTube. I am pretty strict on what they can watch. They watch Netflix kids or Disney plus kids.

Good question. I think it’s because when there wasn’t anything we wanted to watch on tv, we turned it off and found something else to do. Now they can always find something to watch.

And when we were tweens we walked/biked the neighborhood with friends instead of texting them all day. And when we were teens we all wanted out of the house to socialize and now many stay home because they’re socializing through the screen. And at school we had a film strip once a week and now the smart boards are on all the time and students are on chromebooks too much of the day. And when they’re in the car and they were bored they had to stare out the window and be okay with being bored.
I just think it’s different in quantity overall.

I work in a school and the attention spans of students are overall quite low. They don’t all have adhd, it’s the screens. They’re not used to being bored.

I’m not criticizing you at all, it’s good that you have limits on what screens they do watch, they are already better off than some kids with unlimited access to YouTube. It’s a different era now and yes, I’m worried about the impact.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you think it's too much then set some limits, like no TV after dinner or no TV until homework is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op this is just all parents except a few smug ones and liars. Don’t sweat it

Yep. Except for a few neurotic ones - and their kids will turn out to be the sorts of people that aren't fun to be around.

One thing you could try is to mix in some human interaction by introducing social media to their tablet / tv mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I watched a lot of TV after school in the 80s.

Same. Quite a bit, actually. And I played Nintendo a lot! I also played outside (I was never in organized sports/Scouts, etc.) I also had a TV in my room as a teenager, connected to cable! I watched it until I fell asleep most nights.

I can confirm I am a functioning member of society who pays my bills on time each month.

[Anonymous]

Op - I will add that if my kids could they would prefer to be outside with their friends. Many afternoons they go off on their bikes and I have to drag them home for dinner.

It’s mostly an issue in the winter. They don’t roam with their friends, it’s cold and dark and we don’t do as many sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - I will add that if my kids could they would prefer to be outside with their friends. Many afternoons they go off on their bikes and I have to drag them home for dinner.

It’s mostly an issue in the winter. They don’t roam with their friends, it’s cold and dark and we don’t do as many sports.

I think this is fine. Tv isn't inherently bad in my book, its the balance of activities and making sure they get enough active, creative and outdoor time.

[Anonymous]

I will be the voice of dissent I guess. I don’t think this is great for a weekday. If they are doing activities they probably aren’t home for very long. I prefer for my kids to do things like color and draw, read, play with toys together, chat about their days with us. I instituted a no weekday tv rule this school year and I have noticed a massive difference in their behavior and sleep. It’s a lot harder for the parents but I have found it to be worth it.

I will say I think the actual tv is better than a tablet. Even Disney has some stuff that’s not appropriate for an early elementary kid. My seven year old will watch those shows they are aimed more at a preteen with a friend and the sassy back talk definitely seeps into her interactions with us.