Taking leave, when is it too much?

[Anonymous]

I have been going to 1-2 doctors appointments each week. I have Bipolar Disorder and was diagnosed with Diabetes two weeks ago. I see a psychiatrist once a mont, a therapist each week, and have seen my GP for diabetes twice now. Most of my therapy appointments are after work, or I just have to miss 30 minutes of work, which I account for by skipping my lunch break.

I also have three kids in elementary school and I have events at their school on occasion.

I have a lot of different types of leave saved: 45 hours of sick leave, 37 hours of personal leave, 16 hours of school volunteer hours, and 101 hours of vacation leave.

What can I do to make sure I’m able to go to my appointments? I haven’t asked for accommodations and haven’t declared a disability. Would it help to do these things?

In general, my boss is very supportive, and I think he wants to do the right thing.

Thanks for your advice!

[Anonymous]

If you have the time banked and your boss doesn't care, you don't have to do anything. If someone gives you a hard time, you can invoke intermittent FMLA.

[Anonymous]

You have the leaves and you're entitled to use them.

[Anonymous]

I’ve dealt with weekly therapy and kids and medical issues for years. For recurring appointments, I’ve always found the best thing to do is sit down with my manager, say— I have a medical issue that is going to require weekly treatment and I will be in around 9:30 (instead of 8:30) on Tuesdays. What’s the best way to handle this? Would you prefer I flex my hours, or take leave?

Never had a manager ask for treatment details (and they shouldn’t— but they don’t want to know, trust me). Never had one push back. Have generally found they don’t care whether I flex or take leave unless there is a work related reason it matters. And if I get the work done and am not just MIA without explanation, they don’t care. Then I block it off on my calendar.

What they care about is knowing there is a reason I’m shifting my hours or out regularly and they aren’t left guessing.

You can communicate health issues, childcare issues, etc that require leave or schedule flexibilities without getting into too many details. And basic communication about your schedule needs— without oversharing— will get you the benefit of the doubt with a good manager. Then, put in the leave or make the time up and don’t abuse it. (I assuming a white collar office job here, and not, say, an ER Doc or retail workers).

[Anonymous]

Thank you.

OP here.

My job is a support, in research, and I schedule my appointments around experiments.

My boss says he will make a permanent shift to my schedule if I continue to have appointments. I need the schedule I work because my kids get off school at a certain time.

Plus, another person in my lab only works 2 hours a day. He is male and has no kids. For some reason he’s allowed to do that and not use leave, but I’m not allowed to go to appointments and use leave. It is so unfair!

I have been here 6 years. My boss has been here 1 year, and I don’t see how I can continue under him, but I worry I won’t find anything else that works for my kid’s schedule.

[Anonymous]

As long as you are claiming your leave appropriately vs trying to “flex” the time to save leave, I think it’s fine. Where people get into trouble is not taking leave and then claiming they “make it up” later when they don’t.