Am I being petty or dignified?

[Anonymous]

I work cross functionally and the lead of one team recently told one of my reports that I am dramatic and that he does not want to send me work or deal with me. I escalated the issue to his supervisor and I said that I do not want this said again about me and that I look forward to working with that team lead amicably. I now have to interact with that team lead on Slack and I am being very formal, ie I don't use exclamation points anymore (I use them a lot and used to use them with him as well) and I am concise and to the point. I know he is picking up on this and now I'm wondering if I'm being petty and if I should force myself to be the way I used to be with him. Please tell me what you think--am I someone who is being professional and dignified or petty and trying to show him that things have changed?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I should note that this team lead has had issues with other colleagues. So no one was shocked that he had an issue with me.

[Anonymous]

You're kind of being both... the way you're acting now if professional and you should have done that to begin with. Try to make this your new normal and don't be overly friendly or emotional. Stick to facts and be formal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should note that this team lead has had issues with other colleagues. So no one was shocked that he had an issue with me.

PP. That's good to hear that it's not just you. So then stick to this manner with him and be your normal self with others.

[Anonymous]

I mean, seems like you're behaving professionally now? Being concise and not using exclamation points is neither petty nor dignified

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're kind of being both... the way you're acting now if professional and you should have done that to begin with. Try to make this your new normal and don't be overly friendly or emotional. Stick to facts and be formal.

I'm not overly friendly or emotional. I just say for example: Thank you! or elaborate a bit more on when something will be done. Now I am more concise and dry with him.

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, seems like you're behaving professionally now? Being concise and not using exclamation points is neither petty nor dignified

I was always professional with him and everyone else. My point is that my style of engaging with him has changed. I just don't want to be as courteous as I used to be. And now I'm wondering if that's petty since it's signaling to him that my attitude toward him has changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, seems like you're behaving professionally now? Being concise and not using exclamation points is neither petty nor dignified

I was always professional with him and everyone else. My point is that my style of engaging with him has changed. I just don't want to be as courteous as I used to be. And now I'm wondering if that's petty since it's signaling to him that my attitude toward him has changed.

I can see why he thinks you're dramatic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, seems like you're behaving professionally now? Being concise and not using exclamation points is neither petty nor dignified

I was always professional with him and everyone else. My point is that my style of engaging with him has changed. I just don't want to be as courteous as I used to be. And now I'm wondering if that's petty since it's signaling to him that my attitude toward him has changed.

I can see why he thinks you're dramatic

You don't know what happened or why he said that. As I mentioned upthread, he has had numerous issues with other people and my supervisor completely supported me.

[Anonymous]

Your idea of being "courteous" may have been his idea of you being "dramatic."

This is amazing, and not in a good way,

I escalated the issue to his supervisor and I said that I do not want this said again about me

. Sounds like you would have challenged him to a duel in another time period. "You have offended my honor, sir."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your idea of being "courteous" may have been his idea of you being "dramatic."

This is amazing, and not in a good way,

I escalated the issue to his supervisor and I said that I do not want this said again about me

. Sounds like you would have challenged him to a duel in another time period. "You have offended my honor, sir."

Op sounds pretty tone deaf about her own behavior. Just creating this thread is so dramatic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your idea of being "courteous" may have been his idea of you being "dramatic."

This is amazing, and not in a good way,

I escalated the issue to his supervisor and I said that I do not want this said again about me

. Sounds like you would have challenged him to a duel in another time period. "You have offended my honor, sir."

English is not my first language. I said it was unacceptable to be called dramatic in the workplace and for him to say he doesn't want to work with me. That's what I told his supervisor. I don't see what's wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your idea of being "courteous" may have been his idea of you being "dramatic."

This is amazing, and not in a good way,

I escalated the issue to his supervisor and I said that I do not want this said again about me

. Sounds like you would have challenged him to a duel in another time period. "You have offended my honor, sir."

English is not my first language. I said it was unacceptable to be called dramatic in the workplace and for him to say he doesn't want to work with me. That's what I told his supervisor. I don't see what's wrong with that.

I think people are being unfair to you.
Why can someone call a coworker "dramatic" -- no less behind their back? Not to say that dramatic people don't exist. But if it's getting in the way of productivity some direct and actionable feedback would be appropriate. Otherwise it just seems like a critique of someone's personality. He's probably emotionally stunted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your idea of being "courteous" may have been his idea of you being "dramatic."

This is amazing, and not in a good way,

I escalated the issue to his supervisor and I said that I do not want this said again about me

. Sounds like you would have challenged him to a duel in another time period. "You have offended my honor, sir."

English is not my first language. I said it was unacceptable to be called dramatic in the workplace and for him to say he doesn't want to work with me. That's what I told his supervisor. I don't see what's wrong with that.

That's quite dramatic.