College preparation/planning for a middle schooler

[Anonymous]

DC is a rising 7th grader this year. Loves arts, languages, sports, currently all at casual/hobby levels. Okay school grades but also didn't put much effort in. Overall an average kid, so I feel that we need to figure out where to focus for improvements in the next a few years. Would appreciate parents with older kids sharing some insights/experiences on what it takes to get into each tier of colleges nowadays. We live in NoVa, using VA schools as examples:

1. In-state colleges, like GMU, W&M, UVA, VT
2. Out of state #1: liberal arts colleges
3. Out of state #2: other "good colleges", like Georgetown
4. Out of state #3: the biggest names

For each tier/group, GPA>? AP/IB necessary? Sports/activities? participation or awards? volunteering? special pluses - for example heard some kids worked with college professors, did NASA projects, hospital projects, etc? anything else very important (I don't know what I don't know)?

[Anonymous]

It is way too early to be making decisions based on college applications. Help him learn study and time management skills and find things he loves outside of school -- because that's important to life, not because of college admissions.

[Anonymous]

You should understand that UVA and to a lesser extent VT can easily be more selective than OOS liberal arts colleges and OOS "good colleges".

There are few absolutes, but I can say with confidence that if your HS offers many APs/IB but your son only takes a very small amount, he'll have a very hard time explaining to top schools why they should admit him over the students who took all the school offered. Course rigor is the single most important metric (along with GPA, of course)

You could look into governer's school summer and year programs, and language immersion programs like Middlebury language school's summer program.

Also read "how to be a high school superstar" by Cal Newport and "who gets in and why" by Jeffrey J. Selingo

Also: https://lesshighschoolstress.com/part-1/

[Anonymous]

Support your child as they develop, learn and find interests. Then when college search time comes, find a college that matches your child. Don’t craft your child into some ideal for a particular college or college tier.

[Anonymous]

(part 2) https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

(part 3) https://lesshighschoolstress.com/part-3-what-to-do/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Support your child as they develop, learn and find interests. Then when college search time comes, find a college that matches your child. Don’t craft your child into some ideal for a particular college or college tier.

THIS. THIS. THIS.

[Anonymous]

most important think in college admissions is the high school the applicant came from. boarding schools have a lot of money to give

[Anonymous]

Don't do this yet. These kids are so, so stressed and application process is so unpredictable. You cannot mold them and expect admissions as you would have 20+ years ago.

It's not the same.

[Anonymous]

OP, let your kid be a kid and don't even think about this stuff until 10th grade at the earliest.

You cannot helicoptor or bulldoze for your kid and have it end up well.

[Anonymous]

These threads are effing pathetic. These poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Just help the kid enjoy life!!!

[Anonymous]

You need to chill waaaaaay out!

With one caveat. Now is an excellent time to work on habits and study skills. Work on them completing assignment, on time, and offer to help them study for tests and quizzes. Other than that, keep them reading and let them enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous]

1. Accept that life may throw your family curveballs and know you'll need to pivot when those come.

2. Specifically: understand that at some point your kid can hit a brick wall and burn out. Be ready to support them if/when they do.

3. If you're in a school with lots of advanced courses, the academic standards your kid has to reach just got a whole lot higher. Colleges compare kids to their classmates. Your kid will have to take a good number of these APs (or IBs) to demonstrate he's in the top group. AP or IB doesn't matter. There is a wide range of difficulty in AP exams: do core APs for maximum impact.

4. GPA is all-important. The question often asked is: can you get away with an A in a non-AP class or is it better to have a B in an AP? Who the heck knows, but if you're contemplating this, it's goodbye to the top tier anyway, unless your kid has a hook.

5. Hooks: alumni parents, recruited athlete, development case (10M), international recognition in something.

6. Volunteering the required hours are a must, but volunteering more than that may not be recognized by the college, unless it's Georgetown and a handful of others, who state that community engagement is all-important. If your kid can organize his volunteering and tie it to an interest if his, and write about it cogently in an essay, it's a plus.

7. Activities: participation gets you nothing, you need measurable achievement and third party evidence (ex: don't just write a book, get the book published by a legit publisher), the pointier the better. Don't forget that colleges want well-rounded cohorts, but pointy individuals.

8. SAT/ACT score. The higher the better. Most colleges will have swung back from test-blind or test-optional practices by the time your kid gets to test time.

9. I agree with others that right now, what you need to do is build good study habits, focus on mental and physical resilience, and nurture a relationship of trust with your child. College admissions are hard enough when the family works as a team. It becomes much more challenging if communication breaks down.

[Anonymous]

OP, as many others have said, you have to support the kid you have. Give them opportunities, and see what interests develop. Follow their lead.

Yes, to get into Harvard, your kid is likely going to need all advanced classes, perfect grades, and something extra. But you can't mold just any kid into that. They have to want it. (And even if they do want it, they might not be able to make it happen.) It doesn't sound like your kid is either a super hard worker or naturally brilliant. Your kid could decide to become a super hard worker in the future, but forcing that is a recipe for disaster. Whatever happens, your kid will find a place.

I have one kid who generally wanted to do well, but knew that taking all advanced classes and doing well in them would be more work and pressure than he wanted to deal with. So he took some advanced classes, and didn't kill himself for perfection in those classes. Harvard, etc. weren't going to be options for him, and he knew and accepted that. He's headed to a SLAC in the 30-50 range and it will be great for him.

My younger one (now a sophomore) thus far has the grades and the rigor to be competitive for any college. She's always been a perfectionist and one to take on a challenge. And in the end, she probably won't get into Harvard either. But she too will find a place that is right for her.