So who is the jerk here?

[Anonymous]

I gave away free baby clothing and toys through Facebook a month ago and someone messaged me asking if I had more which at the time I did not. I did another sweep this week and messaged them. I had 3 huge trash bags worth of stuff sitting in my living room. They told me they were out of town and could get them when they return. I didn’t respond to them immediately and moved on to the next person who said they could get them in 30 minutes. Some of the items were for a child that was older so the person who picked up didn’t take everything. I then messaged the original person who said they were out of town back and let them know most of the items were gone but I would hold items for her if she wanted because there were only a few items left. I get a message calling me all kinds of names and how dare I give them away when she messaged me back 10 minutes after I messaged her even though her message stated she was out of town and could only collect she she returned. Whose the jerk here?

[Anonymous]

The person who sent you the rude message is the jerk. You were being generous and helping people out and they were acting rude and entitled. They should be appreciative that you thought of them and that you gave them anything to begin with. Don’t feel bad about what they said. You are being generous and kind by giving people stuff that you don’t need anymore.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You went above and beyond, OP. The other person is extraordinarily entitled and abusive. I don't think you should even respond. Block them. Even better screen shot and send it to the group to warn them.

[Anonymous]

You should have replied and let them know you were moving on to someone else or held them for the original person you messaged. Not that you owed it to them, but you offered and they accepted and then you went back on that.

However, your actions do not warrant their response, so they are definitely the jerk here. I think you could have handled things better on your end, but I would just block them going forward.

[Anonymous]

You're dealing with randos. Lesson learned. Don't bother unless you develop a much thicker skin. Don't do it because it makes you feel good because it won't.

[Anonymous]

I’m confused. You offered them to someone who said they wanted them but was out of town? So you offered them to someone else? Did you tell the first person you couldn’t hold them?

[Anonymous]

No good deed goes unpunished

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have replied and let them know you were moving on to someone else or held them for the original person you messaged. Not that you owed it to them, but you offered and they accepted and then you went back on that.

However, your actions do not warrant their response, so they are definitely the jerk here. I think you could have handled things better on your end, but I would just block them going forward.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you hold the items for them until they returned? Did you contact them directly to say you had stuff for them or did they respond to a posting you put on Facebook? If you reached out to them, I would be miffed too that you gave them away when she did respond to you 10 minutes later. Calling you names is over the top but it is a bit strange on your part.

However, I do think they were rude to reach out asking if you had more stuff after giving away the first round of clothes/toys.

[Anonymous]

In general, people who want free stuff don’t appreciate it and the cheaper someone is, the more likely they are to be dissatisfied.

I hate that this is true because I always want to believe I’m being nice and generous and making a difference for someone but more often than not, I regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hold the items for them until they returned? Did you contact them directly to say you had stuff for them or did they respond to a posting you put on Facebook? If you reached out to them, I would be miffed too that you gave them away when she did respond to you 10 minutes later. Calling you names is over the top but it is a bit strange on your part.

However, I do think they were rude to reach out asking if you had more stuff after giving away the first round of clothes/toys.

Because I can’t live with trash bags in my living room and I have a toddler and 2 dogs to keep out of the bags and I am remodeling my house. The stuff was both posted to marketplace and I let her know I had more available by messaging her. When she told me she couldn’t get it until after she returned and I had a message from someone who could get it asap I let those people have it. I was trying to be nice but she wasn’t in town. The items that were left were not a lot so I could hold them.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think it would’ve be courteous to reply to the first person to let her know you could not hold them and would be giving to someone who could pick them up immediately. From what you wrote, it sounds like you didn’t respond at all until you let her know most was gone, so I can see why she was under the impression you’d give the items to her.

However, calling you all sorts of names is also an overreaction on her part.

[Anonymous]

When it comes to free sh*t, anyone who complains about the free sh*t is the jerk.

You could have responded to her "Sorry, FCFS, let me know when you return and if theres anything left it's yours." But no one has to hold items for them. No one has a right to be pissy for not getting your free sh*t.

[Anonymous]

Finders keepers losers weepers. She got what she paid for. But you must have acted like you were saving them for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person who sent you the rude message is the jerk. You were being generous and helping people out and they were acting rude and entitled. They should be appreciative that you thought of them and that you gave them anything to begin with. Don’t feel bad about what they said. You are being generous and kind by giving people stuff that you don’t need anymore.

+1

If it’s a buy nothing group I would message the admins so she can be banned.

I would have written her right back telling her I couldn’t hold the clothes and I would be moving on.