Bringing outside kids into a marriage

[Anonymous]

If you brought kids from another marriage into your new marriage, when you were dating how long did you wait before introducing your now spouse to you kids?

[Anonymous]

A year, and then it was like a 30 second hello the first time, then next time 2 minutes, then the time after that, about an hour. We really went slowly with it.

[Anonymous]

Whose kids? Are these your kids or are these “outside” kids as in your step kids from previous marriage? What does “outside kid” even mean?

[Anonymous]

Outside kids generally refers to children from affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outside kids generally refers to children from affairs.

Really? Wow. I'm just wow.

[Anonymous]

OP here. If you had kids from a prior marriage or your now spouse had kids from a prior marriage…..how long did you wait before you introduced kids and partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside kids generally refers to children from affairs.

Really? Wow. I'm just wow.

Yes . Not sure why op used that phrase when it seems like she's referring to potential step kids

[Anonymous]

After about 6 months

[Anonymous]

We waited six mitnhs but we are in our 50s and kids are teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We waited six mitnhs but we are in our 50s and kids are teens.

Do you recall how long you dated before you engaged? And then married?

[Anonymous]

A year of dating before he met my kid. And then it was a "hello". Eventually became dinners every other week. Now living together. But between meeting and moving in was about 3 years. Took it very very slow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We waited six mitnhs but we are in our 50s and kids are teens.

How does that make things any different from what they would otherwise be?

[Anonymous]

This is so oddly phrased. I have to believe this is the significant other w/o children who is likely also hoping to have their own inside kids when they marry.

If you’re hoping to marry and become a stepparent to your partner’s children someday, I’d start by reframing who they are (your partner’s children, eventual stepchildren), and never refer to them as “outside kids.”

[Anonymous]

The circumstances matter. I'd wait longer if I were a woman dating a man, especially if my child was a girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The circumstances matter. I'd wait longer if I were a woman dating a man, especially if my child was a girl.

What if the man you were dating were also the father of a girl?