Perfect guy but he makes less money than me

[Anonymous]

A guy I’ve been dating is everything I want with the exception of his income. His income will likely never change and grow. I know money doesn’t equal happiness and it’s not super important in the grand scheme of things, but it’s important for the life I envision. I want the ability to stay at home when I have kids, give kids a comfortable life, retire, etc. Should I overlook it?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you can't overlook it. Accept that and figure what to say to him when you dump him.

[Anonymous]

Depends on what his income is

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Run. (Him, that is. You're destined to be alone.)

[Anonymous]

Move on, you are going to resent him.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. Keep digging.

[Anonymous]

I think you might have unrealistic expectations about having an affluent lifestyle as a SAHM. If that truly is your priority, then you obviously need to find a spouse who can not only deliver that, but is also cool with being the breadwinner supporting a SAHM.

Hint: a lot of men say they want that until they feel the stress of shouldering the financial burden alone.

If you are young, attractive, and educated, you might find this unicorn of a spouse. If not, then adjust your priorities.

How old are you?

Despite what you think, women don’t easily get pregnant after 35. If your clock is ticking, then adjust your priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. Run. (Him, that is. You're destined to be alone.)

+1. Please let this perfect man go. You are looking for a meal ticket, not a partner.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.

[Anonymous]

Seems like if this is an issue you should filter for it earlier on. Seems like something that's pretty easy to ballpark.

[Anonymous]

Do you want to be a stand home mom so yes, you do want a meal ticket.

Accept who you are, dump the good guy, let him find a good girl, and go find you a man who will pay for your life without much in return.

[Anonymous]

Edited

You want to be a stand home mom so yes, you do want a meal ticket.

Accept who you are, dump the good guy, let him find a good girl, and go find you a man who will pay for your life without much in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.

Then you will need to work or have him be a SAHD. Your mom chose to stay at home and look at how you suffered. By working and being married to the man of your dreams will reap rewards to your future children.

But you really do want a meal ticket, if you are wanting to retire in the next few years and pop out kids. Just admit it and let this man find a woman that will love all of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like if this is an issue you should filter for it earlier on. Seems like something that's pretty easy to ballpark.

OP here. That’s what I’ve been doing with men but we met on a night out and it all happened so quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.

Just because it’s cliche doesn’t mean that you have to apologize for prioritizing a man’s money.