Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...DW does not have a close relationship at all with her mom and always complains about her....I don't see the same issue with men and their parents... |
0 issues. Love my Mom to pieces. She is my hero and role model.
She was also a young widow and I saw her filling a mother and father role and admired her |
I love my mother, have a great deal of respect for her, and consider her a close friend .... but even so, I have issues with her sometimes. I've even complained to DH about her a few times.
DH, on the other hand, doesn't speak to his father more than twice a year - once on his dad's birthday, and once on Father's day. FIL hasn't called DH on DH's birthday for a long as I've known him. |
Could it be you're just noticing it because it's unusual or seems wrong? I have a great relationship with my mother, as do most people I know. I know many people, male and female, who do not speak to their fathers at all. |
Man here. My wife's mother is great. My own mother is crazy. |
I have no relation with my mom but I am so far very close to my teenager. |
Both of my parents dislike me but my father really hates me, so I’m not sure what you are observing OP. I don’t collect data on the posts, however. |
Not everyone is lucky enough to have good parents. It is a big source of disappointment to me in life that my mother isn’t more of a true mother. Not everyone can win the lottery. I’m trying not to repeat the pattern with my own kids, but honestly, it causes me a lot of anxiety. I second-guess myself all the time. You seem judgmental. Be kind to your wife. |
If that’s true it is their issue and not about you. Sad though. |
I have issues with both of my parents, OP. So there’s that. |
Mother-daughter relationships are hard.
But so are most relationships! If you did a poll, I think you would find just as many difficult daughter-father relationships as daughter-mother. |
Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes. |
I love my mom but sometimes she drives me crazy because we come from a family that is not shy about giving opinions and unsolicited advice. With your wife, if they aren’t close, what is there to complain about? I am guessing she wants her mom or that relationship to be something it’s not and is frustrated. I had one relative that I complained about (not my mom) and one response on DCUM opened my eyes to the real issue. I was disappointed the relationship wasn’t this close relationship I had envisioned and on some level felt rejected that the person couldn’t care less about building a relationship with me. Once I let go of what I thought the relationship could be, I was able to make peace with the fact we aren’t close and there really wasn’t the emotion (rejection, disappointment ) to give energy to complaining about them. |
My mom is a selfish, evil witch and has never had a clue on how to parent. |
+1. This is what has prevented my mom and me from having a relationship. Thank you, PP, for stating this so clearly. |