Mom/Dad teamwork on discipline

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had experience helping their spouse improve at disciplining their kids? I've got reasonably effective techniques, but my wife has shown very little interest in learning new techniques, and usually calls me in to handle behavior problems. I'm fine doing this some of the time, but I'd like her to be able to handle at least the trivial issues. For example, the other night she had to call me away from washing the dishes because our child didn't want to get out of the bathtub and into pajamas. My solution was very simple and took care of the situation within 5 seconds (offered a choice between getting out herself or me lifting her out of the bathtub). But having me as the main source of discipline isn't working too well, since (1) it undermines my kids' respect for my wife's authority; and (2) when she does have to take the kids solo she's often overwhelmed. The latter is kind of a problem, since it interferes with my ability to tackle chores that I can't include the kids in (e.g., mowing the lawn).

[Anonymous]

Does your wife have ADD or an anxiety disorder that underlies the overwhelm? What was her own childhood like?

In the past I personally found classes at PEP in MD very helpful as did spouse, but I think there is more going on here.

Does your DW work outside the home? If not, it might be something to consider at least PT. The dynamic you describe is not great for her or the child 24/7. I'd also consider stopping at 1 without real change, the "overwhelm" factor tends to grow.

[Anonymous]

Is your wife depressed? When depressed I found many things overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

The kids are in daycare and she works full time from home, so during the week she sees them for an hour in the morning and maybe 2 hours in the evening. I have primary responsibility during a lot of that time, and have to drive the bedtime routine. Weekends are a struggle.

There are definitely underlying anxiety and depression issues, and some medical treatment for that. The treatment has improved but not completely fixed the issue.

We've got two, and as much as I'd love a bigger family I agree that it isn't feasible or advisable.