Dress neutral to avoid attention

[Anonymous]

8 year old nieces has been wearing leggings & t shirt. I don't see anything wrong with it, but MIL complains to me that she has been asking them to dress the girl in dresses or get her longer t- shirt to cover her butts. She does not understand why SIL dresses herself pretty(sexy side)with makeup, and why they dress their only girl like a tomboy. BIL gave her reasons is that he does not want to dress her to get any unnecessary boy's attention. I don't know what niece thinks.

Since my daughter was preschooler, she knows what she wants to wear. She has a ton of dresses, skirts, leggings, tutu, hair accessories and nail stickers. I just make sure that she wears boyshorts under whatever skirt or dresses she wears because I don't want her to show underwear with the way she plays. She loves to wear pretty to get everyone"s attention from peers to adults. I just let her be. I normally wear sporty or casual, unlike my daughter. She still likes to wear dresses and skirts at age 7, and I notice that normally other girls often wear leggings and shirts to school/play.

DH thinks it is fine for her to dress whatever she wants as long as she is happy/appropriate to her age & there is a boyshorts underneath, and we don't think other kids care much what she wears. What's your thought on this for parents that have a daughter?

[Anonymous]

You're talking about 8 year olds dressing to get boys' attention? EIGHT! That's a conversation that could meaningfully be had over on the tween and teen board, but eight? There are things I don't let my girls around that age wear, but it has nothing to do with whether or not the 2nd grade boys will notice/care (they don't, as far as I know). And who cares if an adult woman wears make-up and doesn't put it on her 8 year old? I mean this respectfully, is this something related to an ethnicity's culture that I just don't understand?

My rules for my kids are that they look appropriate for the occasion - you don't wear your Easter dress to school or your athletic clothes to church or your swimsuit. They need to dress for the weather, which one of them regularly tries not to do. We also have some modesty rules, but those are about being able to move freely (like the bikeshorts rule you have) and match our religious norms. After that, it's pretty much a free-for-all.

[Anonymous]

If the girl is not allowed to wear dresses because boys will notice, that's CREEPY. Everything else: who cares?

Either MIL has noticed a real problem and is phrasing it weird, or she's making a big deal out of nothing.

[Anonymous]

I think as a parent you can buy clothes you'd like for them to wear, but you can't make them wear certain clothes past Kindergarten.

I will say that my 8 year old still wears leggings as pants and I've started to buy her athletic leggings (thicker and more meant as pants) as she outgrows her cotton, printed leggings. The cotton printed ones are more for toddlers and are a bit thin as she grows. I want to make sure that weirdos aren't leering at her.

Also, my 8 year old is not interested in attracting boys- that's wild.

[Anonymous]

A dress is not appropriate for PE, and recess. So, no, mine aren't going to school in a dress. I don't care what other people choose for their kids. I make my 5 year old wear leggings and a tshirt lol if I let her have it her way, she'd be wearing an elaborate costume with many layers to school and a full face of makeup. That's not happening. Save it for the weekend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 year old nieces has been wearing leggings & t shirt. I don't see anything wrong with it, but MIL complains to me that she has been asking them to dress the girl in dresses or get her longer t- shirt to cover her butts. She does not understand why SIL dresses herself pretty(sexy side)with makeup, and why they dress their only girl like a tomboy. BIL gave her reasons is that he does not want to dress her to get any unnecessary boy's attention. I don't know what niece thinks.

Since my daughter was preschooler, she knows what she wants to wear. She has a ton of dresses, skirts, leggings, tutu, hair accessories and nail stickers. I just make sure that she wears boyshorts under whatever skirt or dresses she wears because I don't want her to show underwear with the way she plays. She loves to wear pretty to get everyone"s attention from peers to adults. I just let her be. I normally wear sporty or casual, unlike my daughter. She still likes to wear dresses and skirts at age 7, and I notice that normally other girls often wear leggings and shirts to school/play.

DH thinks it is fine for her to dress whatever she wants as long as she is happy/appropriate to her age & there is a boyshorts underneath, and we don't think other kids care much what she wears. What's your thought on this for parents that have a daughter?

Is this immigrant troll

[Anonymous]

I'm not really positive what you're asking, but I have an seven, nearly eight, year old daughter. She mixes dresses and t-shirts with leggings underneath as pants, but most of the things I see sold as pants for that age are basically leggings anyway. The only attention she attracts is from adults who say "wow, you've sure got a lot of clothes with cats on them."

[Anonymous]

Op here. MIL says that BIL (her son) does not want and does not like his daughter to dress feminine. She does not understand why he marries SIL who is feminine in personality and dress feminine for herself. That is double standard when it comes to wife/daughter or over protection of daughter? MIL wants her granddaughter to dress pretty, and she does not understand what they are thinking. That is why she complains to me to figure out why.

Since niece was little like toddler age , he kind of blocking both side of granddaughters getting her dresses, skirts, girl accessories, pink/purple color because he does not like her to wear them. He tells everyone that she likes legos and puzzles. And, I don't know if it is truth or not. The other side of grandparents (SIL's parents) that I met twice complained to me before that they want to dress their daughter in pretty clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A dress is not appropriate for PE, and recess. So, no, mine aren't going to school in a dress. I don't care what other people choose for their kids. I make my 5 year old wear leggings and a tshirt lol if I let her have it her way, she'd be wearing an elaborate costume with many layers to school and a full face of makeup. That's not happening. Save it for the weekend!

My 8 year old knows when she has PE and she has a few longer dresses she doesn’t wear on PE days, and she wears shorts or pants for soccer. Otherwise a dress or skirt doesn’t slow her down one bit.

[Anonymous]

At 8 the kid knows what she likes. You and MIL need to MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Crazy indiian troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the girl is not allowed to wear dresses because boys will notice, that's CREEPY. Everything else: who cares?

Either MIL has noticed a real problem and is phrasing it weird, or she's making a big deal out of nothing.

This, I am torn between saying none of this is any of MIL's or your business, one the one hand, and on the other hand, thinking there is something wrong with your niece's parents if they are concerned with dressing an 8 year old in a way to avoid male attention. Most 8 year old boys are not at all interested in girls and for those who are, it is the most innocent, puppy love type of crush you could imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. MIL says that BIL (her son) does not want and does not like his daughter to dress feminine. She does not understand why he marries SIL who is feminine in personality and dress feminine for herself. That is double standard when it comes to wife/daughter or over protection of daughter? MIL wants her granddaughter to dress pretty, and she does not understand what they are thinking. That is why she complains to me to figure out why.

Since niece was little like toddler age , he kind of blocking both side of granddaughters getting her dresses, skirts, girl accessories, pink/purple color because he does not like her to wear them. He tells everyone that she likes legos and puzzles. And, I don't know if it is truth or not. The other side of grandparents (SIL's parents) that I met twice complained to me before that they want to dress their daughter in pretty clothing.

I would assume the kid is dressing themselves and not dressing "feminine" because she doesn't want to? She's eight, she's old enough to figure out what she wants to wear, and it's 2024, girls can wear pants.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 year old nieces has been wearing leggings & t shirt. I don't see anything wrong with it, but MIL complains to me that she has been asking them to dress the girl in dresses or get her longer t- shirt to cover her butts. She does not understand why SIL dresses herself pretty(sexy side)with makeup, and why they dress their only girl like a tomboy. BIL gave her reasons is that he does not want to dress her to get any unnecessary boy's attention. I don't know what niece thinks.

Since my daughter was preschooler, she knows what she wants to wear. She has a ton of dresses, skirts, leggings, tutu, hair accessories and nail stickers. I just make sure that she wears boyshorts under whatever skirt or dresses she wears because I don't want her to show underwear with the way she plays. She loves to wear pretty to get everyone"s attention from peers to adults. I just let her be. I normally wear sporty or casual, unlike my daughter. She still likes to wear dresses and skirts at age 7, and I notice that normally other girls often wear leggings and shirts to school/play.

DH thinks it is fine for her to dress whatever she wants as long as she is happy/appropriate to her age & there is a boyshorts underneath, and we don't think other kids care much what she wears. What's your thought on this for parents that have a daughter?

Your MIL sounds a bit nuts - on the one hand she thinks a tshirt and leggings are exposing too much of an 8 year old's body, but on the other hand she's bothered that your SIL isn't dressing the 8 year old prettier/sexier? She needs to sit down somewhere.

Your husband is the only person in this post who makes any sense. Listen to him.