Don't want to go through this again

[Anonymous]

TW: living child

I know this is the infertility forum and many don't even have one living child so please delete in inappropriate.

I'm 36.5F, ttc our second living child. Originally I started ttc our first at the start of 2020, nothing for nine cycles, one chemical pregnancy, nothing again for three cycles and then I conceived our first baby which we had to TFMR at 15 weeks because half his skull was missing.
Then back to trying (with mandatory extra large dose of folate to prevent another neural tube defect pregnancy). Nothing for two months, another chemical pregnancy, then another two months of nothing before I had a laparoscopy for endo and then immediately conceived our living daughter. In amongst all this I saw multiple fertility specialists, had multiple invasive tests, tried every vitamin and other stuff out there.

My pregnancy with our daughter was filled with anxiety and grief. She was born June 2022 and in Dec 2023 we decided to start trying again. I had a chemical pregnancy from that cycle and then back to the drawing board for three more unsuccessful cycles (tbh I didn't really try on the right dates because I was equally scared of being pregnant as not being pregnant.)

Now it's 7dpo in my current cycle and like a psychopath I am testing already and it's negative.

Just hate this and don't know if I can stomach this bullshit to get a second living child.

Thanks so much for reading if you got through all this. I know we're so lucky to even have one healthy child.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's so hard.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. Infertility, even secondary infertility, is stressful and depressing.

I see you have endo. Do you also have PCOS or anything auto-immune related?

Are you tracking your cycles at home with Inito or similar?

[Anonymous]

OP- thank you for your replies. I was having a bad day yesterday and I've gained some perspective back today. I think it's just hard when you get caught up in the ttc cycle and feel like your body is failing you month after month.

The endo was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist. He did blood tests which showed elevated natural killer cells and then did a lap and found endo. I feel like there may be some underlying immune issues contributing to my sub fertility. I don't have PCOS.

I track cycles using the Flo app and my cervical mucus. My cycles are regular so I've followed the advice of one of the fertility specialists to have sex every second day starting at day 10 of my cycle. I'm pretty sure this is working well because I've been able to get pregnant (even if it's chemical) multiple times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- thank you for your replies. I was having a bad day yesterday and I've gained some perspective back today. I think it's just hard when you get caught up in the ttc cycle and feel like your body is failing you month after month.

The endo was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist. He did blood tests which showed elevated natural killer cells and then did a lap and found endo. I feel like there may be some underlying immune issues contributing to my sub fertility. I don't have PCOS.

I track cycles using the Flo app and my cervical mucus. My cycles are regular so I've followed the advice of one of the fertility specialists to have sex every second day starting at day 10 of my cycle. I'm pretty sure this is working well because I've been able to get pregnant (even if it's chemical) multiple times.

OK, but you might want to try those eletronic devices that come with pee sticks (Mira, Inito, and another one). Sometimes cervical mucus doesn't quite align with your most fertile days. I've had ovulation peaks on the 10th day of my cycle, meaning that fertile days were prior to that. That, plus the fact that if you follow your progesterone, you might find that you have a luteal phase deficiency, meaning low progesterone at the end of your cycle that prevents your lining from thickening optimally. In which case, you might benefit from progesterone supplementation. If you're doing natural cycles, of course. With IVF, you get the progesterone automatically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- thank you for your replies. I was having a bad day yesterday and I've gained some perspective back today. I think it's just hard when you get caught up in the ttc cycle and feel like your body is failing you month after month.

The endo was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist. He did blood tests which showed elevated natural killer cells and then did a lap and found endo. I feel like there may be some underlying immune issues contributing to my sub fertility. I don't have PCOS.

I track cycles using the Flo app and my cervical mucus. My cycles are regular so I've followed the advice of one of the fertility specialists to have sex every second day starting at day 10 of my cycle. I'm pretty sure this is working well because I've been able to get pregnant (even if it's chemical) multiple times.

OK, but you might want to try those eletronic devices that come with pee sticks (Mira, Inito, and another one). Sometimes cervical mucus doesn't quite align with your most fertile days. I've had ovulation peaks on the 10th day of my cycle, meaning that fertile days were prior to that. That, plus the fact that if you follow your progesterone, you might find that you have a luteal phase deficiency, meaning low progesterone at the end of your cycle that prevents your lining from thickening optimally. In which case, you might benefit from progesterone supplementation. If you're doing natural cycles, of course. With IVF, you get the progesterone automatically.

OP- thank you those are good points. I do suspect low progesterone because sometimes I have spotting before my period comes. Which brand would you recommend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- thank you for your replies. I was having a bad day yesterday and I've gained some perspective back today. I think it's just hard when you get caught up in the ttc cycle and feel like your body is failing you month after month.

The endo was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist. He did blood tests which showed elevated natural killer cells and then did a lap and found endo. I feel like there may be some underlying immune issues contributing to my sub fertility. I don't have PCOS.

I track cycles using the Flo app and my cervical mucus. My cycles are regular so I've followed the advice of one of the fertility specialists to have sex every second day starting at day 10 of my cycle. I'm pretty sure this is working well because I've been able to get pregnant (even if it's chemical) multiple times.

OK, but you might want to try those eletronic devices that come with pee sticks (Mira, Inito, and another one). Sometimes cervical mucus doesn't quite align with your most fertile days. I've had ovulation peaks on the 10th day of my cycle, meaning that fertile days were prior to that. That, plus the fact that if you follow your progesterone, you might find that you have a luteal phase deficiency, meaning low progesterone at the end of your cycle that prevents your lining from thickening optimally. In which case, you might benefit from progesterone supplementation. If you're doing natural cycles, of course. With IVF, you get the progesterone automatically.

OP- thank you those are good points. I do suspect low progesterone because sometimes I have spotting before my period comes. Which brand would you recommend?

The cheapest to check for low progesterone would be the Proov app, and buying their progesterone sticks. However, it seemed to me that their method for taking pictures of the results was a bit lacking, so I switched to Inito (I understand Mira and another one -ClearBlue? - might be similar). Those have a higher cost upfront, because you need to buy a small electronic device that takes the photos for you. However, it makes the photos a lot more consistent from sample to sample. Also I prefer their app and graphing.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Any reason you aren't pursuing IVF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Any reason you aren't pursuing IVF?

OP- 36.5. I'm not doing ivf yet because I'm able to get pregnant but keep having chemical pregnancies. I've only been trying for three or four months so I don't want to jump straight to ivf yet.

[Anonymous]

Since you are able to get pregnant maybe you should look into RI? My sister is experiencing secondary infertility and has gotten some good explanations as to what is going on with her body.

I am on my third IVF cycle so not an anti RE

[Anonymous]

Sorry, looks like you have been doing RI. Best of luck

[Anonymous]

OP- I went to an RI to get pregnant with my first, this time trying I haven't yet. This post has actually inspired me to make an appointment with him, there's not a lot of time to waste when I'm already nearly 37.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Any reason you aren't pursuing IVF?

OP- 36.5. I'm not doing ivf yet because I'm able to get pregnant but keep having chemical pregnancies. I've only been trying for three or four months so I don't want to jump straight to ivf yet.

No offense, but I had a better track record than you when I lost a 15 week baby at 36. I'm now 39 doing IVF for 2 years and still no baby. You don't have the time you think you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Any reason you aren't pursuing IVF?

OP- 36.5. I'm not doing ivf yet because I'm able to get pregnant but keep having chemical pregnancies. I've only been trying for three or four months so I don't want to jump straight to ivf yet.

No offense, but I had a better track record than you when I lost a 15 week baby at 36. I'm now 39 doing IVF for 2 years and still no baby. You don't have the time you think you do.

No offense but you didn't read the post. She had a daughter in 2022.

Glad you are reaching out to RI, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Any reason you aren't pursuing IVF?

OP- 36.5. I'm not doing ivf yet because I'm able to get pregnant but keep having chemical pregnancies. I've only been trying for three or four months so I don't want to jump straight to ivf yet.

No offense, but I had a better track record than you when I lost a 15 week baby at 36. I'm now 39 doing IVF for 2 years and still no baby. You don't have the time you think you do.

No offense but you didn't read the post. She had a daughter in 2022.

Glad you are reaching out to RI, OP.

I have 2 kids prior to 6 losses. This is my point.